Fic: Carry On
Title: Carry On
Warnings: Depression, drinking and cursing
Rating: PG-13 for cursing
Characters: McCoy/Jocelyn, Clay Treadway
Word Count: 1016
Author note: I'm writing this to try and figure out how I feel right now. Basically one of my good friends just told me he doesn't like me anymore and doesn't want to tell me why just that he doesn't, but he wants to stay friends with my husband. My husband was his friend first, and I'm an adult so I don't care. I'm sort of in shock, but I don't know how I really feel. Sort of numb. Lately I've been uber depressed and anxious and so I HAVE been different. He says I've changed in a way he doesn't like. Does he think I like feeling this way? IDFK anymore.
Len McCoy : Feel like getting a drink tonight?
msg sent at 16:12 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: No.
msg received at 16:18 on June10, 2257
Len McCoy: Why not? Is it Joce?
msg sent at 16:19 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadyway: No. It's you.
msg received at 16:25 on June 10, 2257
Len McCoy: I'm sorry? I don't know what I've done.
msg sent at 16:26 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: You've changed I don't like it. I'm trying to get some space from you.
msg received at 16:27 on June 10, 2257
Len McCoy: Well I'm sorry, and I don't really understand.
msg sent at 16:29 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: Don't say you're sorry. I'm not saying how I really feel because I want to stay friends with Joce.
msg received at 16:32 on June 10, 2257
Len looked at his comm in shock. His best friend, Clay, had just dropped a doozy on him.
Len McCoy: Okay, so we're done then?
msg sent at 16:34 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: Yes. Bye.
msg received at 16:37 on June10, 2257
So that was that then. Numb, Len went about removing Clay's contact from his comm and all their old messages back and forth with each other. There weren't many recent ones. Perhaps that was a clue in of itself. They weren't talking anymore.
"Len!" Joce called to him from the kitchen.
"In the den, Joce!" Len hollered back as he sat down his comm then picked it up again from his desk.
"Len, I'm going out with Clay and some friends from work. Do you want to join us tonight?" Joce asked as she appeared in the doorway of his den. She was dressed in a classy cocktail dress. Her red hair was up in an elaborate style he hadn't seen before and a clunky green gemerald necklace wrapped around her throat. Len guessed the necklace was supposed to be trendy, the gemeralds were quite a popular export from some new colony lately...
"Leonard!" Joce exclaimed in frustration, her pretty face pinched in an ugly frown. Her pink painted lips formed a sour moue.
"Sorry Joce, lost in my thoughts. I'm going to stay in tonight and have a drink." Len said as he stood from his desk chair and walked over to the stash of whiskey set about to pouring himself two fingers of Knobcreek. Keeping it neat he sipped the amber liquid and felt the tell-tale burn of good bourbon whiskey.
"You've been drinking a lot lately." He looked from his glass to his wife. She stood there looking sad and resigned. Her shoulders hunched and her dress shifted unflatteringly. "Clay's your best friend, surely you can stomach my colleagues for mine and his company?"
"Clay and I aren't friends anymore." Len groused almost under his breath and reached for his bottle of Knobcreek once more. His glass wasn't empty but suddenly he felt like he needed more bourbon.
"What do you mean Len? What did you do?" Joce asked with accusation in her voice. Len felt a flair of resentment in his chest at her tone.
"Like I fucking know Joce! I just texted him on my comm and he said he didn't want to be my friend anymore!" Len growled and threw his free hand out waving it pointedly in the direction of his comm.
"Well call him and apologize!" Joce pushed passed Len to retrieve his comm from the desk, flipping it open and tapping through the contacts. "He's not even in you're contacts! How could you give up so fast?"
"Because I'm a grown man. and when someone tells me they don't like me and don't want to talk to me I act like an adult and leave them the hell alone Joce!" Len glared at Joce as she began to pace, her heels clicking on the hardwood. The sound was more than just a little irritating. "Can you stop fucking clacking your heels so damn loud?" He growled finally unable to handle the noise. His hand clenched on his glass and liqour swirled dangerously close to the top.
"Oh so now you're going to growl at me Leonard? Someone doesn't want to be your friend so you take it out on your wife?" Joce stopped her pacing to corner Len. "You're so surly lately, you just need to apologize to Clay and move on!" She shouted in his face as she poked his chest with a well manicured pointer finger.
"I did apologize! He said for me to stop so I stopped! But don't worry Joce, he still wants to be friends with you!" Len yelled back but he didn't quite feel the ire. He didn't feel anything right now besides annoyance, however petulant, at his wife. Joce sighed and shook her head at him as she stepped back and gave him some breathing room.
"Whatever Leonard. I'll be back late, try not to drink too much." With that flippant remark Jocelyn walked out of the den and down the stairs. Her shoes clicking on each step before Len heard the jingle of keys and the slam of a door.
Taking a deep breath Len slowly inhaled and exhaled then sipped his bourbon. Ambling to his stereo he taped at the console while continuing to take occasional sips from his glass before finally deciding on an old blues rock band. Tenative strums of a guitar flowed from the surround sound speakers before a calm and raspy voice began to sing. Len moved back towards his desk as other instruments joined in the guitar and singer. Snatching up his bottle of chosen liquor he fell into his chair in a slump. The melancholy tune washing over him mind and body.
As Len closed his eyes to absorb the music, he wished that something would make him feel.
End.
*sigh* Still don't know how I feel. But I wrote something, which I haven't done in months. I don't even feel accomplished.
