Letter to the criminals
To the person, or persons, who unceremoniously dumped my bike into a pile of others causing the the handlebars to misalign and perhaps causing further damage:
You make me sad. I would wish terrible things on you and your future offspring but that might be an overreaction. So I'll say it again, you make me sad. Mr. Red Turtle, as I have just now named my bike, is a good, average, old decrepit bike, but gets me where I need to go if I peddle adequately. He did nothing to you, and you didn't even have the courtesy to try and steal him. So why? Why mistreat a good, old bike?
You are cruel people and should be run over by little blond children with demonic glowing eyes riding pink tricycles with the little rainbow tassels. There, I said it. No I take it back.
I'm better than you people so I won't curse you but just know that you made a little girl cry somewhere out there. It wasn't me, and my one eyed tear is a reaction to the cold and not the fact that you hurt Mr. Red Turtle, the bike. And now it's all weird when I ride it and how else will I get to class in the morning when the bus doesn't go where I need to go? How will I eat? How will I SURVIVE? But no, you people are callous apes and didn't bother to think before you acted brutishly.
So that's that. Learn your bloody goddamn manners and that your actions have reactions that fuck up my bike and really hampers my good starting day.
I hope you rot in the hell your God created. Lies! I didn't say that. I just hope if you have cars they get keyed. Or your bikes get flat tires.
Well then.
Best,
The owner of the eleven year old red Motive bike with the silver fenders and little cow bell, Mr. Red Turtle, or as we like to call him, Red.
You make me sad. I would wish terrible things on you and your future offspring but that might be an overreaction. So I'll say it again, you make me sad. Mr. Red Turtle, as I have just now named my bike, is a good, average, old decrepit bike, but gets me where I need to go if I peddle adequately. He did nothing to you, and you didn't even have the courtesy to try and steal him. So why? Why mistreat a good, old bike?
You are cruel people and should be run over by little blond children with demonic glowing eyes riding pink tricycles with the little rainbow tassels. There, I said it. No I take it back.
I'm better than you people so I won't curse you but just know that you made a little girl cry somewhere out there. It wasn't me, and my one eyed tear is a reaction to the cold and not the fact that you hurt Mr. Red Turtle, the bike. And now it's all weird when I ride it and how else will I get to class in the morning when the bus doesn't go where I need to go? How will I eat? How will I SURVIVE? But no, you people are callous apes and didn't bother to think before you acted brutishly.
So that's that. Learn your bloody goddamn manners and that your actions have reactions that fuck up my bike and really hampers my good starting day.
I hope you rot in the hell your God created. Lies! I didn't say that. I just hope if you have cars they get keyed. Or your bikes get flat tires.
Well then.
Best,
The owner of the eleven year old red Motive bike with the silver fenders and little cow bell, Mr. Red Turtle, or as we like to call him, Red.