Strangers Again - [Oneshot: Part B]
Title: Strangers Again
Length: Oneshot (approx 5,600 words)
Author: sayhell
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Kyuwook
Genre: Mild Angst
Summary: Four years after the disbandment of Super Junior, Kyuhyun met Ryeowook once again, only to find that Ryeowook was no longer ensnared by their broken relationship.
Kyuhyun arrived at the café, which they had agreed to meet at, twenty minutes before the designated time. The café was situated on the outskirts of Seoul, away from the milling mass that populated the streets of downtown. In the past, this place used one of the very few locations where they could behave freely like lovers, unrestraint by societal stigma.
A pair of bells chimed when he entered the café and a friendly lady in her mid-fifties greeted him from behind the counter. The air was redolent with a calming aroma of coffee and tea. Probably because of the hour, the place was empty of other patrons. He was silently thankful of that.
He ordered a regular Ceylon and settled himself on a seat juxtaposed to the long pane of window that gave him an explicit view of the street from which he had arrived. His eyes strayed to the secluded corner where they used to laze their afternoons away, engaged in shared whispers and occasional lovers’ banter. He looked away quickly before another bout of memories could attack.
He cleared his mind and kept his eyes trained on the street. A few cars lined the sides of streets and if not for the intermittent passing of some cars, he would have believed that he was staring at a life-sized painting. Some occasional passersby had thrown him surprised glances, but none had entered the café to question him or to seek his autograph.
A black car pulled to a stop on the roadside shortly after his order was served. He was barely aware that he had been holding his breath as Ryeowook alighted from the passenger side of the car. Before he could relish at the sight of Ryeowook, he was distracted by the presence of another man who had hopped out from the driver seat. From his view, he could discern the tall and lean stature of the man. From the hints of his hair and skin, Kyuhyun decided that the man was a mix between Caucasian and Asian.
The man rounded the car and stood before Ryeowook. Blissful smiles adorned their faces as a conversation - the contents of which he itched to know - was exchanged. Ryeowook smiled even brighter after the man pulled away after whispering into his ear.
A sharp pain ambushed Kyuhyun when the man collected Ryeowook into his arms. And when he let go, it was of reluctance. The man bade goodbye and after one last long glance, he departed in the opposite direction. All the actions between the pair conspired to tell Kyuhyun that, somehow in the four years they had been apart, Ryeowook had found someone else to occupy the place that was once his.
Their eyes locked when Ryeowook turned in the direction of the café. Kyuhyun held up his hand in a gesture of greeting. Ryeowook smiled pragmatically in return and Kyuhyun found his eyes hurting from a flare that had nothing to do with the backlit of the morning sun. He ran a hand absentmindedly over the card resting in the inner breast pocket of his coat and felt his heart crack a little more at the thought of their impending end.
Cold autumn wind swooshed into the café when Ryeowook entered. He smiled again at Kyuhyun and headed to the counter to place his order.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Ryeowook pulled back the chair opposite from Kyuhyun and sat down after dropping his backpack in the seat beside. “The traffic seems to be heavy today.”
“No worries,” Kyuhyun waved it off. Deep down he wondered since when the need to apologize for trivialities had arisen between them.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Ryeowook sighed in nostalgia.
“Yeah,” Kyuhyun nodded and took a closer look at Ryeowook, picking out the minute changes which had accumulated to Ryeowook’s transformation. “You look different.”
Ryeowook laughed. “Don’t hesitate to tell me that I’m fatter than you’ve remembered. All these days without insane schedules have piled so much weight on me.” He pinched his rosy cheeks to make his point.
But Kyuhyun knew that that wasn’t it. The Ryeowook sitting before him carried an air of solid confidence that he never knew he was capable of. His eyes twinkled in sincere happiness, in complete contentment. His whole being seemed to shine.
You look more beautiful than I’ve remembered, Kyuhyun wanted to say, but he stopped himself.
“So… what have you been doing after getting discharged from the army? I was surprised when you decided to leave the entertainment scene.” Kyuhyun recalled Ryeowook’s dream of being a singer-songwriter.
“Leaving wasn’t exactly easy,” Ryeowook said thoughtfully, propping his chin against the meat of his palm. “But I decided that I’m not cut out to survive in that complicated mess. Unlike you, Kyu.” Ryeowook smiled proudly. “Our maknae is doing so well on his own.”
