The month of June.
Much has happened since the first of June.
Summer is going by at a very reasonable pace. I feel as though I have already done so much, albeit, summer is longer this year because of college and graduating and all, but it seems like I've gotten so much accomplished. Lots of hanging out, and it's not even July yet! We've still got a week!
Today I will be (hopefully) purchasing a really nice camera. A present to myself, and something I've been wanting to get involved with for a while-Photography.
Being with Keegan inspires me to do all sorts of stuff I would never do-like write a song, and play my harp on a semi-regular basis, and spend 12+ hours on a fucking love mix. It's seriously taking so long, but it's going to be amazing, and it's definitely not just one mix. I love him so much. And I don't know what's going to happen at the end of the summer, but there's no way he's not going to be in my life. I never thought I could become reliant on someone else, and maybe that's a bad thing, but it's also a beautiful thing, and I like the idea of completely giving my everything-trust, love, self to someone else. I think for many, it is one of the hardest things. To let go of your regrets and fears and those insecure thoughts that pop up and just, falling, hard and not giving a shit. Because I don't know how much I may hurt down the line, but I don't think about it now, because there is no point, and if I just focus on the now, and how incredibly magnificent this love is, it can last forever, because it will always be the now-not sure if that makes sense, but it makes alot of sense to me, so I'm going with it.
There's this song, called "Cycling Trivialities" by Jose Gonzalez. And it is how I feel about Keegan.
On Monday, I tripped a 1/2 8th on Boulder Creek with Keegan. HOLY Fucking guacamole!!! IT was the most amazing thing, like ever. It was so much more intense than when I tripped the 8th and threw up. We found this secluded little spot and set out a blanket and lied there for a good 4 hours. And I'm digging nature or whatnot, and seeing mathematical patterns in the leaves and trees and branches and all that. And then, I'm looking at this trunk right by us, of this huge tree and I think I see all these ants moving or something. But it was definitely not ants. The tree was breathing and swirling and changing colors and it was like the whole thing was moving in and out, but it was way more cirular than that, because each little piece of bark was...fuck, it was fucking amazing. I've never seen anything like that. And then everything was doing that. The dirt on the ground was moving in these little spirals that connected to every other part of the ground and the way the spirals of the dirt transferred to the roots of the tree. And I was just staring at this, and I definitely started crying because it was so beautiful, and may have been hallucinating, but I felt very connected to the world and nature and all that good stuff. So for a good hour or so, all the trees kept changing colors and breathing, and I played with rocks in the river and had ridiculous drug induced conversations and drank lots of strawberry lemonade and basically, it was the most incredibly drug experience of my life, and mushrooms are so fucking amazing. It sucked though, cause Keegan didn't trip nearly as hard, and was nauseous for part of it. I guess they just effect different people different ways. Eh. But it was really wonderful overall.
More to come about this month of June at a later date.
Summer is going by at a very reasonable pace. I feel as though I have already done so much, albeit, summer is longer this year because of college and graduating and all, but it seems like I've gotten so much accomplished. Lots of hanging out, and it's not even July yet! We've still got a week!
Today I will be (hopefully) purchasing a really nice camera. A present to myself, and something I've been wanting to get involved with for a while-Photography.
Being with Keegan inspires me to do all sorts of stuff I would never do-like write a song, and play my harp on a semi-regular basis, and spend 12+ hours on a fucking love mix. It's seriously taking so long, but it's going to be amazing, and it's definitely not just one mix. I love him so much. And I don't know what's going to happen at the end of the summer, but there's no way he's not going to be in my life. I never thought I could become reliant on someone else, and maybe that's a bad thing, but it's also a beautiful thing, and I like the idea of completely giving my everything-trust, love, self to someone else. I think for many, it is one of the hardest things. To let go of your regrets and fears and those insecure thoughts that pop up and just, falling, hard and not giving a shit. Because I don't know how much I may hurt down the line, but I don't think about it now, because there is no point, and if I just focus on the now, and how incredibly magnificent this love is, it can last forever, because it will always be the now-not sure if that makes sense, but it makes alot of sense to me, so I'm going with it.
There's this song, called "Cycling Trivialities" by Jose Gonzalez. And it is how I feel about Keegan.
On Monday, I tripped a 1/2 8th on Boulder Creek with Keegan. HOLY Fucking guacamole!!! IT was the most amazing thing, like ever. It was so much more intense than when I tripped the 8th and threw up. We found this secluded little spot and set out a blanket and lied there for a good 4 hours. And I'm digging nature or whatnot, and seeing mathematical patterns in the leaves and trees and branches and all that. And then, I'm looking at this trunk right by us, of this huge tree and I think I see all these ants moving or something. But it was definitely not ants. The tree was breathing and swirling and changing colors and it was like the whole thing was moving in and out, but it was way more cirular than that, because each little piece of bark was...fuck, it was fucking amazing. I've never seen anything like that. And then everything was doing that. The dirt on the ground was moving in these little spirals that connected to every other part of the ground and the way the spirals of the dirt transferred to the roots of the tree. And I was just staring at this, and I definitely started crying because it was so beautiful, and may have been hallucinating, but I felt very connected to the world and nature and all that good stuff. So for a good hour or so, all the trees kept changing colors and breathing, and I played with rocks in the river and had ridiculous drug induced conversations and drank lots of strawberry lemonade and basically, it was the most incredibly drug experience of my life, and mushrooms are so fucking amazing. It sucked though, cause Keegan didn't trip nearly as hard, and was nauseous for part of it. I guess they just effect different people different ways. Eh. But it was really wonderful overall.
More to come about this month of June at a later date.