shut up, i'm str8, you gays
there was drama. and there was str8arcticslash. and everyone lived happily ever after.
the best story I've ever written. end of.
dominic masters from the others (853 MOTHERFUCKER) was chillin' out in a gutter. he was writing a song for this boy he thought was a girl. he was pissed cos he'd gone all the way up the bum with the boy he thought was a girl only to be told that she was a he. dom masters ain't no gaymo innit.
"you there!" said a voice from up above. "on your knees!"
dom masters looked up in alarm. "GOD?" he shouted but actually it was just some spotty chavvy looking boy. "oh you. go away."
"you know who i am?" said alex turner who is a famewhore.
"no," said dom masters who is above the arctic monkeys AS HE WELL SHOULD BE.
"what are you writing?" said alex turner. "what's that? 'johan, it was really nothing?' who's johan? want to bumsexx with me?"
"k," said dom masters. "but i ain't no gaymo innit."
"bumsexx is only for str8s loser."
"oh right."
so they had sex. it was mildly pleasurable. but not too pleasurable because otherwise they would have gone to hell because that's where all fags go. hell. where they belong. gosh.
"I'M NOT GAY!" said alex turner at the climax.
"whatever," said dom masters who was already bored. "are you gonna pay me or what?"
the best story I've ever written. end of.
dominic masters from the others (853 MOTHERFUCKER) was chillin' out in a gutter. he was writing a song for this boy he thought was a girl. he was pissed cos he'd gone all the way up the bum with the boy he thought was a girl only to be told that she was a he. dom masters ain't no gaymo innit.
"you there!" said a voice from up above. "on your knees!"
dom masters looked up in alarm. "GOD?" he shouted but actually it was just some spotty chavvy looking boy. "oh you. go away."
"you know who i am?" said alex turner who is a famewhore.
"no," said dom masters who is above the arctic monkeys AS HE WELL SHOULD BE.
"what are you writing?" said alex turner. "what's that? 'johan, it was really nothing?' who's johan? want to bumsexx with me?"
"k," said dom masters. "but i ain't no gaymo innit."
"bumsexx is only for str8s loser."
"oh right."
so they had sex. it was mildly pleasurable. but not too pleasurable because otherwise they would have gone to hell because that's where all fags go. hell. where they belong. gosh.
"I'M NOT GAY!" said alex turner at the climax.
"whatever," said dom masters who was already bored. "are you gonna pay me or what?"