KiraxCagalli - a handwritten letter
Title: A Handwritten Letter
-pt. 1: Meeting
-pt. 2: Argument
-pt. 3: Kiss
-pt. 4: Date
-pt. 5: Leaving
Author/Artist: angrycherokee
Theme: Firsts (for stagesoflove)
-1: First Meeting
-2: First Argument
-3: First Kiss
-4: First Date
-5: First Time
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I finished early.
Kira,
It's funny how your brain works. I don't remember my first birthday, or any of them, until my fifteenth. I received half of a key chain, and my father told me that a stranger had the other half. That made me smile, somehow, because someone had half of my precious gift, my heart. You have the other half, don't you? A tiny feeling inside me says you do.
It's also funny how fate works out. I remember the first time we met; you dragged me out of there, to the safety of a shelter. Rather than take the one empty spot for yourself, you gave it to me, and you didn't even know me. For some reason, that one virtue made me want to desperately see you again.
And I got to.
You showed up in that Gundam. It's hard to express how surprised I was that you had actually survived (which now I find ignorant since you always pull through) so I won't even try. We fought, and you ended up slapping me. No one ever had hit me, or even touched me in a threatening way. It snapped me back into reality, if those are the right words.
“What the hell can you protect with your feelings?” You asked me that question, and I still think about it. You can't protect much, I know now. But you can channel those feelings into something productive. Right now, my feelings are the only thing helping me guide this pen steadily. From the amount of scratching out I'm making, I'm surprised you have not awoken and asked what I'm doing.
I'm glad you haven't. I wouldn't have the heart to tell you.
We kissed on the deck of the Archangel while traveling through Red Sea. I didn't want to tell you at the time that I had wanted to kiss you for a short while, so I guess I'll tell you now. You leaned over and just... kissed me lightly. It was simple, but somehow spoke more than a sweeping, movie-like kiss. I liked that.
We never talked about it ever again, and, if I remember correctly (but how could I forget?) that we started talking about the porpoises chasing our ship. That part I liked, too, because it felt like we were something so important that it was supposed to be a secret. You had something with Fllay, and I didn't want to make you unhappy if I spoke of our kiss. So a secret it stayed.
I now wish though, Kira, that we had kissed more than once before it became impossible to do so in public.
Remember when you took me on a date nearly a year later, on our birthday, after the war ended? I remember it so well I had never talked so much to a person in one night, nor had I ever eaten with just one person, particularly a boy.
We had a secluded booth. We discussed our parents, our lineage, and, most importantly, what that meant for us. You were with Lacus, and I was with Athrun because of how the cards had been dealt. I remember looking into your crystalline eyes and seeing how disappointed, how shocked, how pained they were when you said the word “siblings.”
I kissed you after we had that talk, and you kissed me back. It didn't seem to matter that we were brother and sister, at least not to us.
Now, here we are, three years later, Kira. I look over my shoulder, and I see your naked body covered by the white linen sheets, asleep. You look peaceful, like your world has finally settled down from the whirlwind it has been at ever since you jumped into the cockpit with Captain Ramius.
I imagine myself beside you like I was an hour ago, my skin bare just like yours. I want to think of myself at that same equilibrium, but I can't. People know about us and are gossiping, despite our best efforts to keep it muffled. I didn't care about them at the beginning, when we first started sneaking those butterfly kisses and I don't care about them now, but, Kira...
I know that this is selfish of me, but I don't want Athrun to find out. Both of our hearts, mine and his, would rip into tiny pieces if he found out.
I love you, more than any words can describe. I don't want to leave like this, don't want to leave you in the lurch, but my plane to Zaft leaves in half an hour.
I know that this is also selfish of me, but I don't want us to continue after I return. I hope that you can understand my reasons for this note and hope that you will someday forgive me for doing this. It only makes the matters worse that today is our birthday, the day where both of us were first together to face this harsh new world.
I wish that we could only face it together again, twenty-one years later.
-Cagalli
postscript,
I just wanted to say that the precious moment we had earlier was my first time. I'm glad it was with you.
My usually unhappy submission into the K/C birthday celebration.
x-posted everywhere.