“I still prefer the times when we were together. The loneliness can get unbearable sometimes,” Kyuhyun confessed for the first time since he had gone solo. He recalled all the times when all thirteen members of Super Junior shared the same glory. They were tired back then, but they were happy as well.
Ryeowook contemplated Kyuhyun for a moment. “It must be hard on you. But truthfully, I’m grateful that you stayed on.”
Kyuhyun looked at Ryeowook quizzically, temporarily distracted from the magnified vulnerability that had reared its ugly head.
“You’re the voice of Super Junior,” Ryeowook continued. “Now that the group has disbanded, your albums, your works, have become the bridge that connects the youngsters to the knowledge that we existed in the past. And because of you, Super Junior isn’t forgotten.”
A force tugged at the corner of his lips and warmth sparked within is chest, burning away the self-doubt that had been consistently plaguing him. Ryeowook’s peculiar insights never fail to work their magic on him, fueling him to continue even when all he wanted to do was to escape. This had never changed.
“Yesung hyung’s going to be mad if he hears you,” Kyuhyun commented.
“Let’s keep this between us then.” Ryeowook winked. That moment, Kyuhyun nearly believed that time hadn’t wedged a distance between them.
They were briefly interrupted when the shopkeeper served Ryeowook’s coffee. Before Ryeowook could do anything, Kyuhyun reached instinctively for the miniature jug of creamer and poured a generous amount into the cup. Ryeowook watched in baffled surprise as the creamer swirled and changed the coffee into a milky brown. Kyuhyun then drop three cubes of sugar into the cup.
It was only when their eyes met did Kyuhyun become conscious of what he had done. The actions came naturally, a reflection of their past.
He cleared his throat lightly. “You always like your coffee sweet, don’t you?”
“You still remember?” Ryeowook picked up the teaspoon and began to stir.
“How can I possibly forget after all the times we had spent together?” Kyuhyun replied before he could stop himself.
The imprudent words represented the never-ending longing he had for the man. Ryeowook glanced up at him, his lips pursed. He found himself anticipating as Ryeowook opened his mouth several times in an attempt of speech. Perhaps Ryeowook felt the same way; perhaps they could be reinstated as lovers.
Finally, Ryeowook surrendered and tipped his face down, breaking the lock of their gazes. The initial ebullience of their reunion was now replaced by a heavy silence. The tepid sunlight filtering through the glass highlighted the soft incline of Ryeowook’s nose and the prominent curve of his cheekbone. When Kyuhyun noticed the frown that marred the tender spot between Ryeowook’s eyebrows, he reprimanded himself for subjecting him to such predicament.
Kyuhyun drew the card out from his pocket and slid it across the table. “This is the invitation card for my wedding. It’s this Saturday.”
Ryeowook stiffened for a fraction of a second before he lifted the card for closer scrutiny. His fingers feathered over the cursive letterings of his name.
“I would love to attend it but I’m not going to be in Korea,” Ryeowook said apologetically. Before Kyuhyun could ask any questions, Ryeowook took a deep breath and continued. “I’m migrating to Italy. And I’m leaving on Friday.”
The revelation sent Kyuhyun into an agitated inner state of disbelief and panic. Several accusations, all revolving around the hurt that Ryeowook had chosen to only tell him now, invaded his head like an angry swarm of bees. He maintained his calm composure but his trembling fingers gave him away. He curled them into a fist.
“I’ve always like Italy. The sceneries and the uncanny tranquility of the towns; everything seem to speak to me.” Ryeowook said in nostalgia, looking up at the sky outside. “I’ll probably teach there, you know, as a piano teacher to little kids. They might be scary but I think they’ll be adorable too.”
Kyuhyun listened as Ryeowook sketched a portrait of a future he has no part in. His mind drifted off and wondered if Ryeowook was going alone. It was when he contemplated the ludicrous possibility of being a runaway groom, did he recall the man from just now.
“Are you going with him?” Kyuhyun interrupted suddenly, startling Ryeowook.
“Oh.” Ryeowook recovered from his confusion when he realized what Kyuhyun was talking about and he nodded. “His name is Alex. He’s half-Italian. You saw him just now.” A contented smile fleeted over Ryeowook’s lips at the mention of the man.
“I met him during the trip to Italy shortly after I had left the army. He was there, stuck in the gutter, yelling his lungs out to get somebody’s attention and I happened to pass by.” Ryeowook offered more information than what Kyuhyun would like to know. The laugh that followed was no longer music to Kyuhyun’s ears.
