So cold.... so cold...
Tis the reason for the season... aka the crisis of skyrocketing gas prices has caused the nation to rise up in a resounding cry of WHYYYYY WHYYY IS IT SOOOOO COOOOLD???!!!!! But that is not the reason why I join in their be(ice)sickled heartfelt cry. No, my frozen disposition is due to the fact that I spent two hours of every workday last week chilling to the resonant tunes of the Salvation Army Red Kettle Cash Collection Cacophony Bell. Yes, I decided to give back to the community by sacrificing my time and a few frostbitten appendages in order to better humanity's downtrodden... and its slightly soggy Creoles.
On a side note I figured out how to mooch free wireless internet from my neighbors. I now type to you from the comforts of my living room couch wire-free! *smirks and sticks thumbs out like The Fonz* ...*stops and actually does it* (I see no point in typing it if you don't actually perform said action)
Anyway, I've done a bit more Christmas Shopping yadda yadda yadda... Did some yelling at my computer after it told me that no theatres in South Carolina were showing Bareback Mountain... laughed at myself when I realized the name of the movie was Brokeback Mountain... laughed even more when I realized that Bareback Mountain would have made more sense, albiet the alternative would have been extremely crude... (For those of you innocents who don't know what barebacking is, it means to engage in homosexual buggery without a condom)See, my title makes more since... who'd bother to manufacture condoms on a mountain?!?!
Anyway, I wasn't going to post until my fake news article was done, but Ashley became impatient. I guess she was misguided into thinking that something actually journal worthy occured during my Christmas break. Nope. But I did have a dream last night in which I'd decorated my apartment for Christmas then proceeded to cook dinner and invite Heather over to partake of my 30-min Easy Bake oven extravaganza in a box. It was really cute. I woke up hungry. Then I went to the grocery store... with a list of crap my mother wanted me to buy...
Oh, by the way, my grandfather died. (he he, bet that caught you off guard!) No shed tears here, though. I've never seen a dead body before... it was ugly. Then I started imagining myself in the coffin, cold, lifeless, and incredibly finalized. Wow, nothing like the death of a family member to help you realize your own mortality. Carpe Diem.
Wait... I can't end a journal entry like that!!!! Waaaaaay too depressing... I'll leave you with a quote!
“Where’s Harry?” Ron demanded.
“In the bathroom, in the midst of the bowel movement from hell,” Snape said and took a casual sip of his tea.
[…] Harry finally arrived. He was pale, and walking as if he were a thousand years old. He sat down very carefully.
“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said with sympathy.
“Ow... You would not believe,” Harry sighed, easing slowly and gingerly into his chair.
There, that's better!
On a side note I figured out how to mooch free wireless internet from my neighbors. I now type to you from the comforts of my living room couch wire-free! *smirks and sticks thumbs out like The Fonz* ...*stops and actually does it* (I see no point in typing it if you don't actually perform said action)
Anyway, I've done a bit more Christmas Shopping yadda yadda yadda... Did some yelling at my computer after it told me that no theatres in South Carolina were showing Bareback Mountain... laughed at myself when I realized the name of the movie was Brokeback Mountain... laughed even more when I realized that Bareback Mountain would have made more sense, albiet the alternative would have been extremely crude... (For those of you innocents who don't know what barebacking is, it means to engage in homosexual buggery without a condom)See, my title makes more since... who'd bother to manufacture condoms on a mountain?!?!
Anyway, I wasn't going to post until my fake news article was done, but Ashley became impatient. I guess she was misguided into thinking that something actually journal worthy occured during my Christmas break. Nope. But I did have a dream last night in which I'd decorated my apartment for Christmas then proceeded to cook dinner and invite Heather over to partake of my 30-min Easy Bake oven extravaganza in a box. It was really cute. I woke up hungry. Then I went to the grocery store... with a list of crap my mother wanted me to buy...
Oh, by the way, my grandfather died. (he he, bet that caught you off guard!) No shed tears here, though. I've never seen a dead body before... it was ugly. Then I started imagining myself in the coffin, cold, lifeless, and incredibly finalized. Wow, nothing like the death of a family member to help you realize your own mortality. Carpe Diem.
Wait... I can't end a journal entry like that!!!! Waaaaaay too depressing... I'll leave you with a quote!
“Where’s Harry?” Ron demanded.
“In the bathroom, in the midst of the bowel movement from hell,” Snape said and took a casual sip of his tea.
[…] Harry finally arrived. He was pale, and walking as if he were a thousand years old. He sat down very carefully.
“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said with sympathy.
“Ow... You would not believe,” Harry sighed, easing slowly and gingerly into his chair.
There, that's better!