(no subject)
i feel that i am unhappy. im ok, im fine, but im not really that great. my state of mind...im not sure where it is, its constantly longing for something new and interesting, and worthwhile. everything becomes so repetitive and my mind feels like it is being washed over and nothing seems to have any meaning or importancs.
Im turning 20 on wednesday dec 1st, josh is turning 20 on friday december 3erd. so we are kindof celebreating that together over the weekend. i requested time off of work so i could relax and get shit done.
im sick of working, i still might try to get a job at the fondue room serving.
i think i am changing my idea for what i wanted to do for my finail assignment for studio lighting. i just feel limited with that fact that it has to be shot in the studio.
this lj entry wasn't intended to sound so damn emo.
what i originally intended to write was my feelings about christmas.
as much as Christmas is commercialized, overrated and superficial, it still makes me happy. its not about geting gifts, or anything like that, its just the lights, and the whole idea of the spirit of christmas, and the thought of someday building my own traditions that would be simple and sweet and fantastic, thats what gets me through the fucing christmas eve and christmas day when im obligated to spend long hours over family members houses, with drunk aunts crying, teen cousins fighting, trying to have worthwhile conversations and eating to much food.
i love the idea of what christmas has the potential to be for me.
Im turning 20 on wednesday dec 1st, josh is turning 20 on friday december 3erd. so we are kindof celebreating that together over the weekend. i requested time off of work so i could relax and get shit done.
im sick of working, i still might try to get a job at the fondue room serving.
i think i am changing my idea for what i wanted to do for my finail assignment for studio lighting. i just feel limited with that fact that it has to be shot in the studio.
this lj entry wasn't intended to sound so damn emo.
what i originally intended to write was my feelings about christmas.
as much as Christmas is commercialized, overrated and superficial, it still makes me happy. its not about geting gifts, or anything like that, its just the lights, and the whole idea of the spirit of christmas, and the thought of someday building my own traditions that would be simple and sweet and fantastic, thats what gets me through the fucing christmas eve and christmas day when im obligated to spend long hours over family members houses, with drunk aunts crying, teen cousins fighting, trying to have worthwhile conversations and eating to much food.
i love the idea of what christmas has the potential to be for me.