“Why him?” Kyuhyun’s voice was hoarse from the pain that was tearing him apart. It should be me.
“I don’t really know.” Ryeowook ran a hand through his fringe and settled into deep thought. “He just seems to make everything right. I feel both carefree and secured when I’m with him.”
“Ryeowook…” Kyuhyun latched onto the sudden burst of courage that was a measure of his desperation. “What would become of us if I didn’t let go of you? Would it be me then?”
“Kyu-” “What if now I tell you that I can forsake everything I’ve here just to be with you again?” Kyuhyun’s voice got stronger in force and volume with each syllable. “What if I tell you that I still love-“
“Kyuhyun, stop.” Ryeowook said loudly, his expression stern. Kyuhyun fell back into his chair, taking gulps of air to calm the inexorable waves that still raged within him.
“You don’t understand,” Kyuhyun muttered, looking anywhere but at the piercing eyes pinned upon him.
“Yes I don’t,” Ryeowook shot back sharply. “You just asked questions that you shouldn’t. Questions that I couldn’t and shouldn’t answer.”
“You don’t understand,” Kyuhyun repeated, fighting the mad urge to dissolve into tears. “You don’t understand how much our memories are torturing me, how much I fucking miss you. And I’ve no one to blame but myself.”
Ryeowook’s face softened with pity and poignancy. “Kyuhyun, we’re not young anymore. We can no longer use our age as an excuse for our recklessness. Think about your family, think about your wife. She must be an amazing woman for you to want to spend the rest of your life with her.”
Kyuhyun closed his eyes, shutting Ryeowook out. Ryeowook had changed in ways more than one. He was slowly morphing into a stranger with each passing second. He was no longer the boy who gave in to Kyuhyun’s stubbornness, nor was he the boy who was willing to dive heedlessly into a mess that defined their relationship. Ryeowook was right: they weren’t young anymore. He was the one still marooned by their past.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes when two crisp knocks on glass sounded. The man, Alex, stood on the other side of the glass, cradling a paper bag filled to the brim with groceries. He carried an easy charm, Kyuhyun noted. His green eyes, olive skin tone and sensually-shaped lips were evidences of his Italian heritage.
Alex acknowledged Kyuhyun with a congenial grin and out of manners, he nodded in return. Alex then turned to Ryeowook, breaking into a wide smile. With his thumb, he pointed at himself and then at their car. He smiled and walked back towards the car when Ryeowook gestured an ‘okay’.
“It’s time for me to leave. Alex’s waiting.” Ryeowook slid the invitation card into his pocket and rose from his seat. “Don’t worry; even if I can’t be there for your wedding, my present would be. It would be a real big one.” Ryeowook beamed, as though the outburst had not taken place.
When Ryeowook was about to take his leave, Kyuhyun jolted up from his seat, rounded the table and pulled Ryeowook into a bone-crushing hug. With his trembling body pressed against Ryeowook’s pliant one, he felt twenty once again. Ryeowook’s hands came up to embrace his back.
“Do you…” Kyuhyun swallowed the ball of tears clogged in his throat as he steadied himself to ask the question that had haunted him for years. “Do you hate me for being the one that gave us up?”
“Perhaps I had been angry at you for a while; but Kyu, I could never hate you.” Ryeowook’s silky hair brushed at his cheek, carrying with it a musky scent that Kyuhyun tried to memorize. “I still love you as a friend, a brother. I want nothing more than for you to be happy.”
“This is the last, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun pulled Ryeowook even closer to him, unwilling to believe that time could separate them this easily.
“It probably is,” Ryeowook whispered, his hand patting Kyuhyun’s back in what would be an oddly comforting rhythm if the hug wasn’t the last. “Kyuhyun, let’s not meet again, at least not until you’ve truly let go of everything. You already have someone else you need to commit to. Don’t let her down.”
Tears boiled under Kyuhyun’s eyelids and a few escaped, coursing down his cheek to find their spots on Ryeowook’s coat. “Then what about you? Have you let go of us?”
“I can now go to Italy without being torn apart by the deluge of memories of us there. I’ve moved on, and you should too.” Ryeowook pulled back from the hug and his hands reached up to caress Kyuhyun’s tears. Kyuhyun wondered how Ryeowook could be gentle and cruel at the same time.