-pt. 1: Meeting
-pt. 2: Argument
-pt. 3: Kiss
-pt. 4: Date
-pt. 5: Leaving
Author/Artist: angrycherokee
Theme: Firsts (for stagesoflove)
-1: First Meeting
-2: First Argument
-3: First Kiss
-4: First Date
-5: First Time
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I finished early.
Kira,
It's funny how your brain works. I don't remember my first birthday, or any of them, until my fifteenth. I received half of a key chain, and my father told me that a stranger had the other half. That made me smile, somehow, because someone had half of my precious gift, my heart. You have the other half, don't you? A tiny feeling inside me says you do.
It's also funny how fate works out. I remember the first time we met; you dragged me out of there, to the safety of a shelter. Rather than take the one empty spot for yourself, you gave it to me, and you didn't even know me. For some reason, that one virtue made me want to desperately see you again.
And I got to.
You showed up in that Gundam. It's hard to express how surprised I was that you had actually survived (which now I find ignorant since you always pull through) so I won't even try. We fought, and you ended up slapping me. No one ever had hit me, or even touched me in a threatening way. It snapped me back into reality, if those are the right words.
“What the hell can you protect with your feelings?” You asked me that question, and I still think about it. You can't protect much, I know now. But you can channel those feelings into something productive. Right now, my feelings are the only thing helping me guide this pen steadily. From the amount of scratching out I'm making, I'm surprised you have not awoken and asked what I'm doing.
I'm glad you haven't. I wouldn't have the heart to tell you.
We kissed on the deck of the Archangel while traveling through Red Sea. I didn't want to tell you at the time that I had wanted to kiss you for a short while, so I guess I'll tell you now. You leaned over and just... kissed me lightly. It was simple, but somehow spoke more than a sweeping, movie-like kiss. I liked that.
We never talked about it ever again, and, if I remember correctly (but how could I forget?) that we started talking about the porpoises chasing our ship. That part I liked, too, because it felt like we were something so important that it was supposed to be a secret. You had something with Fllay, and I didn't want to make you unhappy if I spoke of our kiss. So a secret it stayed.
I now wish though, Kira, that we had kissed more than once before it became impossible to do so in public.
Remember when you took me on a date nearly a year later, on our birthday, after the war ended? I remember it so well I had never talked so much to a person in one night, nor had I ever eaten with just one person, particularly a boy.
We had a secluded booth. We discussed our parents, our lineage, and, most importantly, what that meant for us. You were with Lacus, and I was with Athrun because of how the cards had been dealt. I remember looking into your crystalline eyes and seeing how disappointed, how shocked, how pained they were when you said the word “siblings.”
I kissed you after we had that talk, and you kissed me back. It didn't seem to matter that we were brother and sister, at least not to us.
Now, here we are, three years later, Kira. I look over my shoulder, and I see your naked body covered by the white linen sheets, asleep. You look peaceful, like your world has finally settled down from the whirlwind it has been at ever since you jumped into the cockpit with Captain Ramius.
I imagine myself beside you like I was an hour ago, my skin bare just like yours. I want to think of myself at that same equilibrium, but I can't. People know about us and are gossiping, despite our best efforts to keep it muffled. I didn't care about them at the beginning, when we first started sneaking those butterfly kisses and I don't care about them now, but, Kira...
I know that this is selfish of me, but I don't want Athrun to find out. Both of our hearts, mine and his, would rip into tiny pieces if he found out.
I love you, more than any words can describe. I don't want to leave like this, don't want to leave you in the lurch, but my plane to Zaft leaves in half an hour.
I know that this is also selfish of me, but I don't want us to continue after I return. I hope that you can understand my reasons for this note and hope that you will someday forgive me for doing this. It only makes the matters worse that today is our birthday, the day where both of us were first together to face this harsh new world.
I wish that we could only face it together again, twenty-one years later.
-Cagalli
postscript,
I just wanted to say that the precious moment we had earlier was my first time. I'm glad it was with you.
My usually unhappy submission into the K/C birthday celebration.
x-posted everywhere.