someone did this and i feel i should too
i need everyone to just listen to what im saying.. i wish everyone could just step in my body and think what im thinking.. feel what im feeling.. kno that im NOT a bad person..that i dont do anything bad on purpose.. im NOT a bad person no matter how much some people may say i am.. i dont try to be .. i actually am a good person. maybe i have a skewed veiw of myself.. if i do then i need to take a long hard look at myself ... which im doing anyway.. but everyone should kno i how i feel and i kno my real friends do..
-i think you of all people should kno how i feel.. i also kno you will never look at this anyway..i dont reall kno whats happend to us.. whats wrong with me.. whats wrong with you how come we cant just tell each other how we feel or whats going on.. you were the most important person to me in the whole world.. i trusted you with everything i could have, i loved you with all my heart.. and you broke my heart.. its just soo hard for me to trust you after everything thats happend between us and not between us.. i kno ive hurt you by some of my actions.. im sry.. ive never done anything to purposely hurt you..i would never EVER do that.. you were my life my EVERYTHING and you knew that.. i dont kno if you ever took advantage of that or not.. you kno that if you ever snappd your fngers .. i would do anything for you.. thats bad for me..because how am i in control of myself.. you hurt me everytime you talk nowdays.. how is that .. sometimes i feel like what your saying you feel and mean with all your heart but others times i djust dont kno..i feel like you tell me things but then do something else.. im just so over whelmed with everything.. im sick of people telling me what to do and how "I" feel when im the one who should be deciding that.. its my life. i honeslty dont kno what to do with myself.. my head hurts my bodys tred.. im tired of everything.. im sick of not understanding myself or anyone else in that matter.. im sick of my life right now..
and dont ever say that i dont mean anyof this becaue all of this is comming directly from my heart.. i dont give a damn if anyone reads this or not .. or if anyone cares i just need to get this out of my heart and my head.. everything hats been going through my mind for the past 7 months have been hell.. sometimes ive been so happy that i feel like nothing could bring me down.. but other times it gets SO bad i just dont kno what to do..but now i kno that its over nothing can ever fix us now.. i never ment to do this.. im just stupid and i hate myself for it .. i honelstly hate myself.. WHATS WRONG WITH ME?! how can i keep doing this to myself .. i need to finally let you go and just forget everything we ever had..although i know it will be hard im tired of crying myself to sleep every nighht and just wishing for everything to just get better.. i honeslty dont kno how to handle anything because when it actually happend i throw it all away.. but then again.. something was actually going good for me.. for once.. and i cant just drop everything for a chance at something else... i mean how could i .. i lost it to him.. and he didnt just levae.. he didnt and thats good.. i care about him.. and he doesnt deserve this..you dont deserve this... I dont deserve this.. why do ppl do this to themselves.. honestly why do ppl do this to each other.. nobody sits at home and thinks to themselves " im gonna go break someones heart and try to ripp thenm apart or im gonna go hurt someones feelings, im gonna go talk behind there back.. im gonna go lie." who does that!? but i mean we all do those things with out those intentions.. whats wrong with this world.. how did we become that way.. from this point on im through with all of this.. im sick of hurting ppl when i dont even mean to IM DONE if i dont want to be hurt then im not gonna even take the slightst chance of doing it to someone else...
right nowi trust him so much and i want to start something new and move on with my life.. thats all i can do.just kno that i will always love you no matter how much you hate me.. just kno that the memories we shared were amazing i will never forget them..i love you.. but now i guess we both need to move on .. forgive.. but NEVER forget
-i think you of all people should kno how i feel.. i also kno you will never look at this anyway..i dont reall kno whats happend to us.. whats wrong with me.. whats wrong with you how come we cant just tell each other how we feel or whats going on.. you were the most important person to me in the whole world.. i trusted you with everything i could have, i loved you with all my heart.. and you broke my heart.. its just soo hard for me to trust you after everything thats happend between us and not between us.. i kno ive hurt you by some of my actions.. im sry.. ive never done anything to purposely hurt you..i would never EVER do that.. you were my life my EVERYTHING and you knew that.. i dont kno if you ever took advantage of that or not.. you kno that if you ever snappd your fngers .. i would do anything for you.. thats bad for me..because how am i in control of myself.. you hurt me everytime you talk nowdays.. how is that .. sometimes i feel like what your saying you feel and mean with all your heart but others times i djust dont kno..i feel like you tell me things but then do something else.. im just so over whelmed with everything.. im sick of people telling me what to do and how "I" feel when im the one who should be deciding that.. its my life. i honeslty dont kno what to do with myself.. my head hurts my bodys tred.. im tired of everything.. im sick of not understanding myself or anyone else in that matter.. im sick of my life right now..
and dont ever say that i dont mean anyof this becaue all of this is comming directly from my heart.. i dont give a damn if anyone reads this or not .. or if anyone cares i just need to get this out of my heart and my head.. everything hats been going through my mind for the past 7 months have been hell.. sometimes ive been so happy that i feel like nothing could bring me down.. but other times it gets SO bad i just dont kno what to do..but now i kno that its over nothing can ever fix us now.. i never ment to do this.. im just stupid and i hate myself for it .. i honelstly hate myself.. WHATS WRONG WITH ME?! how can i keep doing this to myself .. i need to finally let you go and just forget everything we ever had..although i know it will be hard im tired of crying myself to sleep every nighht and just wishing for everything to just get better.. i honeslty dont kno how to handle anything because when it actually happend i throw it all away.. but then again.. something was actually going good for me.. for once.. and i cant just drop everything for a chance at something else... i mean how could i .. i lost it to him.. and he didnt just levae.. he didnt and thats good.. i care about him.. and he doesnt deserve this..you dont deserve this... I dont deserve this.. why do ppl do this to themselves.. honestly why do ppl do this to each other.. nobody sits at home and thinks to themselves " im gonna go break someones heart and try to ripp thenm apart or im gonna go hurt someones feelings, im gonna go talk behind there back.. im gonna go lie." who does that!? but i mean we all do those things with out those intentions.. whats wrong with this world.. how did we become that way.. from this point on im through with all of this.. im sick of hurting ppl when i dont even mean to IM DONE if i dont want to be hurt then im not gonna even take the slightst chance of doing it to someone else...
right nowi trust him so much and i want to start something new and move on with my life.. thats all i can do.just kno that i will always love you no matter how much you hate me.. just kno that the memories we shared were amazing i will never forget them..i love you.. but now i guess we both need to move on .. forgive.. but NEVER forget