Kyuhyun’s lips to wavered into a child-like but reassuring smile, enlightened by the notion that the only way for them to continue is for them to end. “I’ll call you when I’ve achieved that feat. When that time comes, you better fly to Korea to meet me. It won’t be too far into the future.”
“Definitely.” Ryeowook gave his shoulder an encouraging pat. “I should go now.” Ryeowook took a step back and picked his bag up, slinging it over his shoulder. He gave Kyuhyun a final wave before he turned to leave.
However Ryeowook halted when he was about to pull the door open, as if he had forgotten something. Kyuhyun killed the tiny bubbles of hope within him before they could rise to unjustified heights.
“Kyuhyun, please stay healthy always. Sleep early, drink less coffee and spend less time on your games.” Ryeowook’s smile dazzled him, as if a fulfillment of the request was the last Kyuhyun could do for him. And then he left.
But Kyuhyun did not tell Ryeowook that nowadays he slept at ten, that he had replaced his coffee regimen with tea, and that he was no longer enchanted by the virtual satisfaction Starcraft offered.
His eyes landed on the cup of coffee resting on the table top and realized that, despite the repeated strokes of stir, Ryeowook had not taken a sip of it.
Time is a horrifying cage that traps humans in an illusion, Kyuhyun thought. It tricks them into believing that everything is constant, that having played an important part in someone’s life equated to understanding them forever. Under the beguiling appearance of stagnancy lie the currents of change waiting to be discovered.
Both Ryeowook and him were victims. They failed to recognize that change had manifested through the minute details of their habits. That alarmed and pained Kyuhyun.
In their twenties, they had progressed from friends to lovers; but when thirties came, they had backtracked into mere acquaintances.
Kyuhyun watched until the car disappeared down the road, his heart echoing from the emptiness that had manifested. He clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sobs that arose from certainty that this meeting was their last.
He cried and cried, his whole being aching over the complete loss of someone who would soon become a stranger.
END
::::::::::
A/N: My heart aches whenever the thought this could be a possible ending for them in real-life arises. It’s a long one-shot, probably boring too, but I’ve enjoyed writing it. Forgive me for the multiple grammatical errors. Thanks for reading.
Length: Oneshot (approx 5,600 words)
Author: sayhell
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Kyuwook
Genre: Mild Angst
Summary: Four years after the disbandment of Super Junior, Kyuhyun met Ryeowook once again, only to find that Ryeowook was no longer ensnared by their broken relationship.
Kyuhyun arrived at the café, which they had agreed to meet at, twenty minutes before the designated time. The café was situated on the outskirts of Seoul, away from the milling mass that populated the streets of downtown. In the past, this place used one of the very few locations where they could behave freely like lovers, unrestraint by societal stigma.
A pair of bells chimed when he entered the café and a friendly lady in her mid-fifties greeted him from behind the counter. The air was redolent with a calming aroma of coffee and tea. Probably because of the hour, the place was empty of other patrons. He was silently thankful of that.
He ordered a regular Ceylon and settled himself on a seat juxtaposed to the long pane of window that gave him an explicit view of the street from which he had arrived. His eyes strayed to the secluded corner where they used to laze their afternoons away, engaged in shared whispers and occasional lovers’ banter. He looked away quickly before another bout of memories could attack.
He cleared his mind and kept his eyes trained on the street. A few cars lined the sides of streets and if not for the intermittent passing of some cars, he would have believed that he was staring at a life-sized painting. Some occasional passersby had thrown him surprised glances, but none had entered the café to question him or to seek his autograph.
A black car pulled to a stop on the roadside shortly after his order was served. He was barely aware that he had been holding his breath as Ryeowook alighted from the passenger side of the car. Before he could relish at the sight of Ryeowook, he was distracted by the presence of another man who had hopped out from the driver seat. From his view, he could discern the tall and lean stature of the man. From the hints of his hair and skin, Kyuhyun decided that the man was a mix between Caucasian and Asian.
The man rounded the car and stood before Ryeowook. Blissful smiles adorned their faces as a conversation - the contents of which he itched to know - was exchanged. Ryeowook smiled even brighter after the man pulled away after whispering into his ear.
