Ichigo was oblivious to many things about women, but Mashiro, for all that she was trying to put on a calm front, fairly screamed nervous tension. First with that almost-flinch, and then with her tone. Ichigo couldn't even remember if she had ever been so quiet in the entire time he had known her.
Ignoring her request that he lay back down, Ichigo pushed his battered, broken body into obeying, and managed to get himself into the floor, kneeling before her in the classic japanese bow to a revered person of much higher rank....or, more simply put; from a student to a sensei.
"Please....accept...m-my...*gasp*...apology."
Kurosaki Ichigo, usually so proud, so stubborn as to never have bowed in such a fashion of his own accord, was not only doing it before this Vizard he hardly knew, but doing it through a great deal of pain. Just that little bit of movement to get from the mattress laying on the floor, to the floor itself made all the color drain from his face, and a light, clammy sweat break out over the unbandaged parts of his body.
She had moved to stop him when he started moving, but once Mashiro noticed just what he was doing she stopped; not wanting to disrespect Ichigo for this show of respect. Once those words were out of his mouth though her hands were on his shoulders, wanting to push him back onto the mattress.
Instead, her arms went around him, so that his bowed head was pressed to her stomach.
"I accept, so please... please lay back down. It's okay..."
A little dizzy, and a little sick with the spinning of the room added to the cold guilt in the pit of his stomach, Ichigo straightened up enough to look Mashiro in the eye. That old, stubborn look was back, but this time...there was resolve, too.
The resolve that no matter what happened, no matter how much he might want to, Ichigo wouldn't give into a fit of temper. He understood, now, what he had to do. And more; he understood the price that the power to carry out this task would be.
"...I...I don't want...you...to...fear me."
But his arms were burning where ( although not remembered by Ichigo ) Dante's energy swords had seared clean through the hollow's armor, and so Ichigo let good sense outweigh stubborn pride, and let Mashiro help him back into laying down.
She knew now that treating Ichigo like a 'kid' was part of what had caused all this - and true, in body and partially mind Mashiro was far too young to even be considered old enough to be Ichigo's mother. But in these rare moments her true age, and solemn wisdom proved true to her over century-long existence in this life. So she did indeed hush Ichigo as she got him settled back onto that mattress, making sure he was covered and taking a minute to retrieve and dampen a cloth with cool water from the nearest bathroom while he caught his breath.
Quietly, she hummed to calm herself as much as reassure Ichigo as she gently bathed his face clean of the sweat borne of exertion from him moving, then brushed at ginger bangs with fingers that trembled just a little.
"... I know it's scary. It's not you I'm afraid of, but afraid for. What's in you, in all of us..." Yes, his Hollow terrified her. That incredible raw power and rage was far too similar to a night over a hundred years ago in another realm, though she didn't have to watch Ichigo lose his mind, nor try to hold onto him even as he clawed both to get away from her and crush her...
"I-it won't happen again, I promise." Mashiro's voice wavered, and her eyes were a little distant, blurred with a far off nightmare as she continued to run her fingers through Ichigo's hair. "It's okay, it's okay..."
True, under most circumstances, Ichigo would protest being fussed over like this, but...it was that stubborn pride again. Pride. Pride that had insisted he wasn't a child, pride that had rebelled at being 'grounded', pride that had sent him offworld when he had no business being there while his power was so unstable.
Ichigo realized it, now. Pride was what had hurt Maggie. Pride that had sent Rock, and Xanxus to the hospital. Pride that made everyone around him look at Ichigo like he was a time bomb, waiting to go off.
...Just now, pride seemed like something he had no business feeling.
So, he allowed Mashiro to dab his brow, and brush his mussed hair away. For just a moment, Ichigo closed his eyes, and let her do it...because for just a moment, if felt good. But, her hand was shaking, and quietly he raised one hand to grasp her's, his eyes opening, and watching her fearful expression.
"...It's...okay." He paused as the realization that her fear wasn't of him sank in, and he noticed the way she...didn't seem to even really be seeing him right now?
"You...don't need to be...afraid anymore. I know...what I have to do...now...can't be afraid of...of it." It was a little easier to talk now that he was laying back, but the tight bandages over still-fresh wounds along his ribs made catching his breath take far longer than Ichigo wanted to wait.
