Ventage of a broken relationship
I thought I was doing right. All I did was leave him alone, give him space, and move on. All I wanted was for him to better himself and become a better person. Reality? He's bashing me as much as possible. He's making me out to be childish, immature and inconsiderate of him and his feelings. He sends me a message, of course I will not respond. I don't want to open old wounds that have started to heal. I don't want to deal with the constant arguing that he put me through after we broke up (via email). So, why would I answer? How am I being immature? He decides to post on how horrible I am and how I have changed and how I am hanging out with the wrong group of people.
I continue being the same person, the difference is that I no longer give him the attention he craves. I have decided to move on to better both him and me. If I stick around, nothing will change. Ever. My circle of friends have been nothing but supportive. When they were his friends, they tried talking to him about certain issues. His response was either an angry tantrum or he would walk away, according to their side, which I tend to believe because he has done that with me. When I asked him, he said they never did anything to talk to him about any issues. When we were still together, I have told him countless times to talk to his friends on aim or email or call them. He would only call the selected few that he already hung out with. Those that were located far away, he didn't bother. I even remember asking him to call his god child's father to hang out or see what's up. Very few, if at all, did he call. So, actions speak louder than words and his actions told his friends that they were not that important, so they didn't bother with him. Maybe that's why they hung out at a specific person's house so many times.
I am not an evil person. I know he is not an evil person either. But all he wants is to get back at me. He doesn't want to hear about my new love life. He doesn't want to hear about how I am enjoying my life with my circle of friends. He doesn't want to know that I am okay. He wants me to feel miserable just as he is feeling. That is his own fault. He refuses to let go and try to move on. He refuses to do what he can to better himself as a person. Her refuses to grow up and deal. I am in a better place now, and he is trying to kill me again with his words. Why do I let words get to me? They always have gotten to me and they have always killed me since I was in middle school. Still, here i am, giving my words and wondering what difference will it make. If I try to reason with him, he will try to get me to see him in person, which is just awkward at this point. He has posted some hurtful things and I continue trying to ignore them. But I can only take so much.
I have been told that if I talk to him, he will win because he is indirectly trying to get me to talk to him, message him, get a reaction just so he can use that against me. Maybe they are right, or maybe they are wrong. Still, he has won. They continue to bother me and continue to fester inside me. All I wanted was to look back at my good memories with him. We were together for almost 2 years. I wanted to look at that good times we had, the moments we did smile and how we enjoyed each other's company. I can't remember those times because he has been a brute to me. I only see the person that wants to harm me. I can only think of the bad days that he made me cry and his negative traits. Why do I think of that? Because he has put me through crap since he left. This is just him online and not actually seeing me in person. He was supposed to be my good in life, but that good is gone. Thank you for getting rid of my good.
I am now with someone else. He communicates with me actively. He listens to me and lets me know that he cares with what I do. He is honest with me and wants to make sure that if a problem arises, we can fix it. He respects me completely. I have taken a vow to keep myself celibant and he is the ONLY ONE to quickly say that it is a good idea and will make sure that I keep my vow. This was before we became a couple. He is the good that I need in my life right now. I want to forget about my tears, my shouts, and emotional drainage. I want to forget about the hurt that he has caused me.
He still believes that I am the evil one. He says so in his posts. He hopes that I cry when I read his posts. I can't cry; I only pity. I tell everyone to leave him alone, to not make things worse. Some of them have that desire, to make things worse for him because they know how he made me feel, maybe even how he continues to make me feel. They want him to get the picture and leave me alone.
I wanted to be his friend. Honestly and truthfully. However, the way things have gone, that can't happen anymore. I am sorry. Never did I want to hurt anyone, but his hurt to me was far worse. I was mentally drained in my first relationship. He...he emotionally drained me. What else am I supposed to do?
I continue being the same person, the difference is that I no longer give him the attention he craves. I have decided to move on to better both him and me. If I stick around, nothing will change. Ever. My circle of friends have been nothing but supportive. When they were his friends, they tried talking to him about certain issues. His response was either an angry tantrum or he would walk away, according to their side, which I tend to believe because he has done that with me. When I asked him, he said they never did anything to talk to him about any issues. When we were still together, I have told him countless times to talk to his friends on aim or email or call them. He would only call the selected few that he already hung out with. Those that were located far away, he didn't bother. I even remember asking him to call his god child's father to hang out or see what's up. Very few, if at all, did he call. So, actions speak louder than words and his actions told his friends that they were not that important, so they didn't bother with him. Maybe that's why they hung out at a specific person's house so many times.
I am not an evil person. I know he is not an evil person either. But all he wants is to get back at me. He doesn't want to hear about my new love life. He doesn't want to hear about how I am enjoying my life with my circle of friends. He doesn't want to know that I am okay. He wants me to feel miserable just as he is feeling. That is his own fault. He refuses to let go and try to move on. He refuses to do what he can to better himself as a person. Her refuses to grow up and deal. I am in a better place now, and he is trying to kill me again with his words. Why do I let words get to me? They always have gotten to me and they have always killed me since I was in middle school. Still, here i am, giving my words and wondering what difference will it make. If I try to reason with him, he will try to get me to see him in person, which is just awkward at this point. He has posted some hurtful things and I continue trying to ignore them. But I can only take so much.
I have been told that if I talk to him, he will win because he is indirectly trying to get me to talk to him, message him, get a reaction just so he can use that against me. Maybe they are right, or maybe they are wrong. Still, he has won. They continue to bother me and continue to fester inside me. All I wanted was to look back at my good memories with him. We were together for almost 2 years. I wanted to look at that good times we had, the moments we did smile and how we enjoyed each other's company. I can't remember those times because he has been a brute to me. I only see the person that wants to harm me. I can only think of the bad days that he made me cry and his negative traits. Why do I think of that? Because he has put me through crap since he left. This is just him online and not actually seeing me in person. He was supposed to be my good in life, but that good is gone. Thank you for getting rid of my good.
I am now with someone else. He communicates with me actively. He listens to me and lets me know that he cares with what I do. He is honest with me and wants to make sure that if a problem arises, we can fix it. He respects me completely. I have taken a vow to keep myself celibant and he is the ONLY ONE to quickly say that it is a good idea and will make sure that I keep my vow. This was before we became a couple. He is the good that I need in my life right now. I want to forget about my tears, my shouts, and emotional drainage. I want to forget about the hurt that he has caused me.
He still believes that I am the evil one. He says so in his posts. He hopes that I cry when I read his posts. I can't cry; I only pity. I tell everyone to leave him alone, to not make things worse. Some of them have that desire, to make things worse for him because they know how he made me feel, maybe even how he continues to make me feel. They want him to get the picture and leave me alone.
I wanted to be his friend. Honestly and truthfully. However, the way things have gone, that can't happen anymore. I am sorry. Never did I want to hurt anyone, but his hurt to me was far worse. I was mentally drained in my first relationship. He...he emotionally drained me. What else am I supposed to do?