A sharp pain ambushed Kyuhyun when the man collected Ryeowook into his arms. And when he let go, it was of reluctance. The man bade goodbye and after one last long glance, he departed in the opposite direction. All the actions between the pair conspired to tell Kyuhyun that, somehow in the four years they had been apart, Ryeowook had found someone else to occupy the place that was once his.
Their eyes locked when Ryeowook turned in the direction of the café. Kyuhyun held up his hand in a gesture of greeting. Ryeowook smiled pragmatically in return and Kyuhyun found his eyes hurting from a flare that had nothing to do with the backlit of the morning sun. He ran a hand absentmindedly over the card resting in the inner breast pocket of his coat and felt his heart crack a little more at the thought of their impending end.
Cold autumn wind swooshed into the café when Ryeowook entered. He smiled again at Kyuhyun and headed to the counter to place his order.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Ryeowook pulled back the chair opposite from Kyuhyun and sat down after dropping his backpack in the seat beside. “The traffic seems to be heavy today.”
“No worries,” Kyuhyun waved it off. Deep down he wondered since when the need to apologize for trivialities had arisen between them.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Ryeowook sighed in nostalgia.
“Yeah,” Kyuhyun nodded and took a closer look at Ryeowook, picking out the minute changes which had accumulated to Ryeowook’s transformation. “You look different.”
Ryeowook laughed. “Don’t hesitate to tell me that I’m fatter than you’ve remembered. All these days without insane schedules have piled so much weight on me.” He pinched his rosy cheeks to make his point.
But Kyuhyun knew that that wasn’t it. The Ryeowook sitting before him carried an air of solid confidence that he never knew he was capable of. His eyes twinkled in sincere happiness, in complete contentment. His whole being seemed to shine.
You look more beautiful than I’ve remembered, Kyuhyun wanted to say, but he stopped himself.
“So… what have you been doing after getting discharged from the army? I was surprised when you decided to leave the entertainment scene.” Kyuhyun recalled Ryeowook’s dream of being a singer-songwriter.
“Leaving wasn’t exactly easy,” Ryeowook said thoughtfully, propping his chin against the meat of his palm. “But I decided that I’m not cut out to survive in that complicated mess. Unlike you, Kyu.” Ryeowook smiled proudly. “Our maknae is doing so well on his own.”
“I still prefer the times when we were together. The loneliness can get unbearable sometimes,” Kyuhyun confessed for the first time since he had gone solo. He recalled all the times when all thirteen members of Super Junior shared the same glory. They were tired back then, but they were happy as well.
Ryeowook contemplated Kyuhyun for a moment. “It must be hard on you. But truthfully, I’m grateful that you stayed on.”
Kyuhyun looked at Ryeowook quizzically, temporarily distracted from the magnified vulnerability that had reared its ugly head.
“You’re the voice of Super Junior,” Ryeowook continued. “Now that the group has disbanded, your albums, your works, have become the bridge that connects the youngsters to the knowledge that we existed in the past. And because of you, Super Junior isn’t forgotten.”
A force tugged at the corner of his lips and warmth sparked within is chest, burning away the self-doubt that had been consistently plaguing him. Ryeowook’s peculiar insights never fail to work their magic on him, fueling him to continue even when all he wanted to do was to escape. This had never changed.
“Yesung hyung’s going to be mad if he hears you,” Kyuhyun commented.
“Let’s keep this between us then.” Ryeowook winked. That moment, Kyuhyun nearly believed that time hadn’t wedged a distance between them.
They were briefly interrupted when the shopkeeper served Ryeowook’s coffee. Before Ryeowook could do anything, Kyuhyun reached instinctively for the miniature jug of creamer and poured a generous amount into the cup. Ryeowook watched in baffled surprise as the creamer swirled and changed the coffee into a milky brown. Kyuhyun then drop three cubes of sugar into the cup.
It was only when their eyes met did Kyuhyun become conscious of what he had done. The actions came naturally, a reflection of their past.
He cleared his throat lightly. “You always like your coffee sweet, don’t you?”
“You still remember?” Ryeowook picked up the teaspoon and began to stir.
“How can I possibly forget after all the times we had spent together?” Kyuhyun replied before he could stop himself.
The imprudent words represented the never-ending longing he had for the man. Ryeowook glanced up at him, his lips pursed. He found himself anticipating as Ryeowook opened his mouth several times in an attempt of speech. Perhaps Ryeowook felt the same way; perhaps they could be reinstated as lovers.