"Can't be...afraid of...what you are. I learned...that...it's your decision...you choose what...you are...and then...the fear goes...away."
Mashiro smiled down at him, though it wavered, and she had to take a moment and turn away to wipe the back of her other hand across blurring eyes.
"That's what we wanted you to know. Now..." Now what more could the Vizard do? Ichigo's power was so monstrous and if this latest incident proved anything, it was that even the Vizard couldn't quite be counted on to suppress it; or even to control it. Either Ichigo was too fearful of his own power, or it overwhelmed him.
Yet those arrancar... reactions so simple but effective. How the Espada fought Ichigo to just to kill but in some sort of show if dominance; and how the little one, even though he fled in fear, gave enough pause to the berserk Hollow Ichigo had become for the Espada to give a decisive blow. Ichigo must have conquered his inner Hollow at that moment... Mashiro could only imagine the exhaustion.
"Just rest now. When you're better we can continue, if you want."
Mashiro didn't need to ask him. In all honesty, Ichigo had no business being awake, and moving around right now, and his body was telling him so.
The dizziness from his earlier movement lingered, and after so much of a tax being put on his reiatsu...well, it was something of a wonder he had as much left as he did. Although, that might have been a big reason why the Vizards looked at him with that touch of fear in their eyes.
...Respect for his skills, or strength, Ichigo wanted very much. Fear? Never.
But, for the moment, all those things felt like they could be set aside. Mashiro's words made some of the tension go out of Ichigo, as she said to him, face-to-face, that they would continue training him. His control was still sorely lacking, and for all that Ichigo may, indeed, be more powerful than any of them, he didn't know how to wield that power yet. He knew this about himself...but was also determined to learn.
"...Don't cry? S'nothin...to be scared...of"
...And, brown eyes closed under those cool, little fingers. For the first time in longer than Ichigo cared to remember, his dreams were not troubled by his own grinning, white reflection.
She could feel it when he closed his eyes; no shift in his reiatsu, even as exhausted as he was. The Hollow in him was sated, and the boy he inhabited could finally rest. Mashiro breathed a sigh of relief, her fingers finally leaving his brow.
She watched him for a long moment, before she started to get up to leave - and it was only then that she noticed his wallet, and the photo he had been looking at.
...His mother...
Wordlessly she placed the picture back, folded the wallet closed and laid it beside Ichigo's head on his pillow. She would be proud, Ichigo, that you've grown to be so strong.
A true smile now, if a little tired, as Mashiro stood and looked down at this incredible boy, still such a child to her, before she left and returned to Kensei's bed. It was still early yet... and the sun would rise.
Ignoring her request that he lay back down, Ichigo pushed his battered, broken body into obeying, and managed to get himself into the floor, kneeling before her in the classic japanese bow to a revered person of much higher rank....or, more simply put; from a student to a sensei.
"Please....accept...m-my...*gasp*...apology."
Kurosaki Ichigo, usually so proud, so stubborn as to never have bowed in such a fashion of his own accord, was not only doing it before this Vizard he hardly knew, but doing it through a great deal of pain.
Just that little bit of movement to get from the mattress laying on the floor, to the floor itself made all the color drain from his face, and a light, clammy sweat break out over the unbandaged parts of his body.
"I'll...n-not ever let it...happen...again..."
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She had moved to stop him when he started moving, but once Mashiro noticed just what he was doing she stopped; not wanting to disrespect Ichigo for this show of respect. Once those words were out of his mouth though her hands were on his shoulders, wanting to push him back onto the mattress.
Instead, her arms went around him, so that his bowed head was pressed to her stomach.
"I accept, so please... please lay back down. It's okay..."
Reply
That old, stubborn look was back, but this time...there was resolve, too.
The resolve that no matter what happened, no matter how much he might want to, Ichigo wouldn't give into a fit of temper. He understood, now, what he had to do. And more; he understood the price that the power to carry out this task would be.
"...I...I don't want...you...to...fear me."
But his arms were burning where ( although not remembered by Ichigo ) Dante's energy swords had seared clean through the hollow's armor, and so Ichigo let good sense outweigh stubborn pride, and let Mashiro help him back into laying down.
