The Egyptian - Malik/OFC, NC-17

[savorvrymoment]

Title: The Egyptian
Author: savorvrymoment
Pairing: Malik/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~5500
Spoilers: Assassin's Creed (1)
Summary: "He sits by the fountain and bathes, doing his best to wash away the smells of the brothel, of sex, and of her.  Somehow, he still goes to sleep with a strange hint of Egyptian spice clinging to his skin."
Warnings for explicit

Comments

[wanderingflame]

So I finally have a chance to sit down and leave my thoughts and I realize that I have loved everything you've posted here and yet I've never commented. Incredible shame, I has it.

Anyway, I will try to cover all the parts I loved about this and hopefully not leave anything out.

Firstly, I am (sadly) one of those people what has a knee-jerk reaction to seeing "Known Character/Original Character" in the pairings line. All too often, it's a very obvious MarySue, but Hala felt so real in this, it was like she was an overlooked part of the first game, a character who'd been hiding in the wings the whole time.

This is probably my favorite line ever from a fic: “Lest I have to tell Al Mualim that I found you stabbed to death just outside the bureau. What a shame that would be.” I really enjoyed their interactions, especially after Masyaf is re-taken.

I love that Malik still thinks of his wife. And how at the end, he wants to take it slow, because that makes perfect sense. So much about this story felt very real and believable and I think that's why I enjoyed it so much.

And the sex...! *fans self* It's hot, beautifully written and just UNF. You have a way with words that I envy. :3

I did notice one possible error: Hala's friend's Assassin brother is referred to as Sa'di at the gate and then later as Sa'bi, unless that was a different person. They seemed similar enough that it could have been a typo.

Also, I had a question about the "kink bingo card" you mention this being written for. It's a phrase I've seen around but never quite understood. Is it a community challenge "card" or is it just a way of writing a bunch of kink fics and keeping a list of them somewhere? It intrigues me.

Please continue to post more of your fics to the community!

[savorvrymoment]

You are so sweet! Thanks for leaving such a wonderful, detailed comment. I really had very little expectation as far as anyone reading this--I'm the same as you, I often pass fics right over that are Known Character/OC. And I can't blame people for doing so, they almost always are Mary Sue-ish. But I wanted to write this fic to fill the bingo square, and since I did, I figured I'd share it anyway. I'm glad you enjoyed.

(Fixing the Sa'di/Sa'bi thing now. Yes, that was a typo.)

As for the kink bingo, it's a challenge community run over on dreamwidth. Here's a link. The main bingo round runs through the summer until September, I think. You sign up for a card, and then work to fill bingos and such. There's a lot more info on the site. That, and they do smaller challenges through the rest of the year. It's a pretty cool thing--and from what I've seen, very very popular. :-)

[wanderingflame]

I always try to leave detailed feedback because I know that's usually preferable to just babbling. Of course, then I looked back on this and thought it looked like babbling anyway. Anyway!

I will definitely check out that community! Thank you for the link. I barely have enough time to write as it is, but I do enjoy challenge communities. :3