Seduction War/Kyuhyun's Little Game
Okay, So this is the first fanfic I've written with more than two as main. It will end up with all fifteen of them at some point. It's not really a romance. Just purely perverted crack. So choose to ignore if you wish or read at your own risk. I hope you enjoy and do not get insulted/offended at some of the behaviours or ways we have presented some of the members. It is not true. This fanfic is purely from our imagination and fiction. I hope you enjoy. kehehehehehehehehe. We are creepy people. Our first collaboration. Saya19 and siin00. XD
Title: Kyuhyun's Little Idea
Authors: Say.sin0.0ah! (saya19 and siin00 )
Chapter: Prologue
Pairing: OT15 but those appear later on, some ninja ones in the beginning (not very big)
Genre: Crack. Truely Crack.
Rating: PG 15 (to be safe), will be varying in later chapters
Happy hunting it will be indeed…I will top the top of the chart…I wonder if he really is that difficult….
Prologue
“I’m bored.”
Kyuhyun glanced up from his laptop at the troubled magnae. He looked a bit awkward, chewing on the insides of his cheeks. There seemed to be something troubling him and it was unusual that Henry approach him for a “talk”. Normally, he’d talk to the hyungs but not today. Kyuhyun wondered what was on his mind. He looked at the boy expectantly.
“Ummmm…you and…Zhoumi do stuff…right?” Henry’s eyes fell to the floor. A little sheepish smiling playing on that pink face.
“What do you mean?” Kyuhyun asked in a normal voice, but the magnae couldn’t see the amusingly wicked grin already there.
“You know…like do…stuff…”
“Like what?”
“Like…do…it…” It was painfully said. There was squirming now. Hands were flapping slightly in the air.
“What? Games?” Kyuhyun played innocent with the least innocent expression he could make on that dark face.
“No!” Henry shouted in annoyance at his toying. “Do each other!”
Then Henry looked up and saw that devilish smile on Kyuhyun’s face. He looked away again, feeling very embarrassed at a knowing Kyuhyun. The stupid boy had already known what he meant. Henry should have known. He could feel himself burn through the silence.
“So…” He said when Kyuhyun didn’t reply.
“Yeah. Of course.” With a proud, cheeky smile on his face. He wasn’t paying attention to Henry anymore, a creepier smile on that face. He was…reflecting.
“Many times.” He added with a wider smile.
“I don’t need to know that.”
“Every other day.”
“Ew.”
“No, it’s very nice actually.”
“Whatever.”
Henry scrunched his face together, uninterested in the details of Kyuhyun’s sex life. He was afraid that Kyuhyun might not have the restraint to withhold him from certain knowledge. Kyuhyun was…in fact…very proud.
“What? Ryeowook holding out on you?” Kyuhyun teased. He had shut his laptop now and placed it on the bed beside him. He looked too happy.
“No.” Henry stated firmly. “Like we don’t do explicit stuff. I mean it’s not like…all…that boring.”
“But you’re bored.”
“I know. Just now. But Ryeowook.” His own little proud smile snuck out as he started thinking. “He can get feisty sometimes. I mean...he enjoys. No, we enjoy doing stuff. Just haven’t done…it…yet.”
“Feisty eh?” Kyuhyun was looking creepy again. Since Henry started talking, Kyuhyun had yet to stop looking creepy.
“Ermmm…yeah.” Henry was feeling uncomfortable again.
“So do you want me to do something about that?”
“Well…some advice would be nice.” Henry blushed. “You know, how to like set the mood.”
“What kind of a mood?”
“One that results in a…feisty Ryeowook.” Henry was shy again. “I like…him best like that.”
“I want to see that.”
“The problem is that every time I try, Ryeowook feels like we’re commiting a crime. Like I’ve kind of went a bit far before without his consent.”
Kyuhyun looked very interested.
“You see…I’ve liked tied Ryeowook up to the bed posts before…when he was…sleeping.” Then he exploded with guilt and rationalizations. His hands were waving much more frantically now. “I couldn’t help it! Helookedsotemptinglyvulnerable! He always does.”
Henry looked down, a bit ashamed.
“Yeah~~~” Kyuhyun was grinning with approval.
“But he kicked me.”
“Yeah~~~” Kyuhyun bit his lip. His mind was wandering out of the room.
“It didn’t…end well…”
“You’re only asking for help now?”
“Well, it only happened yesterday.”
“You’ve only tried to take him now?” Kyuhyun asked in mild disbelief and amazement. “How did you wait this long?”
“Well…Ryeowook resists.” Henry lifted his shirt up. Kyuhyun was impressed. He had secret muscles. Too secret. He pointed at a damaged ab. “That’s how I got this bruise. And this one. And this one. Here too. This one still hurts.”
