(no subject)
i feel so gulity. sometimes, i don't know why, but sometimes, i just get really sad and frustrated and i start to hate my life and everyone in it. sometimes i think about taking out my peircings and throwing away my computer but i know id regret those choices so i don't. i get sad, and i fight with people and i say stupid things and i make myself even more unhappy. i feel guilty because i chose to fight with sean this time. he didn't do anything to me, he just said he didn't want to do something. so all of my anger and fustration just piled up and i fought with him for three days. we came far too close to breaking up. i'm sick of fighting with him and i'm sick of being uphappy and not being able to express my feelings in a proper manner. is there even a propper way to express yourself? i don't know but, i am sick of myself. i'm sick of making people i care about unhappy. i wish i knew how to just tell someone that i was unhappy with things instead of fighting about it. i wish i knew more feelings than happy, sad, & angry. i wish i could search inside myself and find out if i'm truly happy or not. i don't want to be confused or lost anymore.