Reply
She knew now that treating Ichigo like a 'kid' was part of what had caused all this - and true, in body and partially mind Mashiro was far too young to even be considered old enough to be Ichigo's mother. But in these rare moments her true age, and solemn wisdom proved true to her over century-long existence in this life. So she did indeed hush Ichigo as she got him settled back onto that mattress, making sure he was covered and taking a minute to retrieve and dampen a cloth with cool water from the nearest bathroom while he caught his breath.
Quietly, she hummed to calm herself as much as reassure Ichigo as she gently bathed his face clean of the sweat borne of exertion from him moving, then brushed at ginger bangs with fingers that trembled just a little.
"... I know it's scary. It's not you I'm afraid of, but afraid for. What's in you, in all of us..." Yes, his Hollow terrified her. That incredible raw power and rage was far too similar to a night over a hundred years ago in another realm, though she didn't have to watch Ichigo lose his mind, nor try to hold onto him even as he clawed both to get away from her and crush her...
"I-it won't happen again, I promise." Mashiro's voice wavered, and her eyes were a little distant, blurred with a far off nightmare as she continued to run her fingers through Ichigo's hair. "It's okay, it's okay..."
Reply
Pride. Pride that had insisted he wasn't a child, pride that had rebelled at being 'grounded', pride that had sent him offworld when he had no business being there while his power was so unstable.
Ichigo realized it, now. Pride was what had hurt Maggie. Pride that had sent Rock, and Xanxus to the hospital.
Pride that made everyone around him look at Ichigo like he was a time bomb, waiting to go off.
...Just now, pride seemed like something he had no business feeling.
So, he allowed Mashiro to dab his brow, and brush his mussed hair away. For just a moment, Ichigo closed his eyes, and let her do it...because for just a moment, if felt good.
But, her hand was shaking, and quietly he raised one hand to grasp her's, his eyes opening, and watching her fearful expression.
"...It's...okay."
He paused as the realization that her fear wasn't of him sank in, and he noticed the way she...didn't seem to even really be seeing him right now?
"You...don't need to be...afraid anymore. I know...what I have to do...now...can't be afraid of...of it."
It was a little easier to talk now that he was laying back, but the tight bandages over still-fresh wounds along his ribs made catching his breath take far longer than Ichigo wanted to wait.
"Can't be...afraid of...what you are. I learned...that...it's your decision...you choose what...you are...and then...the fear goes...away."
Reply
"That's what we wanted you to know. Now..." Now what more could the Vizard do? Ichigo's power was so monstrous and if this latest incident proved anything, it was that even the Vizard couldn't quite be counted on to suppress it; or even to control it. Either Ichigo was too fearful of his own power, or it overwhelmed him.
Yet those arrancar... reactions so simple but effective. How the Espada fought Ichigo to just to kill but in some sort of show if dominance; and how the little one, even though he fled in fear, gave enough pause to the berserk Hollow Ichigo had become for the Espada to give a decisive blow. Ichigo must have conquered his inner Hollow at that moment... Mashiro could only imagine the exhaustion.
"Just rest now. When you're better we can continue, if you want."
Reply
The dizziness from his earlier movement lingered, and after so much of a tax being put on his reiatsu...well, it was something of a wonder he had as much left as he did.
Although, that might have been a big reason why the Vizards looked at him with that touch of fear in their eyes.
...Respect for his skills, or strength, Ichigo wanted very much. Fear? Never.
But, for the moment, all those things felt like they could be set aside. Mashiro's words made some of the tension go out of Ichigo, as she said to him, face-to-face, that they would continue training him. His control was still sorely lacking, and for all that Ichigo may, indeed, be more powerful than any of them, he didn't know how to wield that power yet.
He knew this about himself...but was also determined to learn.
"...Don't cry? S'nothin...to be scared...of"
...And, brown eyes closed under those cool, little fingers. For the first time in longer than Ichigo cared to remember, his dreams were not troubled by his own grinning, white reflection.
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She watched him for a long moment, before she started to get up to leave - and it was only then that she noticed his wallet, and the photo he had been looking at.
...His mother...
Wordlessly she placed the picture back, folded the wallet closed and laid it beside Ichigo's head on his pillow. She would be proud, Ichigo, that you've grown to be so strong.
A true smile now, if a little tired, as Mashiro stood and looked down at this incredible boy, still such a child to her, before she left and returned to Kensei's bed. It was still early yet... and the sun would rise.
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