this is no modern romance
5 Thing Arctic Monkeys Didn't Say When They Got Famous, Like for dreamofthem
01. Alex did not remark on the size of Morrissey's penis, even though he desperately wanted to. Good God man, he'd thought in the loos before taking the stage at Reading. With a cock like that, why the fuck would you be celibate? A cock like that would explain his popularity; Alex had never really seen the appeal in Morrissey until now. He was still contemplating this when he picked up his guitar to the roar of the crowd. "They haven't hyped us enough," he said sadly, feeling very small indeed.
02. Jamie met Noel Gallagher properly before a show that Arctic Monkeys were meant to open for Oasis. "Hello," said Noel, putting his hand out. "My name's Noel. Jamie, right? Excited for the show tonight?"
I WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU PISS ON, Jaime had wanted to scream. He smiled instead. "I'm a bit nervous," he said.
03. "We're going to America!" cried their tour manager.
No more! thought Andy. He threw up.
04. An angry Libertine fan came up to them, screeching for all she was worth about truth, beauty, freedom and love. Matt couldn't make a fucking word out. "Hang on, hang on!" he cried. "What's all this?"
"You lot are cunts! The Albion forever!" She turned and ran away.
"I'm glad we don't read poetry," said Alex, stunned. "People who read poetry are wankers."
I read poetry, thought Matt. Am I a wanker? It was a rhetorical question. Of course he was a wanker.
05.They were in the middle of an interview when Alex suddenly realised they were famous. He was overcome with giggles.
"What's wrong with Alex?" asked the reporter. His bandmates exchanged nervous glances, eager to keep up their cool exterior.
I've got to call my mum, Alex thought, desperately trying to pull himself together. She'll never believe I'm famous!
01. Alex did not remark on the size of Morrissey's penis, even though he desperately wanted to. Good God man, he'd thought in the loos before taking the stage at Reading. With a cock like that, why the fuck would you be celibate? A cock like that would explain his popularity; Alex had never really seen the appeal in Morrissey until now. He was still contemplating this when he picked up his guitar to the roar of the crowd. "They haven't hyped us enough," he said sadly, feeling very small indeed.
02. Jamie met Noel Gallagher properly before a show that Arctic Monkeys were meant to open for Oasis. "Hello," said Noel, putting his hand out. "My name's Noel. Jamie, right? Excited for the show tonight?"
I WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU PISS ON, Jaime had wanted to scream. He smiled instead. "I'm a bit nervous," he said.
03. "We're going to America!" cried their tour manager.
No more! thought Andy. He threw up.
04. An angry Libertine fan came up to them, screeching for all she was worth about truth, beauty, freedom and love. Matt couldn't make a fucking word out. "Hang on, hang on!" he cried. "What's all this?"
"You lot are cunts! The Albion forever!" She turned and ran away.
"I'm glad we don't read poetry," said Alex, stunned. "People who read poetry are wankers."
I read poetry, thought Matt. Am I a wanker? It was a rhetorical question. Of course he was a wanker.
05.They were in the middle of an interview when Alex suddenly realised they were famous. He was overcome with giggles.
"What's wrong with Alex?" asked the reporter. His bandmates exchanged nervous glances, eager to keep up their cool exterior.
I've got to call my mum, Alex thought, desperately trying to pull himself together. She'll never believe I'm famous!