happy fuckin spring break to me...
Spring break has been fun and all, but it's just not the same without being at the beach, you know? I mean, I don't even have enough money to go to Charleston to see Lisa AND the beach. I was broke as a joke until yesterday. My dad could only give me $10 on monday for food for the entire week and gas if I really, really needed it...it lasted until tuesday. I hate this. It sucks. I mean, we've never, under any circumstances, been even close to "rich", but we've never been this broke. Even when my parents split and my mom took basically everything. It scares me. This is why I'm determined to make it through college. My dad can't get another good job because he never went to college. It's such a big deal now, but it wasn't back then. I can see why he pushes me and gets mad when I make bad grades. I don't know. It's just scary. I had to buy groceries last week..and all that I could afford were a couple cans of beanie weenies, 2 jugs of water, milk, and some soup for my dad. Like, I feel helpless. I mean, I'm sure that helped him out some, but where did that leave me by Thursday? BROKE. I know I'm complaining too much, but it just sucks. You know? And I don't want to say anything to my mom because then she'll think that my dad can't handle feeding me and taking care of me and she'll try to get me to live with her all the time...fuuuckk that. I'd shoot myself before I'd live with Chad every damn day. I'd go nuts.
But, on a lighter note, yesterday was 4*20..yeah..y'all know what that means. And if you don't..then you're stupid. But, yeah..anyway, I was fucking fried last night. I mean, y'all have no idea. It was amazing. I shouldn't have driven to Brittney's house, but I did anyway. Justin rolled this fat..and I mean fat ass blunt..and we all smoked that. Then I packed a bowl and we smoked that..then we smoked out of the bong..dammmn..that's all I have to say. Plus I had just taken my effexor so I was already relaxed from that (cause it's my anxiety medicine) then smoking? man..it was the best feeling in the world.
Okay..on to something else..I've been confused about a lot of things..well, not really a lot, but I've just been confused about some things. It's hard to explain and I don't want to explain on here and I don't really need to talk about it right now anyway so I don't know why I even said anything.
Okay..so I'm pretty dead set on going to Trident Tech. I called them yesterday and they didn't answer so I left a message with my name and number, but they haven't called back. So I'm going to call again today on my lunch break and ask them about everything. I'm so excited. Yesterday I was so nervous just leaving a message. I really, really, really want to go. I think it's an opportunity I can't pass up. I think it would be really good for me to get out and get on with my life. I'm so excited!
Well, that's all for now!
♥
Oh..and to top that..my Nana had a stroke on Wednesday. She's been in the hospital ever since. I went to see her last night and I just wanted to cry. Dad said that she's doing better, but I saw no improvement. She can walk with very little help, but she's still slurring her words. Her left side of her mouth is still sagging a little. And basically, it's just her left side that's giving her problems. She was trying to open a straw and I just wanted to grab it and open it for her because she was getting frustrated and I just..I don't know. I don't like to see her like this. I really don't. It's my Nana. They said that she *might* be able to come home Sunday..they said *might* about coming home yesterday too. I don't know. And I mean, she doesn't know how to answer questions really. It takes like, 2 or 3 times asking her a question for her to respond with the correct answer. She can answer anything about her past, how long she's been married, how old she is, her children and grandchildren's names, all that stuff, but anything that's going around her right now, she has trouble with. Like, we were watching TV and someone was changing the channels and Susan asked her if she knew where she was at and she said,"channel 3" and I don't know..it just bothers me. It hurts to see her like that. Okay, well that's all I can say about it right now..later gators..*
But, on a lighter note, yesterday was 4*20..yeah..y'all know what that means. And if you don't..then you're stupid. But, yeah..anyway, I was fucking fried last night. I mean, y'all have no idea. It was amazing. I shouldn't have driven to Brittney's house, but I did anyway. Justin rolled this fat..and I mean fat ass blunt..and we all smoked that. Then I packed a bowl and we smoked that..then we smoked out of the bong..dammmn..that's all I have to say. Plus I had just taken my effexor so I was already relaxed from that (cause it's my anxiety medicine) then smoking? man..it was the best feeling in the world.
Okay..on to something else..I've been confused about a lot of things..well, not really a lot, but I've just been confused about some things. It's hard to explain and I don't want to explain on here and I don't really need to talk about it right now anyway so I don't know why I even said anything.
Okay..so I'm pretty dead set on going to Trident Tech. I called them yesterday and they didn't answer so I left a message with my name and number, but they haven't called back. So I'm going to call again today on my lunch break and ask them about everything. I'm so excited. Yesterday I was so nervous just leaving a message. I really, really, really want to go. I think it's an opportunity I can't pass up. I think it would be really good for me to get out and get on with my life. I'm so excited!
Well, that's all for now!
♥
Oh..and to top that..my Nana had a stroke on Wednesday. She's been in the hospital ever since. I went to see her last night and I just wanted to cry. Dad said that she's doing better, but I saw no improvement. She can walk with very little help, but she's still slurring her words. Her left side of her mouth is still sagging a little. And basically, it's just her left side that's giving her problems. She was trying to open a straw and I just wanted to grab it and open it for her because she was getting frustrated and I just..I don't know. I don't like to see her like this. I really don't. It's my Nana. They said that she *might* be able to come home Sunday..they said *might* about coming home yesterday too. I don't know. And I mean, she doesn't know how to answer questions really. It takes like, 2 or 3 times asking her a question for her to respond with the correct answer. She can answer anything about her past, how long she's been married, how old she is, her children and grandchildren's names, all that stuff, but anything that's going around her right now, she has trouble with. Like, we were watching TV and someone was changing the channels and Susan asked her if she knew where she was at and she said,"channel 3" and I don't know..it just bothers me. It hurts to see her like that. Okay, well that's all I can say about it right now..later gators..*