(no subject)

Nov 18, 2002 05:56

so i just got out from taking a warm shower. god that was relaxing but tonight basically was, after all the bullshit i was able to talk to some people and unwind some, lately ive just been a big ball of nerves, and liable to go off at anyone. many people have witnessed this, but now im doing better. i was over christinas earliar tonight she went to bed and i sat around for awhile till i decided to get up and go home instead of spending the night. i dont know what made me get up and leave maybe it was the emptiness of being in a bed alone, and hearing her sleeping soundly from the other room, i tossed back and fourth for awhile before deciding sleep wasnt what i needed plus i had somethings on my mind that were prevented me from gettin much sleep either. finally i just got in my car and went home and decided to go take a shower.. a well needed one as i said before. so now im just sitting here at my computer too lazy to get dressed and in my towel sorta zoning in and out of things not able to sleep either....

so now im single again.. officially i ended things with christina tonight, we both realized i needed time to myself to figure things out and me jumping in and out of relationships wasnt going to do anything but stress me out more, and never let me realize what i needed in order to make a sucessful relationship work. i talked to her and hannah suprislying for awhile too.. which was sorta nice to keep things on good terms, even know im still extremely upset with her for posting the horrible things to christina that she did, i understand peoples feelings and why shed be so hurt, but in the end christina wasnt to blame for what was happening i was, she was an innocent victim that got attacked and hurt.. and if it wasnt for me.. maybe she wouldnt be feeling so bad.. christina im sorry that all happened to you.. you know im here whenever you need it. i also talked to spider for awhile, and id like to say thanks man for making me realize a lot, stuff that didnt make sense before but now does, its nice to know someone understands *shrugs*.. also i dont know what else to say, it seems everyone is having there barrel full of problems lately, but if anyone ever needs to talk.. you know my number, call up, come over whatever you need really im here for you. especially some of you have really shown me what true friends are in the last couple days..

well i decided that i better go get dressed and stop bein a lazy bum and maybe go do my hair too, so it doesnt look like utter shit. so im done updating for now.. hmm i dont know what else to say.. soo , erm.. later

-mark

edit: buffalo 66 would be a hot movie if that annoying actor did ruin it all *coughs* i forget his name right now.. vincent galo.. i think but he sucks, ahem alright im done now
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