Warnings: Depression, drinking and cursing
Rating: PG-13 for cursing
Characters: McCoy/Jocelyn, Clay Treadway
Word Count: 1016
Author note: I'm writing this to try and figure out how I feel right now. Basically one of my good friends just told me he doesn't like me anymore and doesn't want to tell me why just that he doesn't, but he wants to stay friends with my husband. My husband was his friend first, and I'm an adult so I don't care. I'm sort of in shock, but I don't know how I really feel. Sort of numb. Lately I've been uber depressed and anxious and so I HAVE been different. He says I've changed in a way he doesn't like. Does he think I like feeling this way? IDFK anymore.
Len McCoy : Feel like getting a drink tonight?
msg sent at 16:12 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: No.
msg received at 16:18 on June10, 2257
Len McCoy: Why not? Is it Joce?
msg sent at 16:19 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadyway: No. It's you.
msg received at 16:25 on June 10, 2257
Len McCoy: I'm sorry? I don't know what I've done.
msg sent at 16:26 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: You've changed I don't like it. I'm trying to get some space from you.
msg received at 16:27 on June 10, 2257
Len McCoy: Well I'm sorry, and I don't really understand.
msg sent at 16:29 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: Don't say you're sorry. I'm not saying how I really feel because I want to stay friends with Joce.
msg received at 16:32 on June 10, 2257
Len looked at his comm in shock. His best friend, Clay, had just dropped a doozy on him.
Len McCoy: Okay, so we're done then?
msg sent at 16:34 on June 10, 2257
Clay Treadway: Yes. Bye.
msg received at 16:37 on June10, 2257
So that was that then. Numb, Len went about removing Clay's contact from his comm and all their old messages back and forth with each other. There weren't many recent ones. Perhaps that was a clue in of itself. They weren't talking anymore.
"Len!" Joce called to him from the kitchen.
"In the den, Joce!" Len hollered back as he sat down his comm then picked it up again from his desk.
"Len, I'm going out with Clay and some friends from work. Do you want to join us tonight?" Joce asked as she appeared in the doorway of his den. She was dressed in a classy cocktail dress. Her red hair was up in an elaborate style he hadn't seen before and a clunky green gemerald necklace wrapped around her throat. Len guessed the necklace was supposed to be trendy, the gemeralds were quite a popular export from some new colony lately...
"Leonard!" Joce exclaimed in frustration, her pretty face pinched in an ugly frown. Her pink painted lips formed a sour moue.
"Sorry Joce, lost in my thoughts. I'm going to stay in tonight and have a drink." Len said as he stood from his desk chair and walked over to the stash of whiskey set about to pouring himself two fingers of Knobcreek. Keeping it neat he sipped the amber liquid and felt the tell-tale burn of good bourbon whiskey.
"You've been drinking a lot lately." He looked from his glass to his wife. She stood there looking sad and resigned. Her shoulders hunched and her dress shifted unflatteringly. "Clay's your best friend, surely you can stomach my colleagues for mine and his company?"
"Clay and I aren't friends anymore." Len groused almost under his breath and reached for his bottle of Knobcreek once more. His glass wasn't empty but suddenly he felt like he needed more bourbon.
"What do you mean Len? What did you do?" Joce asked with accusation in her voice. Len felt a flair of resentment in his chest at her tone.
"Like I fucking know Joce! I just texted him on my comm and he said he didn't want to be my friend anymore!" Len growled and threw his free hand out waving it pointedly in the direction of his comm.
"Well call him and apologize!" Joce pushed passed Len to retrieve his comm from the desk, flipping it open and tapping through the contacts. "He's not even in you're contacts! How could you give up so fast?"
"Because I'm a grown man. and when someone tells me they don't like me and don't want to talk to me I act like an adult and leave them the hell alone Joce!" Len glared at Joce as she began to pace, her heels clicking on the hardwood. The sound was more than just a little irritating. "Can you stop fucking clacking your heels so damn loud?" He growled finally unable to handle the noise. His hand clenched on his glass and liqour swirled dangerously close to the top.
"Oh so now you're going to growl at me Leonard? Someone doesn't want to be your friend so you take it out on your wife?" Joce stopped her pacing to corner Len. "You're so surly lately, you just need to apologize to Clay and move on!" She shouted in his face as she poked his chest with a well manicured pointer finger.
"I did apologize! He said for me to stop so I stopped! But don't worry Joce, he still wants to be friends with you!" Len yelled back but he didn't quite feel the ire. He didn't feel anything right now besides annoyance, however petulant, at his wife. Joce sighed and shook her head at him as she stepped back and gave him some breathing room.
"Whatever Leonard. I'll be back late, try not to drink too much." With that flippant remark Jocelyn walked out of the den and down the stairs. Her shoes clicking on each step before Len heard the jingle of keys and the slam of a door.
Taking a deep breath Len slowly inhaled and exhaled then sipped his bourbon. Ambling to his stereo he taped at the console while continuing to take occasional sips from his glass before finally deciding on an old blues rock band. Tenative strums of a guitar flowed from the surround sound speakers before a calm and raspy voice began to sing. Len moved back towards his desk as other instruments joined in the guitar and singer. Snatching up his bottle of chosen liquor he fell into his chair in a slump. The melancholy tune washing over him mind and body.
As Len closed his eyes to absorb the music, he wished that something would make him feel.
End.
*sigh* Still don't know how I feel. But I wrote something, which I haven't done in months. I don't even feel accomplished.