Words That Make Or Break The Day
Omg. I'm so tired. But I wanted to make this because I've delayed it for so long. Sorry. This is for bluefireflies . Sorry this took so long. Been busy. But done now. I hope you like it. Glad I got this posted. It's inspired by Kyuhyun's informal snarky playerish letters from Intimate Note. I love him there. So funny. Well, not to Ryeowook. LOL. Didn't edit as usual. I do not own anyone in this story. It is purely based on fictional imagination. Enjoy.
Title: Words That Make Or Break My Day (Oneshot)
Genre: Fluff (mostly)
Pairing: Kyuwook...
"When you say I’m yours, that doesn’t mean that you’re mine..."
Words That Make Or Break The Day
Ryeowook was jealous. That was certain because he could feel something burn in his chest as he watched a too happy looking Kyuhyun. It had upset him when he heard those messages being read out, Kyuhyun freely declaring his love for all of his hyungs. The first one had been the worst because he had always been a little doubtful of Kyuhyun and Sungmin. They were already close and when Sungmin slipped his arms over Kyuhyun’s shoulders during the reading, Ryeowook felt something flip angrily behind his chest. He hadn’t known which one to punch first, Kyuhyun or Sungmin or both. And fueling his burning anger, Sungmin had laughed at the line…
Also, you are mine. Don’t give your heart to anyone else…
He wondered how Kyuhyun could say those words to someone else so easily. They were words that Ryeowook had remembered so often Kyuhyun whispering to him. When it was late at night and they were lying on their own beds, talking quietly so others would not wake from their talk. Kyuhyun had often murmured those exact sweet words and Ryeowook had believed them and committed to them, blushing in embarrassment but also of happiness, safely in the dark, hidden from Kyuhyun’s sight.
And at first, it had been awkward to hear them but Kyuhyun had been persistently sappy. He continued to tell him those words every other night as if to remind Ryeowook and he never did forgot. He didn’t. Ryeowook stayed true to that request and now, he felt a little bit of heartbreak, seeing that Kyuhyun was not as devoted as he was. And because it was Sungmin, it had caused him to be more insecure. And he didn’t like that.
Ryeowook remained silently furious, feuding in his head while he watched the other letters continue, each one with another painfully sweet and familiar phrase. He could feel his heart try to burst out of his chest, as if wanting to attack Kyuhyun but he placed his hand over the beat and willed it to rest. Ryeowook wanted a rest. However, the next string of statements provoked it more and him more.
To be honest, I’m upset about this. Because you’re mine. I can’t stand seeing you talk to other men.
He remembered that one day clearly. After seeing Yesung and Ryeowook talk intimately, Kyuhyun had practically cornered him against the wall of their shared room. Ryeowook had remembered seeing the intense look in the other’s dark smoldering eyes. Those lips were drawn into a tight line and they were a bit white. His breath had caught as Kyuhyun continued that steady gaze, making Ryeowook a little uncomfortable but at the same time, curious and hopeful of what was to happen. That wonderful and painful uncertainty.
Two hands were placed against the wall beside Ryeowook’s head as he leaned in a bit, resting their foreheads together. Ryeowook’s skin heated in response to the touch. But Kyuhyun drew his face back a little, giving Ryeowook some sort of relief and breath again. He could still see the curls of dark eyelashes clearly. Those eyes contained dark anger, brooding quietly. Ryeowook couldn’t pull himself away from the stare. Kyuhyun had been so entrancing. But too quickly, Kyuhyun dropped his head and gave a little laugh, almost sad and worried despite being a laugh. He shook his head. It surprised Ryeowook quite a bit, the sudden change of emotions but it hadn’t helped him relax much until the next moment. That’s when that was said. And Ryeowook melted into a puddle of happiness.
You are mine. Don’t give your heart to anyone else. You are only allowed to look at me.
This line was similar to the other previous one but it had great significance as well. This one occurred after Ryeowook began nurturing the youngest member of their sub group. Kyuhyun had been the baby and was the baby in their thirteen member group but when it came to the M promotions, there was a new one. And while Kyuhyun wasn’t the jealous type, or was rather a silent one, he wasn’t pleased at all the attention the eternal magnae was giving Mochi. His was now being shared by an attention eating Henry. Yet, he really couldn’t do much about Ryeowook’s ever caring nature. It was part of the reason why Kyuhyun loved him.
