Fuck that noise!
The other day at work, a woman came in to pay her bill. It just happened that she used to go to high school with my co-worker, Bryan, and the two of them got around to chatting. My assistant manager got into the conversation as well, because she has a tendency to chatter at anyone who will listen. The woman (I never caught her name) is married to a police officer. She got on the subject of other police wives; how they don't like her and she doesn't like them. She said they are "like military wives. They're snobby and bitchy and rude, and they're all FAT. Seriously, they take no pride in their appearances. They're so lazy... I don't know how anyone could let themselves get like that. I had three babies, and look at me." My assistant manager, who was once in the military, echoed the woman's opinions on military wives, saying "The stereotypes are true, and they don't take care of themselves."
I don't know if they comprehended that I was standing about two feet away from them the whole time, or if they just didn't care. I'm not a military wife, mind you (that would NEVER happen, for so many reasons). But I am fat. And it makes me really angry that people perceive me as not taking care of myself. I slammed the reports I was working on face-down on the counter and stormed off the the back of the store, hoping they noticed. Maybe I should have said something, but there's no way it would have come out civil.
When I returned, Bryan immediately apologized to me, saying that he didn't echo his friend's sentiments and that he was extremely embarrassed by her ignorance. I appreciated that. He compared it to if one of my friends came in and made some gross, sweeping generalization about black people in front of him. (I reassured him that none of my friends would ever do that, and if they did, I'd immediately call them out on it. But he totally knew where I was coming from). I like Bryan a lot; we really get each other. I want to take him with me when I leave the store. My assistant manager, however, did nothing to acknowledge that the things she said in my presence might have been wrong and completely inappropriate for the work environment.
I used to internalize this kind of negative body crap. I'm sure I still do, to some level. But mostly, I get mad at the people who say stupid things, not myself.
It's one thing to say that military and police wives, or rather, SOME military and police wives (because generalizations are dangerous) can be stuck-up, cliquish and bitchy. People of all sizes can exhibit these behaviors. Fat is NOT a character trait.
I don't know if they comprehended that I was standing about two feet away from them the whole time, or if they just didn't care. I'm not a military wife, mind you (that would NEVER happen, for so many reasons). But I am fat. And it makes me really angry that people perceive me as not taking care of myself. I slammed the reports I was working on face-down on the counter and stormed off the the back of the store, hoping they noticed. Maybe I should have said something, but there's no way it would have come out civil.
When I returned, Bryan immediately apologized to me, saying that he didn't echo his friend's sentiments and that he was extremely embarrassed by her ignorance. I appreciated that. He compared it to if one of my friends came in and made some gross, sweeping generalization about black people in front of him. (I reassured him that none of my friends would ever do that, and if they did, I'd immediately call them out on it. But he totally knew where I was coming from). I like Bryan a lot; we really get each other. I want to take him with me when I leave the store. My assistant manager, however, did nothing to acknowledge that the things she said in my presence might have been wrong and completely inappropriate for the work environment.
I used to internalize this kind of negative body crap. I'm sure I still do, to some level. But mostly, I get mad at the people who say stupid things, not myself.
It's one thing to say that military and police wives, or rather, SOME military and police wives (because generalizations are dangerous) can be stuck-up, cliquish and bitchy. People of all sizes can exhibit these behaviors. Fat is NOT a character trait.