The Fourth Mistake Part 1
Title: I'll Give You One Half Of Me But The Other Is For You To Find...And It's Been With You All This Time/The Fourth Mistake (since the first title is too long)
Part: One
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Ryeowook (main), three others later
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryeowook's made three mistakes in his life and his fourth one might be the best or worse mistake of his life.
A/N: Hey it's been a while and I'm sorry I haven't been able to finish my other stuff but I write on a whim and it's getting harder for me to write these days but while I've got this done this far, I'll post it. Didn't edit. Wrote it spontaneously a while ago. Sorry if it disappoints..
Thankfully, it’s not glass but made of that thin cheap kind of plastic so it just bounces off, dented. Kind of like last night, full of cheap touches, cheap cheap kisses, and, cheap and fragile, wandering feelings in a cheap hotel. Yet with a forceful blow like this, somehow they came out dented. Of course, it was a cheap love.
I’ll Give You One Half Of Me But The Other Is For You To Find…
And It’s Been With You All This Time
Ryeowook woke up with a fuzzy feeling cluttering in the back of his head. His eyes fluttered open to meet the blaring white that penetrated the back of his mind with a roll of his eyes. A low groan escaped his throat as he slumped back down onto such comfy surface. His eyes shut again to squeeze out the orange spots and when he felt the light dancing up his arm, he rolled away from the those tender touches. A small warm breeze rolled up his face. Ryeowook snuggled up a little closer, breathing it all in before realizing that he had turned away from the window and it probably wasn’t open anyways.
Sleepy eyes peeked open to inspect but soon grew wide with surprise and confusion. It was moments like that where the boy kept staring at his companion. It was one of those moments when you didn’t really know what you saw but you knew what you felt. And you felt wonder mixed in with some comfusion and some other things. Ryeowook blamed it on the heavy pounding in his head. With quick shuffling of his legs, the boy fell back off the bed and onto the ground, stealing plentiful of the blanket for a soft landing.
Kyuhyun…
And almost as if the sleeping boy could hear the soft whisper of a thought, a slow smile spread his lips. Ryeowook gripped the sheets around him tighter. Then those dark eyes slowly opened to the sight of the boy, with an almost hurt and perplexed look that immediately wiped the smile off his face. A long arm placed itself along the now frowning face as his chin rested on top of his bicep. They stared at each other in silence. Kyuhyun, being that there was nothing he wanted to say, and Ryeowook, with too much to say. Those dark eyes trailed down from Ryeowook’s face and for the first time, he had realized that he wasn’t dressed. At all.
“Stop looking.” Ryeowook folded the sheets around his bare shoulders.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you before.” Kyuhyun scoffed, stretching his arms behind his head with a big yawn.
“Well, this is different.”
“Why is this different?”
“Because we had sex.”
There was a long silence in the room, neither one of them breaking the hard gazes they were giving each other. Kyuhyun gave a tired sigh as he got up from the bed. The blanket fell from his body which instantly turned Ryeowook’s head away. This obviously did not go unnoticed by the tall boy.
“It’s not like you haven’t seen me either. So why does it matter if we did it?”
“It’s not the same. You’re my friend. I’ve never thought of you that way.” Ryeowook heard shuffling and presumed that it was clothing being put on.
“Okay.”
“I just…don’t have sex with just anyone or friends...”
“So what does that make me now?”
“You’re still my friend.” A mere whisper.
The little scuffles quieted down as did this topic. Ryeowook felt the tug of the blanket off his shoulder. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed?”
“I thought you weren’t looking.”
“I’m not. I didn’t hear a belt buckle.”
“I wanted to fold the sheets.” Kyuhyun improvised on the spot, sounding a bit dejected.
“Now?” Ryeowook asked incredulously, wondering if this was a very misplaced awkward joke of Kyuhyun’s or something else he couldn’t quite place yet.
“Yes.”
“That’s not your job. It’s the maid’s.” Ryeowook retorted and pulled the soft material back. “Plus, I’d like to be dressed before you see me.”
Kyuhyun gave a little shake of his head and stretched upwards. His long torso elongating even more with the movement and it almost made Ryeowook worry to see the little bones jutting out when he did this. However, he didn’t say anything about it. And of course Ryeowook knew this because he couldn’t help but secretly peep from the corner of his eyes. Mind you that he was only looking at the upper half. Kyuhyun turned his head almost as quickly as those eyes flickered back, unnoticed.
“Well, you weren’t like this yesterday.”
“Yesterday was different. So is today.”
“But I’m not different.” Kyuhyun reasoned, not understanding.
He grabbed his clothes and wandered off to the washroom. Ryeowook waited a moment before rising from his covers and wandering to where his clothes lay scattered in different areas of the room. And with each piece he picks up, Ryeowook felt like his heart was cracking inside of him. There are a lot of things Ryeowook doesn’t get like the way Kyuhyun’s acting right now. He’s always been a little quiet and reserved and even grumpy but rarely ever angry.
He doesn’t understand why it’s happened and he doesn’t know what will happen because everything feels different to him but yet Kyuhyun…is still a friend. It’s all that he’s ever really known in this life.
Kyuhyun is a friend.
