Don't Change For Me Cause I Like You Just The Way You Are
Started: 7:44 pm
Okay. So I've made up my mind for sure. I'm done waiting for this fucking imaginary tide. I guess I've finally come to terms with the fact that it's just never gonna turn, hell that maybe it wasn't even ever there. It's been turning in my head and I just didn't know what to do these past few days... but... I decided to check W's myspace. Something I haven't done for a few months now and frankly I was proud of that. Well you know the first thing I saw was W in this... I guess happy picture with her boyfriend. I think that's when I realized that I've been holding on to air. I mean come on W doesn't know I exist, we've never really talked and our worlds are just way to different now. Plus... she seemed happy and I guess that's what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I still think this kid is gonna break her heart one day down the road, maybe it'll be in the next hour, day, week, years? Maybe. Who knows. But one day he will, and I know it's horrible to think that but I still think she deserves better and he just... gave me an unsettling feeling. But hey maybe it's cause I was jealous? I donno.
So, W. I know you're never gonna read this cause hey how could you ever find out right? Well then this is to you.
Just so you know, back then not.. everyone caught my eye. To be honest I'm still not sure what made you so special maybe there was just that feel about you that set you off from the rest of the plastic people. Maybe it was the fact that your best best friends were actually intelligent. Maybe it was the fact that you told me at the beginning that your jock "friends" didn't talk to you except outside of school. Maybe.... maybe it was the way you smiled, bright and real. Whatever it was you captivated me. In a way that was a blessing and a curse. You blinded me for two years and had me hanging off and around waiting for a sign. And maybe if I wasn't so distracted by you I could have found someone different. But you did. W, back then i saw a real future in you. You were smart, you played sport and hell you were sociable. Then you got thrown in the "popular" crowd and even though I know I have no grounds to say this, cause I'm not a friend or even an accquantice or anything. But you lost yourself kid. Somehow, someway, you just started turning rotten. It killed me. knowing that one of the few decent people I encountered in my life was gonna go and throw it all away unknowingly. And I wanted to save you, believe me I did but. I couldn't and still an't decide if you needed or wanted saving and I didn't even have a place to start. But... I do wish the best for you and even though there's a hole in me right now cause of your nonexistant presence I'll still root for you. Cause... that's what unrequited souls do. This is a little bit of the beginning of me moving on W. So I can find someone else to wait for the tides for. So that maybe I can one day take that ring out again and wear it without being in vain. In a way, I'm hoping that he won't break your heart W, cause even though I don't and never want to admit it, it'd break my resolve to, I'm sure.
We got 3 left. And I'm counting down the days until I can get away from this hold you have no idea you've got on me. I'll ignore you from now on cause it's just easier like that. And it won't affect you because how do you get hurt by someone you never knew. So,
Look here kid, your life's not over yet. You're just a little broken.
And for now, I'll "bend the pieces until they fit like they were meant for it... but they weren't meant for this."
Besides they always say there are more fishes in the sea right? Maybe now I can take a chance, a big leap. Maybe that'll be part of my moving on process. So thanks W, really. I'll keep bending the pieces till they fit, Just for you.
-SavingMidnight
End: 8:24 pm