However, one day, Kyuhyun didn’t want to think of it anymore. He ignored Ryeowook for the day, causing his roommate to tilt his head in confusion, too cute to be unnoticed but he somehow managed on. At night, it was silent and Ryeowook had slipped over to Kyuhyun’s side of the room. And the worried boy whispered questions of concern, insistent of an answer. And Ryeowook watched the silent turned back for a long time before the latter gave in. Kyuhyun reached behind him blindly but still caught Ryeowook’s sleeve and pulled him on the bed. Then turned around and facing Ryeowook fully, he finally looked at him. Their faces so close in the slight night of the room that they could only see each other. And he had been hesitant at first, searching for words but gave up and at once, he breathed out all the worries in his mind. In those words. Simply. Kyuhyun’s feelings. Jealousy. Unhappiness. Pain. Need. It all came out. He opened up.
I think you’re interesting. You have the personality I like.
Ryeowook could hardly stop his face from freezing in shock when he heard this. Because this was something solely his. Theirs. It didn’t involve anyone else like the last two quotes had. But Kyuhyun now, had repeated that. And to someone else. Ryeowook wondered how Kyuhyun could even think of repeating those words.
It was the first time Kyuhyun had really confessed to him. Though it wasn’t much of a confession or at least one Ryeowook would consider because it wasn’t practiced or anything. Although, it was still telling the other their feelings. Oh he didn’t know anymore. And it didn’t matter. It had been intense and a light smile on the giver’s face that it froze Ryeowook. He had been chatting quite excitedly with an amused Kyuhyun who, as usual took to staring and listening as they sat on their beds. Kyuhyun had his chin perched on the base of his hand as it perched on his crossed leg. Kyuhyun was looking very much like a handsome Adonis. If Adonis had been Asian, Kyuhyun would have been the living reincarnation.
And he kept watch on the chirpy roommate though, something light was dancing smoothly behind his dark eyes. Some thought Ryeowook couldn’t figure out. As Ryeowook reached the climax of his story, Kyuhyun opened that proud, confident, arrogantly handsome mouth of his. That’s when that came out. So random. So wonderful. So randomly wonderful. So wonderfully random. And Ryeowook lost all train of thought after that as he stared, wide eyed and wide mouth, in warm pink surprise. And remained that way for the remainder of the night.
Sure, it was all for fan service but it still pained Ryeowook inside, those words for him were not only his anymore. Now Sungmin, Kangin, Heechul and Eunhyuk all had a piece of him. A piece of them. It was that his loving lines were being thrown out there for others to take in. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right at all. And Ryeowook hadn’t planned on being upset like this but darn, that boy had charm. He had amazing charm. Charm that had kept Ryeowook up late at night, late in the morning and always anticipating for the next words to slip from those lips. And more so, somewhere along those long nights, Kyuhyun had managed to sweet talk Ryeowook into falling in love. Those words came with a gentle and, what he had thought to be a sincere smile as well, making him fall harder. However, seeing how simple it was for him to deliver those words to his hyungs then had confused Ryeowook. He was no longer sure if Kyuhyun had been sincere.
However the laughter that rang at his ears now made him feel sick and white. He could feel himself tensing up inside, everything feeling tight. He followed along with the laughter as well, not wanting to give his fans any sign of apprehension. So Ryeowook made sure his face was bright and happy and to the viewer’s liking. His fellow members laughed and smiled at Kyuhyun’s flirtiness and made fun of the boy. Ryeowook tried to do that as well but words couldn’t manage to escape because they weren’t the ones he wanted to evoke.
And too suddenly, Kyuhyun’s smiling eyes met his during all the maniacal noises. It shocked him a bit, to see Kyuhyun so light hearted on this matter when it was tearing Ryeowook to bits. His face couldn’t help but to freeze at that moment and he felt his expression stiffen even if it was still a smile. Light glazing over his eyes. Kyuhyun still in his sight. They looked at each other, neither willing to change that happy expression on their face until some comment broke their stare and Ryeowook’s face started working again, remembering the duty it had been given. They didn’t look at each other again for the remainder of the show.
He walked slowly into their room. Ryeowook had already walked in and started settling for bed. Kyuhyun watched the silent boy changing into his pajamas calmly. Normally, Kyuhyun was asked to leave for a second or at least to turn away. And during that time, Kyuhyun would always peek by a mirror and when Ryeowook caught him, he’d get a light beating by the boy as he would grab hold onto those arms and catch them still so they were in some sort of awkward yet still an embrace for a few seconds. Ryeowook would suddenly stop complaining or scolding and turn red, wiggling his arms about to escape. Kyuhyun laughed.
