(no subject)
zach and i got into an argument last night.
i wasn't really arguing. i was trying to discuss with him and everything i said he took offensively, and he started raising his voice and yelling at me. what i didn't understand is how he took what i was saying to be a judgemental statement against his friends. basically that they all live day by day and spending money on frivolous things, and while i don't care what kind of lifestyle they choose to live, i cannot live with them. or zach, for that matter, if he lives today like he is going to die tomorrow. it's not a judgement call, it's just what is true. i plan out my future. i'm looking into the next few years of my life. it's just how i'm most comfortable living. i don't feel comfortable around scott and carl because they live for today, and to me that makes them unreliable, because who knows what they're going to do tomorrow and the day after that. before i realized all of this, we were planning to someday move into bigger house together, which is a fine idea except i know i'd feel i'd have to take over all the planning and searching and taking care of bills. i know that i can save my money so that we could all move in together, but i don't feel that the rest of them can. money goes through them like water. that makes me feel unsafe. i enjoy their company and having them as friends, but i'm not again going to stick myself in the situation of living with them. they're good people, just not people that i should be living with. *shrug* zach can slice that up as judgemental anyway he wants to. i know it's not and it doesn't make sense to me why he would get all pissy about it. this morning he said he thought that i was trying to tell them how to live, which i'm not, but it would make sense on why that would piss him off. in the same regards, if he didn't get so pissed off right from the get-go, we might've been able to discuss it like reasonable adults. last night could've went alot smoother, but it didn't. i take partial blame but not all.
this morning, zach said the sweetest thing i've ever heard.
i wasn't really arguing. i was trying to discuss with him and everything i said he took offensively, and he started raising his voice and yelling at me. what i didn't understand is how he took what i was saying to be a judgemental statement against his friends. basically that they all live day by day and spending money on frivolous things, and while i don't care what kind of lifestyle they choose to live, i cannot live with them. or zach, for that matter, if he lives today like he is going to die tomorrow. it's not a judgement call, it's just what is true. i plan out my future. i'm looking into the next few years of my life. it's just how i'm most comfortable living. i don't feel comfortable around scott and carl because they live for today, and to me that makes them unreliable, because who knows what they're going to do tomorrow and the day after that. before i realized all of this, we were planning to someday move into bigger house together, which is a fine idea except i know i'd feel i'd have to take over all the planning and searching and taking care of bills. i know that i can save my money so that we could all move in together, but i don't feel that the rest of them can. money goes through them like water. that makes me feel unsafe. i enjoy their company and having them as friends, but i'm not again going to stick myself in the situation of living with them. they're good people, just not people that i should be living with. *shrug* zach can slice that up as judgemental anyway he wants to. i know it's not and it doesn't make sense to me why he would get all pissy about it. this morning he said he thought that i was trying to tell them how to live, which i'm not, but it would make sense on why that would piss him off. in the same regards, if he didn't get so pissed off right from the get-go, we might've been able to discuss it like reasonable adults. last night could've went alot smoother, but it didn't. i take partial blame but not all.
this morning, zach said the sweetest thing i've ever heard.