not a good day....

[savindus]

This has been a shitty day. About 4 o'clock, I got home from doing some errands and had to pee before I ate. So, naturally, I went to the bathroom. Unfortunately, there was a little blood spot in my panties. Naturally, being my first pregnancy, I was a bit worried, so I called TJ at work, checked online, then ran and got TJ from work and went to the ER. I was *supposed* to be at 13 weeks. When I went in for the ultrasound, the baby was measuring 8 weeks 4 days. Exactly a week after I found out that I was pregnant. There was no heartbeat, and no movement. After the ultrasound, I went in for a D&C (basically they went in and took the little baby out).

This hurts so much, and I'm just glad that I have a good family and a few good friends. I was looking forward to being able to find out what the child was in a few weeks, and TJ and I even had names picked out already. Its so upsetting that I can't even describe the feeling. I feel like I've been beaten, knocked down, and laughed at by God himself. Even that, though is an understatement.

Those of you who know my phone number, please do not call me right now. Those of you who know my address, please do not visit me right now. I'm not trying to be mean. I need to be alone with TJ and myself for a while (orangerose_juri, you're an exception, you're my roommate/cousin(at least now you're my cousin, yesterday it was sister!!).

Thank you all for respecting my requests, comments here are always welcome.