However today, Ryeowook hardly even gave him a glance. Kyuhyun was free to watch if he’d like to and as much as he wanted to, this wasn’t the right mood. It wasn’t enjoyable in the dead cold silence. The boy quickly slipped under his sheets and turned his back to Kyuhyun as the latter stepped over to the bed and weight sunk it a bit. Ryeowook pulled the sheets closer around his body as it shrunk smaller, the legs drawing away from where Kyuhyun had placed his hand near.
“Ryeowook….” Kyuhyun’s arm slid along the sheets and he leaned over the huddling body so he could see the straight line of the other’s nose. Ryeowook was still awake.
No response.
“Ryeowook.”
Nothing.
“Hey.”
Silence.
“Yah.” Kyuhyun shook a leg and it thrashed about, removing Kyuhyun’s hand.
“Go away.”
“Come on. Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun pleaded in a soft voice. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t want to hear your words.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
“I don’t like words.”
“Why?”
“Because they don’t mean much.” Ryeowook pulled the covers over his head, to hide himself.
“Ryeowook…come back.” Kyuhyun laid his body horizontally over Ryeowook’s. His face facing a covered lump, presumably Ryeowook’s face.
“I said go away.”
“No, I won’t go away.” Kyuhyun said firmly, “Not until you talk to me. Ryeowook, let’s talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“Stop saying that when you know that you really do.”
“I don’t.” His voice was slightly muffled.
“But you do and I know you. You have a lot to say about today.”
“What the hell do you know about what I have to say?” The outburst lost some of its effect under the sheets. It was hardly as threatening talking to a blanket.
“Come on. Ryeowook, let it out.”
Silence.
“Fine. Then I’ll talk. I’m sorry. I know I’ve made you upset.”
“There’s nothing to be upset over!”
“I said some things that I shouldn’t have said-”
“That’s right you shouldn’t have.” The lump withdrew a little.
“But you have to know why I said all of that.” Kyuhyun paused, waiting for Ryeowook to ask something but he didn’t. “I did it because I was jealous.”
“So you go and tell all of the hyungs all the things you’ve told me. You tell them that you love them and that they’re all yours and that you want to be with them and that…” The blankets moved slightly, shoulders shaking.
“No, I didn’t tell them. I wrote it down. And there’s a difference in that because…I…really…I just couldn’t say it to them. I really couldn’t. Probably can’t even mutter past three words because those words are for you. And I know that I wrote it down and that they all received them but believe me…Ryeowook…believe me when I say that they don’t mean much.”
“But what you said to me…also doesn’t have to mean much.” The blanket stopped moving.
“No…” Kyuhyun pleaded and pleaded sincerely. “But it does. It does and now, that I’ve done such a stupid thing, I don’t know how to fix this. I…I…want to though…I do. I do. I do. I’m sorry.”
Kyuhyun leaned forward and without a definite target, he pressed his face against the lump. And at that proximity, he was able to figure out the little, more prominent features of Ryeowook’s face like his nose. Kyuhyun placed little kisses down it and his arms reached over the body when Ryeowook tried to pull away.
“Kyuhyun. You can’t expect to make it all better again by kissing me. You can’t make it better by just talking again. I don’t know. But I want to. I want to know.” Ryeowook pulled his head out from the blanket to look into the melting eyes of Kyuhyun. “I just…when you say that I’m yours. I really am. I am yours. All yours. I have been for a long time. And you might’ve known that for a while now. But today, I’ve realized something. When you say I’m yours, that doesn’t mean that you’re mine.”
“But I am.”
“But I still…I don’t know that and you’ve never said it before, though you are now, but then again, you said all of those things to them as well and I…I’m just confused and I don’t know. I don’t know that I can. I did before or I thought I did but it was too much. I’m tired.”
“Ryeowook…” Kyuhyun breathed on the other’s face. “I’m sorry. I really do mean it. I mean this. I mean you. You mean a lot to me. And everything in the past, all the things I’ve said. I’ve really meant. Oh. Maybe except for a few.”
Ryeowook looked up at him intensely.
“Well, like when you cooked that new dish for us. I forget what it’s called. I said that I liked it but…ahah…I really think…maybe you should stick to your old cooking.”
“Now you’ll confess your wrong doings!” Ryeowook rolled his eyes.
“Yes.” Kyuhyun chuckled. “Better now?”
“Maybe.” Ryeowook squeezed his eyes together. “Too early to tell.”