“You’re not doing it right.”
“But I’m really trying!”
“Oh. No. The real problem is probably just that you guys haven’t had any experience to overcome the awkwardness.” Kyuhyun looked at him intensely. “At least, one of you guys should know what you’re doing.”
“I’ll do it!” Henry raised his hand swiftly in the air. “I will take on that responsibility!”
Donghae walked into Kyuhyun and Sungmin’s room. He looked from the creepily happy looking Kyuhyun to the much more diligent Henry. He kept watch over Henry, Kyuhyun’s happiness was growing more and more unbearable by the minute.
“What are you volunteering for?” Donghae chirped as he sat next to Henry, slinging one arm over the excited boy. “Can I help?”
There was clapping.
“Yeah, you can help too. The more the merrier it would be.” Kyuhyun was pleased.
“I’ll get everyone else.” And Donghae started off the bed.
“No!” Kyuhyun screamed at a frightened Donghae, as he knew better and retreated back onto the bed beside an equally fearful Henry. “I mean, it’s not fun if everyone joins in…at the beginning.”
“Oh. Okay.” They were looking very obedient.
“I have a solution.” Kyuhyun turned to Henry, who looked up admiringly at Kyuhyun. “Let’s play a game.
They heard quiet footsteps at the door so Kyuhyun paused. But there was no sign of human movement and so he continued.
“A fun game. One that requires participation from others as well.”
“Okay!” They both lit up.
“Henry wants to strengthen his relationship with Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun was pleased by the compliant nodding of Donghae’s head. “So I think that it’s best that Henry train himself for the strengthening. And that help should be sought from the already experienced hyungs.”
“Oh what does he need help with?” Donghae cried helpfully. “I’m sure I can help.”
“Sex.”
“Oh! That’s all. Okay.”
“Yeah, the thing is Henry would feel weird if he played the game by himself so that’s why he needs our help. Healthy competition.”
They kept nodding.
“Okay. So I’ll explain the game now. A very important step to sex is the seduction. So what we’ll do is each day, you pick a person and you just go for it. Forget about your boyfriend, you’re only helping them by you know…experiencing the other new challenges presented before you. So whenever you successfully seduce, that includes sex, you gain points but… there’s a catch in the game too. Not everyone is worth the same amount. I mean, Heechul’s a bit easy, don’t you think?”
They looked unaware of this fact.
“Oh…so it’s just me. But anyways, so I was thinking there would a point system for the difficulty level of each member. Some members are harder than others. And Henry, if you wanted to train, you need to go after the toughies. So you’ll want to go after like Siwon or…Shindong…at some point. But of course, not right away, you need to try for some of the weaker prey out there and level up.”
“Is there a prize since we’re competing?” Donghae asked, more interested in the prize than the act of planned sex.
“Of course, there will be a prize.” Kyuhyun gave a wickedly lovely grin. “A very good one. One of a kind. Top of the line. Prize. Oh and one more thing, it’s not just sex, you have to top to win.”
There was a crash and a muscular figure ripped the door open. Someone grunted.
“I’m in.”
They stared at the spectator that had been hidden behind the door for some time. Kyuhyun had thought it weird when the footsteps didn’t recede but he had been too excited to stop. Now, they were looking at a very enthusiastic man. It was Kangin.
“I always top. No one tops me.” There was a very strangely weird and knowing smile on his face.
“Ryeowook’s a 1!” Henry looked away fearfully. He was afraid of Kangin and what he could do to Ryeowook. That wasn’t a pleasant thought.
“Eunhyuk’s 0!” Donghae cried almost at the same time.
“I’ll do the point system. I’ll take care of it. Just remember, you guys, being the amateurs, minus Kangin, begin with the easy ones.”
“Well, Ryeowook’s a one. I should try him first.” Henry considered thoughtfully.
“Eunhyuk!” Donghae screamed in delight. “Nothing’s easier than a 0.”
“Don’t worry, you guys. The point system’s already taken care of.”
Kyuhyun pulls out a big chart with lots of details. All fifteen member’s names, physical properties, characteristics, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, prop preferences, fantasies, fetishes, hidden desires and others were written in a slot underneath each name. The names read in order of difficulty and similarily, there was less collected data on the people on top. There were a few complaints on the values of some members but Kyuhyun quickly stopped them.
“Don’t complain. I’ve worked hard on this.” He scolded.
“But Ryeowook’s so high and tempting; Kangin’s going to destroy him.” Henry whined as Kangin winked at him.
“Why am I so low?” Donghae questioned with a little tilt of his head and a frown.
“You know.” Kangin replied with another wink.
“Oh~~~ yeah~~~” Donghae was reminded of stuff.
