Band Jokes
I dont' know what to write, so.....more band jokes.
SAXOPHONE: A brass / woodwinds intrument that plays too l;oud in concert band, too soft in marching band and gets all the solos in jazz band.
ACCELERANDO: what happens when drummers have to keep a steady beat
ARC: A shape with between one and five corners and one open side.
BAND CAMP- A week in August when band nerds reunite and kick off the band mating season. Mostly used to establish seniority and LEVELS!!!
BAND MATING SEASON- Between August and November when band nerds pair off exclusively and find it their right to display their affection for one another (gag!)
BARITONE HORN PLAYERS- Persons for whom music is written in either bass or treble clefs thus explaining the continual outpouring of wrong notes. ie. "This is in bass clef and I read treble".
BI-SECTIONAL: The term given to one who plays different instruments for different ensembles
BRASS: Metallic looking and sounding devices designed to over-blow
BUS: 1. A good way to get to know someone (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean), however the most painful way in the world to watch a movie 2. the best place to sing country music 3. A portable changing room
CHAIR: See how high you rank on the food chain in your section.
CLARINET: Licorice stick that squeaks
CONDUCTING: The Drum Major's method of amusing the band to points of laughter at times.
DIVINE COMEDY: Watching the drum major attempt to keep a correct tempo.
DRUM-LINE: The people hitting the drums (or each other) with sticks in time with each other, but either a half beat earlier or later than the band and one beat from the pit.
F.C.P.L.: A brass dynamic marking that stands for "Forget Control Play Loud"
FRESHMEN: Designed to make up half the size of the band.
GLISSANDO: the way woodwind players play difficult runs
JAZZ: Supposedly an All-American art form, but really just an excuse for everybody to play whatever and whenever they want without getting yelled at.
JUNIORS: Wanna be seniors who think they can boss people around
MEMORIZATION: Learning the cool part of the song instead of your own.
PICCOLO: Like a flute except you can hear it's out of tune.
SOLO: In Marching band, you get to stand still while everybody else has to march, and nobody even knows you played.
In concert band, you are not heard and you get to take a bow.
In jazz band, You barf through your horn and take a bow. Everbody loves it.
SOPHOMORES: Try to make up for being abused as a freshmen by picking on the incoming freshmen as much as possible.
STANDING: What the brass line does in jazz band. Due to a weakness in the saxes and rhythm section, they do not stand. Some are man enought to handle it but they sit anyways.
SQUEAK: The only sign that a clarinet is playing.
TENOR SAXOPHONE: Bigger, louder, uglier. (the players and the horns)
TRUMPET: A way to make the band sound better. If the trumpets play loud enough, then you can't hear any other mistakes.
TRUMPET PLAYER: A person who thinks that every note has 8va written above it.
TROMBONE: A device that has the same pitch as the baritone, except that it is played with a slide, so it is easier to forget the positions
TUBA: A compound word; "Hey woman, fetch me another tuba Preparation H!"
TUNE: What we call it when most of the band is within a half step of each other.
VIBRATO: How to hide that you are out of tune.
WHINING: How to get yourself out sectionals. One slight drawback: you have to run until sectionals are over
WOODWINDS: Proof that God has a sense of humor.
SAXOPHONE: A brass / woodwinds intrument that plays too l;oud in concert band, too soft in marching band and gets all the solos in jazz band.
ACCELERANDO: what happens when drummers have to keep a steady beat
ARC: A shape with between one and five corners and one open side.
BAND CAMP- A week in August when band nerds reunite and kick off the band mating season. Mostly used to establish seniority and LEVELS!!!
BAND MATING SEASON- Between August and November when band nerds pair off exclusively and find it their right to display their affection for one another (gag!)
BARITONE HORN PLAYERS- Persons for whom music is written in either bass or treble clefs thus explaining the continual outpouring of wrong notes. ie. "This is in bass clef and I read treble".
BI-SECTIONAL: The term given to one who plays different instruments for different ensembles
BRASS: Metallic looking and sounding devices designed to over-blow
BUS: 1. A good way to get to know someone (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean), however the most painful way in the world to watch a movie 2. the best place to sing country music 3. A portable changing room
CHAIR: See how high you rank on the food chain in your section.
CLARINET: Licorice stick that squeaks
CONDUCTING: The Drum Major's method of amusing the band to points of laughter at times.
DIVINE COMEDY: Watching the drum major attempt to keep a correct tempo.
DRUM-LINE: The people hitting the drums (or each other) with sticks in time with each other, but either a half beat earlier or later than the band and one beat from the pit.
F.C.P.L.: A brass dynamic marking that stands for "Forget Control Play Loud"
FRESHMEN: Designed to make up half the size of the band.
GLISSANDO: the way woodwind players play difficult runs
JAZZ: Supposedly an All-American art form, but really just an excuse for everybody to play whatever and whenever they want without getting yelled at.
JUNIORS: Wanna be seniors who think they can boss people around
MEMORIZATION: Learning the cool part of the song instead of your own.
PICCOLO: Like a flute except you can hear it's out of tune.
SOLO: In Marching band, you get to stand still while everybody else has to march, and nobody even knows you played.
In concert band, you are not heard and you get to take a bow.
In jazz band, You barf through your horn and take a bow. Everbody loves it.
SOPHOMORES: Try to make up for being abused as a freshmen by picking on the incoming freshmen as much as possible.
STANDING: What the brass line does in jazz band. Due to a weakness in the saxes and rhythm section, they do not stand. Some are man enought to handle it but they sit anyways.
SQUEAK: The only sign that a clarinet is playing.
TENOR SAXOPHONE: Bigger, louder, uglier. (the players and the horns)
TRUMPET: A way to make the band sound better. If the trumpets play loud enough, then you can't hear any other mistakes.
TRUMPET PLAYER: A person who thinks that every note has 8va written above it.
TROMBONE: A device that has the same pitch as the baritone, except that it is played with a slide, so it is easier to forget the positions
TUBA: A compound word; "Hey woman, fetch me another tuba Preparation H!"
TUNE: What we call it when most of the band is within a half step of each other.
VIBRATO: How to hide that you are out of tune.
WHINING: How to get yourself out sectionals. One slight drawback: you have to run until sectionals are over
WOODWINDS: Proof that God has a sense of humor.