[Text] - Sealed to Riku

[sayhitobianca]

[All right, he's waited long enough for this. Much as he's not exactly keen on talking things out, he knows something's got to be said about the zombie thing.

That, and he's got a few questions about what'd happened when Riku first woke up.]

Hey, Silver.

Figure you've come back to your senses by now.

You got a minute?

Comments

[Text; sealed to Varric]

[heroinwait]

[...well, shit.

Riku can't help but feel caught by this message. It's not that he's been -avoiding- Varric, it's just... yeah, okay, he's been avoiding Varric. How can he face him? He can't, not after that.

But then again, he probably owes it to Varric to own up to it. To at least -try- and make up for it.

Even so, it still takes effort to write the words.]

Sure. Where are you?

[All of the do not want. It is his.]

[Text; sealed to Riku]

[sayhitobianca]

[And here Varric's feeling awkward because he thinks he owes Riku. An apology at least, and he's never been any good at those.

Particularly not the 'hey, sorry I went insane and tried to kill you' kind.]

Same place I usually am, but we can meet somewhere else if you're not keen on the stable tower.

[Text; sealed to Varric --> Commentlog]

[heroinwait]

That's fine.

[JUDGMENT TIME.

Riku's not exactly looking forward to this talk as he makes his way to the stable tower. But when he finally enters, he looks just like the Riku Varric's used to.

Ta-daaaaa!]

[Commentlog]

[sayhitobianca]

[Varric doesn't reply to that, just sets the journal aside, stacking up the books, papers, and notebooks scattered around him into a more or less neat pile, and waits for Riku to show up.

When he does, looking like himself, there's a bit of a relief. Hard as any kind of apology is, he'd dislike it even more if he'd had to give it to what looked like a stranger.]

Good to see you.

[Looking like you, but he doesn't say that part. He's going to get the apology over with, before he makes it obvious that he's got questions.]

Look, Silver, I-

[And he cuts off, grimacing slightly. Damn does he hate this.]

Have a seat?

[Commentlog]

[heroinwait]

[Riku nods at the greeting, making his way over to Varric's table. Once there, he hesitates, not really wanting to sit, but again feeling like he owes it to the other man.

But at Varric's invitation, he finally does, though it's obvious from how he sits that he's not really comfortable doing so. But sitting finally forces him into action--he swallows his discomfort, glancing away from Varric and down to the table itself, and forces out the words:]

I'm sorry.

[It's hard to form the words, and he doesn't really feel much better for having said them. He looks back up to Varric, a tiny part of him glad for the blindfold that hides his vulnerability.]

I should have listened to you when you said to leave.

[It's his fault.]

Maybe if I had, you--

["--wouldn't have died."

But he can't say it.]

[Commentlog]

[sayhitobianca]

[An apology is pretty much the last thing Varric's expecting. It throws him off, however briefly, and for a moment he's silent, just looking at Riku as he talks.

But then - oh, no. Varric's not going to have any of this.]

Are you forgetting the part where I attacked you? You didn't do anything I wouldn't expect you to do, anything I'm not grateful for.

[He shakes his head, moving to pour himself a drink - and talking while he does, because this is easier if he doesn't actually have to look at him.]

I'm the one that owes you an apology. I shouldn't have done what I did, shouldn't have put you, or anyone else, at risk like that. I never should have put you in that situation.

[Commentlog]

[heroinwait]

[Wait, -what-? Riku's not expecting that. His head snaps up at that, and for a moment all he can do is listen in shocked silence.

But then he's shaking his head again.]

No, you didn't know. It's not your fault.

[Why is he apologizing? Riku feels like the world's turned on its head--it's -his- fault, it's his fault Varric died and the other man is apologizing to -him-? He was not prepared for this.]

I should've-- found another way.

[Commentlog]

[sayhitobianca]

[Looks like they both surprised each other.]

I know better than to take risks like that. Always comes back to bite you in the ass.

[If he'd been thinking clearly, he wouldn't have. But he hadn't been, and he did. Should've known better.]

More my fault than yours. If we really want to be pointing fingers, though, I'd prefer looking to the source.

[Either Kloe or Deior, actually, both're equally good.]

There wasn't another way, Silver. If it wasn't you, it would've had to have been someone else. More people might've been hurt. Not saying that I wanted it to be you. I never would've wanted you to have to do something like that.

[He knows what it's like, having to kill someone you know. It's not even close to easy.]

[Commentlog]

[heroinwait]

[That's something he can agree with. He was on both sides of that decision in just the span of a couple days.

Riku still can't forgive himself--and he thinks that Varric's being way too quick to forgive him as well--but... he also can't bring himself to really argue it.]

I guess we both could have done things differently.

[It's about as close as he's going to get to conceding.]

I'm sorry it ended the way that it did.

[Commentlog]

[sayhitobianca]

[It's close enough. Varric'll take it.]

So am I. And yeah, we could have. But we didn't, and there's no use thinking about how it could've gone differently. Just remember it for the future. Not that it'll be happening again, as long as I've got a say in it. Both the outbreak, and the attack.

[There's a pause.]

So as long as Kloe keeps to herself for the first part, and as long as I'm conscious and sober, for the second.

[Yes, he's making a joke. This conversation's far too serious, it's what he does.]

[Commentlog]

[heroinwait]

[Do you really expect him to joke around right now, Varric? Come on. This is no joking matter. Not at all!

Riku doesn't crack a smile, but he -does- nod at the other man's words. Remember it for the future? No problem -there-. He wouldn't be able to forget the attack even if he -tried-.]

I think a lot of people feel that way. She'll probably be lying low for a while.

[At least, if she has any semblance of -sense- she will be.]

[Commentlog]

[sayhitobianca]

[Everything's a joking matter, Riku.

Well. Almost everything. After the part that's not a joking matter's been talked about enough that he thinks it's time to move on.]

She will be if she's smart. For her own safety, as much as anyone else's. I know there's a number of people who're out for her blood.

[Commentlog] ...i am so sorry for this tag /head in hands

[heroinwait]

[Riku folds his arms.]

Seems like a waste of effort to me. Getting revenge on Dr. Bishop isn't going to do anything.

[And it's distracting them from the more important matters.]

[Commentlog] ...ffff I saw that in my inbox and got all worried

[sayhitobianca]

[He smirks slightly, shaking his head.]

That's because you've got a brain, and the ability to use it to think logically.

[Not that others don't, usually. But some of them have - special circumstances.]

People're out for blood, but that's not much use when she'll just come back, without memories, and more of a risk.

[Commentlog] MY BAD XD it just felt blah, nothing more!

[heroinwait]

Exactly. If they attack her now, we run the risk of this happening all over again.

[And this is why he likes to work alone!]

The last thing we need is another round of people dying.

[Once was more than enough, thank you, and he doesn't want to have to worry about Kairi's safety when it's an entirely avoidable situation.]

[Commentlog] XD IT WAS FINE

[sayhitobianca]

This is why I like you, Silver. I never get headaches trying to explain things to you.

[He pauses.]

When we're both in full possession of our memories, at least.