Finally, Ryeowook surrendered and tipped his face down, breaking the lock of their gazes. The initial ebullience of their reunion was now replaced by a heavy silence. The tepid sunlight filtering through the glass highlighted the soft incline of Ryeowook’s nose and the prominent curve of his cheekbone. When Kyuhyun noticed the frown that marred the tender spot between Ryeowook’s eyebrows, he reprimanded himself for subjecting him to such predicament.
Kyuhyun drew the card out from his pocket and slid it across the table. “This is the invitation card for my wedding. It’s this Saturday.”
Ryeowook stiffened for a fraction of a second before he lifted the card for closer scrutiny. His fingers feathered over the cursive letterings of his name.
“I would love to attend it but I’m not going to be in Korea,” Ryeowook said apologetically. Before Kyuhyun could ask any questions, Ryeowook took a deep breath and continued. “I’m migrating to Italy. And I’m leaving on Friday.”
The revelation sent Kyuhyun into an agitated inner state of disbelief and panic. Several accusations, all revolving around the hurt that Ryeowook had chosen to only tell him now, invaded his head like an angry swarm of bees. He maintained his calm composure but his trembling fingers gave him away. He curled them into a fist.
“I’ve always like Italy. The sceneries and the uncanny tranquility of the towns; everything seem to speak to me.” Ryeowook said in nostalgia, looking up at the sky outside. “I’ll probably teach there, you know, as a piano teacher to little kids. They might be scary but I think they’ll be adorable too.”
Kyuhyun listened as Ryeowook sketched a portrait of a future he has no part in. His mind drifted off and wondered if Ryeowook was going alone. It was when he contemplated the ludicrous possibility of being a runaway groom, did he recall the man from just now.
“Are you going with him?” Kyuhyun interrupted suddenly, startling Ryeowook.
“Oh.” Ryeowook recovered from his confusion when he realized what Kyuhyun was talking about and he nodded. “His name is Alex. He’s half-Italian. You saw him just now.” A contented smile fleeted over Ryeowook’s lips at the mention of the man.
“I met him during the trip to Italy shortly after I had left the army. He was there, stuck in the gutter, yelling his lungs out to get somebody’s attention and I happened to pass by.” Ryeowook offered more information than what Kyuhyun would like to know. The laugh that followed was no longer music to Kyuhyun’s ears.
“Why him?” Kyuhyun’s voice was hoarse from the pain that was tearing him apart. It should be me.
“I don’t really know.” Ryeowook ran a hand through his fringe and settled into deep thought. “He just seems to make everything right. I feel both carefree and secured when I’m with him.”
“Ryeowook…” Kyuhyun latched onto the sudden burst of courage that was a measure of his desperation. “What would become of us if I didn’t let go of you? Would it be me then?”
“Kyu-” “What if now I tell you that I can forsake everything I’ve here just to be with you again?” Kyuhyun’s voice got stronger in force and volume with each syllable. “What if I tell you that I still love-“
“Kyuhyun, stop.” Ryeowook said loudly, his expression stern. Kyuhyun fell back into his chair, taking gulps of air to calm the inexorable waves that still raged within him.
“You don’t understand,” Kyuhyun muttered, looking anywhere but at the piercing eyes pinned upon him.
“Yes I don’t,” Ryeowook shot back sharply. “You just asked questions that you shouldn’t. Questions that I couldn’t and shouldn’t answer.”
“You don’t understand,” Kyuhyun repeated, fighting the mad urge to dissolve into tears. “You don’t understand how much our memories are torturing me, how much I fucking miss you. And I’ve no one to blame but myself.”
Ryeowook’s face softened with pity and poignancy. “Kyuhyun, we’re not young anymore. We can no longer use our age as an excuse for our recklessness. Think about your family, think about your wife. She must be an amazing woman for you to want to spend the rest of your life with her.”
Kyuhyun closed his eyes, shutting Ryeowook out. Ryeowook had changed in ways more than one. He was slowly morphing into a stranger with each passing second. He was no longer the boy who gave in to Kyuhyun’s stubbornness, nor was he the boy who was willing to dive heedlessly into a mess that defined their relationship. Ryeowook was right: they weren’t young anymore. He was the one still marooned by their past.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes when two crisp knocks on glass sounded. The man, Alex, stood on the other side of the glass, cradling a paper bag filled to the brim with groceries. He carried an easy charm, Kyuhyun noted. His green eyes, olive skin tone and sensually-shaped lips were evidences of his Italian heritage.
