(no subject)
i feel kinda weird, idk what it is, i just feel like really bored or something, i mean, nothing is bad in my life...so i'm kinda weirded out by it, i really dont' know whats wrong, i don't know how to explain it, i dont' really have any energy, it feels like i've been doing the same thing over and over again. i think its because i miss my friends, i can't just hang out with them anymore, i'm down here in florida, and i want to hang out with my friends...but its weird, i love it down here, and i have a great girlfriend, but i miss nate and everybody, i miss going to shows. i just want that part of my life back, i'm not homesick, i'm just friendsick i think. i feel so disconnected from everyone back home, no one is really ever online...so i can't really talk to them either. and if they are online..they don't stay on very long. but yea, i can't wait to go home for christmas time. then i'll at least get to see my friends again. i have friends here, but frankly, they don't hold a candle to my best friends back in ct. they're not the same, i don't have the same connection with them as i do with the elite in ct. and the thing is, idk if they even miss me that much back home...i mean, i wouldn't know for sure right? i'm not there, but if i was there, they wouldn't miss me, cause i'd be there. and i was hoping that maybe me writing this out would make me feel better, but unfortunately it did not. god i better get a good job after school, i better be directing movies AT LEAST by the time i'm 36. i better be in the the film business, directing movies and music videos and such. i think i deserve that chance. i've never really held on to any other dream as long as this one, and i want it to work out...so it better work out.