“Why is Ryeowook so high up?” Kangin asked.
“Because he’s not easy.” Henry said defensively.
“I’m the top of the toppers. Why should I have to share my spot with someone else? If I top everyone else, no one can top me.”
“Take a look at the comment I put for you.”
“Yeah~~~Submission~~~” He grunted.
“This is statistically accurate data with a few calculations made through observations and experiments and logical reasoning. Stop doubting.” Kyuhyun said authoritatively and they believed.
They looked the descriptive chart over studiously, each planning. Kangin, studied which to prey on first for a good and strong lead. Donghae and Henry cried with delight when they fit one or more of the preferences listed on a member’s profiles. They were given some amount of time to make their choices wisely and plan in advance.
“Just to let you know, this chart is be updated daily with new founded information on members. And if someone defends himself, that person will gain point worth but different from sex points. Otherwise, if that person relents, they will lose points for being so easy.”
Donghae raised his arm tentatively, looking worried, “Is it possible to be negative?”
“What are you planning? Okay, the lowest you can get is 1/2 and hopefully, you can maintain that status. Or that says something about you.”
“Not a bad thing.” Kangin murmured quickly in a deep manly voice.
“Oh. I’m not worried about myself. I’m worried about Hyukjae.”
“A couple more things, you have to report to me your successes or failures.” He turns to Donghae. “I’ll know if you’re lying, Donghae.”
“Fine.” He sighs. “I’ll play fair.”
“And try to, or let’s make it, you must only do a person at most once. So once, that person’s done with, you have to change.”
Donghae whined very obviously.
“Fine. Donghae, you can go back to Eunhyuk as much as you want but he won’t be happy with his value.”
“He’ll make him happy or I will.” Kangin grinned with implications.
“No. You stay away from him. His points will be low enough without your help.” Donghae scowled in cute fierceness.
“And Ryeowook!” Henry added forcefully.
“You guys only have to put up with Kangin for ten days.”
“Ten days!” Henry cried in horror.
“Only ten days?” Donghae cried in horror.
“Yes, this game will only last for ten days. So you guys want to make the most of your time. Use your time well and efficiently.”
“Fine.” Kangin grumbled. “I will.”
“Okay, so I know you guys are excited about this.” Kyuhyun said excitedly. “Let’s pick our people. Everyone, write down your choice on a piece of paper with reasoning. I can use that for more data.”
They obeyed.
“Okay, give them to me and I’ll take a look. As an experienced one, I will try to avoid your choices or act accordingly so that I will not interfere with your strengthening.”
They handed the pieces of paper.
“Okay, so Round 1 will commence tomorrow. Everyone, think about it for a little, plan it out, Plan A, B, C…”
“and F.” Kangin added in a grunt.
“Get a good night’s worth of sleep. You need your energy. I wish us all the best of luck. May the best topper win.”
They talked a little more and then decided, it was getting late and they still had lots of planning to do. Kangin had jumped from Plan A straight to Plan F. In fact, all his plans were Plan F’s. Henry and Donghae took note of this from an experienced one. Kyuhyun was thinking on his own, a creepy smile conquering his creepy face.
“One more thing, before you guys leave, make sure you guys observe us.” Kyuhyun pointed at himself and Kangin, “the masters, so you guys can learn and learn well and learn lots. So don’t feel bad if you guys don’t earn nearly as many points as we do. Good night all. Happy dreaming.”
The others left Kyuhyun alone. He sat on his bed, leaned his elbows on his knees and fiddled his fingers against each others. He thought to himself, looked over the choices one more time, then at the chart for a certain person’s information. Secretly, Kyuhyun had been curious about the person for a while and so this was the perfect opportunity. He would seize it.
Happy hunting it will be indeed…I will top the top of the chart…I wonder if he really is that difficult….
Name Points
Shindong 11 (Not advised to attempt)
Siwon 10 (Don’t try this at home)
Kangin 10 (Submit - Caution - Resistance is futile/harmful)
Ryeowook 9 (Be aware of repercussions of committing a crime)
Kibum 8 (Touch his heart/him)
Hankyung 7 (If you ask nicely)
Yesung 6 (On a good day)
Henry 5 (Prey on his curiosity)
Sungmin 4 (When he’s in the mood - often)
Kyuhyun 3 (Never hurts to try)
Leeteuk 2 (Beware of Kangin)
Zhoumi 2 (Mine - but you can try him)
Donghae 1 (Anything works)
Eunhyuk 1 (Partner in crime ^)
Heechul ½ (Good anywhere, anytime, anyplace - call him up)
I hope you guys enjoyed and laughed a lot like we did when we made it. So embarassed >.< At how creepy we were at making this. OMG. O////////O
Night.