So it was his responsibility to clear it up and maintain his world from crumbling to pieces before him. Right now, his peace of mind is hovering in thick clouds because his emotions are all mystified from this event and Ryeowook doesn’t like this. The only thing that steals him away from the fog is the sound of Kyuhyun spitting soundly into the sink and he only ever does it that loudly when he’s grumpy or slightly upset about something. Ryeowook smiles. Rarely does the boy in Kyuhyun appear.
It’s something very worthy of saving.
So as he finally slides his legs into his pants and secures his belt around his waist, Ryeowook teeters after where Kyuhyun had gone. He taps on the door where sounds of vicious scrubbing are flowing past the solid wood. The taps gets a little louder and it quiets down before the knob turns and he can see the boy’s unhappy expression. Of course, Kyuhyun’s still shirtless with his damp brown hair creating streams down his neck. He’s also lean and long and that one long arm is stretched straight with a hand against the sink, strips of muscles clearly prominent. Ryeowook feels himself getting distracted but stops himself. The other strong arm is shaking so hard as he continues brushing again.
“Don’t do that. You’ll hurt your gums.” Ryeowook wants to say yourself as his hand rests on an elbow. It slips off when Kyuhyun brushes even faster, foam bubbling more around his mouth. Everything feels different.
“Okay…I’m sorry.”
Kyuhyun leaves the toothbrush hanging in his mouth as both hands grip the sink tightly. Ryeowook can see the muscles flex subtly as Kyuhyun stares intensely at him from the mirror.
“About what?”
“Last night…I shouldn’t have done that.” Ryeowook looks down at the floor because looking at Kyuhyun right now is proving to be very difficult with his heart tightening in his chest. “It wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have thrown myself onto you.”
Ryeowook remembers snippets of the night before. They were out in a club drinking with a couple of friends. He had a little too much to drink and Kyuhyun was so close. The boy was always by his side. Ryeowook was known to drink. Then he remembered something.
“You didn’t stop me.” Ryeowook tilts his head, meeting the other’s black eyes. “You can hold your liquor but you didn’t stop me.” A thought formed inside his head. It’s a thought that’s not easy to swallow.
“I wanted a good time just like you and you were...willing.” Kyuhyun puts simply as he grabs the toothbrush again. The sounds of scrubbing can almost describe the irritation brushing against Ryeowook’s mind. It’s even harder to swallow this statement.
“I thought our friendship meant a bit more for you to take advantage of me.”
“And I thought our friendship would mean providing comfort when the other needed it.”
“So your way of comforting me was giving me sex?”
“Well, it was very comforting to me too.” Kyuhyun smiles bitterly at the shocked face.
“And what comfort did you need? I was the one who…”
“Keeps harping over someone you broke up with three months ago?” Kyuhyun stops brushing and looks directly at Ryeowook this time. The hurt boy looks like he’s been stabbed. “When are you going to grow up? When are you going to open your eyes?”
“I liked him a lot. He meant a lot more to me than you.” Ryeowook exhales slowly, seeing the expression iced over Kyuhyun’s face.
“That’s why you should forget about this. It meant nothing.” Kyuhyun grumbles as he turns back to the mirror and looks down.
“So what? This was just a good one time fuck to you?”
“Isn’t that what it was to you?”
Ryeowook feels his face burn up, every piece that’s shattered inside him sprouting a flame in his chest. He’s so confused by everything and perhaps he doesn’t have that much of a reason to be upset but he really is. He’s furious and his fist is so tempted to cracking that sharp jaw. And he’s mad because Kyuhyun’s right. Because it really doesn’t mean anything. They were drunk. They were aroused. And that’s exactly what it was supposed to mean to him. But Ryeowook doesn’t feel like he’s found the truth.
“No, it was a mistake.”
Then Ryeowook disappeared into a chillier than usual spring morning, leaving behind all remnants of that night in their hotel room and shakes off the little spasms of fury that threaten to take control of his fingers and toes. All he wanted was a break. Ryeowook wanted to stop himself from feeling for once. Sometimes, Ryeowook feels like he feels too much. But he doesn’t know how to do that. He’s never known. That’s why he’s had three big mistakes before and this might just be the fourth one.
When Kyuhyun is left alone, his arm slows down as the cloud of white foam drip from his lips and into the sink. He spits it all out. Water fills the plastic cup and then tips into his mouth as he takes a good look at himself in the mirror. The water hits the glass, clearing the image of his irritated, unpleasant face. He forcefully whips the cup onto the ground and falls back against the sink. His hands steadying his weight against the cool ceramic. Thankfully, it’s not glass but made of that thin cheap kind of plastic so it just bounces off, dented. Kind of like last night, full of cheap touches, cheap cheap kisses, and, cheap and fragile, wandering feelings in a cheap hotel. Yet with a forceful blow like this, somehow they came out dented. Of course, it was a cheap love.
Kyuhyun gives a frustrated groan, hand covering his upturned face. He lets out a third long sigh as he thinks. Because in the end, it really has no meaning to him and it was all cheap, he can’t help but to feel that that night had been everything to him. And it’s all that consumes his mind now. Kyuhyun can’t help but think that he screwed up. He really screwed up this time. It really had been a mistake.
Haha, I really think my writings getting worse but mehhhhh... Sorry and thanks for your patience. And hey hennu15 , I posted for you. This is the thing I wrote a while ago that I haven't finished but maybe if I post, I might finish it soon. :D <3