“Ryeowook…” Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around Ryeowook even tighter. “I know you might not believe now but I’m going to say it anyways. Because I mean it. I do.”
Silence.
“Ryeowook. I’m sorry. What I wrote down purely came out of anger and I just contained myself so I picked a few of your favourite quotes and wrote them. I wasn’t thinking straight. I just knew that I was upset and so I guess…I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
“No. I believe that you’re sorry.”
“And I don’t think I’ve told you this before but I will now because I should and I’m ready so here goes…Listen well.”
Ryeowook felt nervous.
“As much as you are mine...” Kyuhyun gave a wonderful smile. “I am as much yours.”
Ryeowook laughed in delight and because he wanted to believe words. He did because he wanted to. He really did.
“You better be.”
They laughed. And Kyuhyun pulled the little lump closer to him as he pressed his cheek against the other’s forehead, feeling the soft hair brush over his skin and he inhaled. Ryeowook wiggled a bit, closing in on Kyuhyun. He felt very comfortable in that embrace. It was an embrace that he wanted. He wanted it for a long time.
“Hey?”
“Yeah?”
“Why were you jealous?” Ryeowook looked up at Kyuhyun, who drew a finger down his cheek.
“Well…this is going to sound stupid.” Kyuhyun smiled sheepishly and looked at his finger, sliding along the smooth skin. “But I got jealous of what you said to Eunhyuk.”
“What did I say.”
They both recalled the sweet voice.
Hyung saranghae~~~
“Oh. Really? Just that?”
“Well, that was part of it and you’re working with Leeteuk instead of me. But mostly, I don’t like it when you say that to the other members.”
“But I say it all the time.”
“Yeah, but when you say it on air, it feels worse. I don’t like that because then everyone has to know. And everyone will hear that it’s not for me. And I don’t like that because as I said, you’re mine. Ryeowook, you’re mine.”
“Hey. So are you mine. Don’t forget that too. And seriously. That’s so little. I can’t believe you got upset over something that small.” Ryeowook pouted. “What you did was worse.”
“You might not know but I’m the quite jealous kind of type. For you. I am.”
“Yeah. I should have realized.” Ryeowook smiled at Kyuhyun. “It’s still stupid.”
“Whatever.” Kyuhyun’s grip around that body, tightened and he kissed Ryeowook’s forehead. He heard and felt Ryeowook give a big yawn and he smiled. “Time for bed. It’s been a busy day.”
“Stressful too.”
“Right.”
“Okay. One more question.” Ryeowook mummured. He was already falling asleep though.
“But you’re sleepy.”
“One…more…”
“Fine.”
“How did you know those were some of my favourites?” Ryeowook paused as he slipped between consciousness and blackness. He yawned again. “It was quite…accurate.”
“Oh. That. Well, I just guessed. I can tell from your facial expressions usually. I mean those are some of my favourites too but not my favourite.”
“What…is…”
“You want to know?”
Kyuhyun felt a nod as the head bobbed a bit beside his face.
“I don’t really have a favourite. Until now. Well just wait for it I guess.”
Kyuhyun smiled.
“Kim Ryeowook, I love you.”
And the boy was already sleeping. Kyuhyun had already known that but he wanted to say it anyways and perhaps, it was best for Ryeowook to be asleep right now. Because the next time, he’d say it properly and it would be ten times better. But as of now, that was sufficient for him. Those words were enough and though words had caused him trouble to begin with. It also repaired the day. Words that make or break the day.
Kyuhyun pressed his lips gently against Ryeowooks. It was their first time and Ryeowook would probably be upset that he missed it too. And it had been too long for this kiss. It had been to long that he’s wanted it. Now he got it and it was more than…everything. It was simple. It was wonderful. It was simply wonderful. Quietly, Kyuhyun lifted the covers and pulled them over the two. He snuggled up next to the sleeping boy.
“Hey. Ryeowook. Do you love me too?”
He felt little arms cross over his body and press him against the sleepy one. The face sort of tumbled forward a bit but eventually reached Kyuhyun’s. Another light kiss. Ryeowook pulled back a little but slid his cheek next to Kyuhyun’s.
The boy nodded.
Yeah. The two parts are different because the first part is mostly narration and Ryeowook's feelings and the second is just conversation. Not sure if I like the conversation as much. But oh wells. >.<. I hoped this doesn't seem rushed and that you enjoyed. I liked the prompt though. Okay, hope you like this. Especially bluefireflies~~~~ Sorry it took so long. >.<