Alex acknowledged Kyuhyun with a congenial grin and out of manners, he nodded in return. Alex then turned to Ryeowook, breaking into a wide smile. With his thumb, he pointed at himself and then at their car. He smiled and walked back towards the car when Ryeowook gestured an ‘okay’.
“It’s time for me to leave. Alex’s waiting.” Ryeowook slid the invitation card into his pocket and rose from his seat. “Don’t worry; even if I can’t be there for your wedding, my present would be. It would be a real big one.” Ryeowook beamed, as though the outburst had not taken place.
When Ryeowook was about to take his leave, Kyuhyun jolted up from his seat, rounded the table and pulled Ryeowook into a bone-crushing hug. With his trembling body pressed against Ryeowook’s pliant one, he felt twenty once again. Ryeowook’s hands came up to embrace his back.
“Do you…” Kyuhyun swallowed the ball of tears clogged in his throat as he steadied himself to ask the question that had haunted him for years. “Do you hate me for being the one that gave us up?”
“Perhaps I had been angry at you for a while; but Kyu, I could never hate you.” Ryeowook’s silky hair brushed at his cheek, carrying with it a musky scent that Kyuhyun tried to memorize. “I still love you as a friend, a brother. I want nothing more than for you to be happy.”
“This is the last, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun pulled Ryeowook even closer to him, unwilling to believe that time could separate them this easily.
“It probably is,” Ryeowook whispered, his hand patting Kyuhyun’s back in what would be an oddly comforting rhythm if the hug wasn’t the last. “Kyuhyun, let’s not meet again, at least not until you’ve truly let go of everything. You already have someone else you need to commit to. Don’t let her down.”
Tears boiled under Kyuhyun’s eyelids and a few escaped, coursing down his cheek to find their spots on Ryeowook’s coat. “Then what about you? Have you let go of us?”
“I can now go to Italy without being torn apart by the deluge of memories of us there. I’ve moved on, and you should too.” Ryeowook pulled back from the hug and his hands reached up to caress Kyuhyun’s tears. Kyuhyun wondered how Ryeowook could be gentle and cruel at the same time.
Kyuhyun’s lips to wavered into a child-like but reassuring smile, enlightened by the notion that the only way for them to continue is for them to end. “I’ll call you when I’ve achieved that feat. When that time comes, you better fly to Korea to meet me. It won’t be too far into the future.”
“Definitely.” Ryeowook gave his shoulder an encouraging pat. “I should go now.” Ryeowook took a step back and picked his bag up, slinging it over his shoulder. He gave Kyuhyun a final wave before he turned to leave.
However Ryeowook halted when he was about to pull the door open, as if he had forgotten something. Kyuhyun killed the tiny bubbles of hope within him before they could rise to unjustified heights.
“Kyuhyun, please stay healthy always. Sleep early, drink less coffee and spend less time on your games.” Ryeowook’s smile dazzled him, as if a fulfillment of the request was the last Kyuhyun could do for him. And then he left.
But Kyuhyun did not tell Ryeowook that nowadays he slept at ten, that he had replaced his coffee regimen with tea, and that he was no longer enchanted by the virtual satisfaction Starcraft offered.
His eyes landed on the cup of coffee resting on the table top and realized that, despite the repeated strokes of stir, Ryeowook had not taken a sip of it.
Time is a horrifying cage that traps humans in an illusion, Kyuhyun thought. It tricks them into believing that everything is constant, that having played an important part in someone’s life equated to understanding them forever. Under the beguiling appearance of stagnancy lie the currents of change waiting to be discovered.
Both Ryeowook and him were victims. They failed to recognize that change had manifested through the minute details of their habits. That alarmed and pained Kyuhyun.
In their twenties, they had progressed from friends to lovers; but when thirties came, they had backtracked into mere acquaintances.
Kyuhyun watched until the car disappeared down the road, his heart echoing from the emptiness that had manifested. He clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sobs that arose from certainty that this meeting was their last.
He cried and cried, his whole being aching over the complete loss of someone who would soon become a stranger.
END
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A/N: My heart aches whenever the thought this could be a possible ending for them in real-life arises. It’s a long one-shot, probably boring too, but I’ve enjoyed writing it. Forgive me for the multiple grammatical errors. Thanks for reading.