Trying to Mend
I have tried several times to make amdends. But every time I have made an attempt the door has been slammed in my face. This was my last attempt before her banning me from her life and Live Journal.
I read your blog last night after Ray read it, which by the way he didn't want me to read it due to how all this has really upset me. I have been physcial and mental ill over all this stuff. I would have emailed you about the gift but as you never responsed to my last email I thought that a phone call would be best. The phone call was two fold, one to stop my nightmares about you and the second to see if you would be even willing to talk to me. I don't like what has happened and to be honset you have written some things that you say I have done that I don't understand. I really would like to talk it out. You were/are a friend and I don't want to lose that. So if we can talk by phone or email please let me know, because I would like to discuss why I wrote in my LJ what I did and to understand some of the things you have written back or in your people bug about me.
Now as far as the bookmarker went, boy did you hurt me even more than I thought you could. I never meant the Serenity prayer to be religious. It was a prayer that I was always told came from AA. I was taught to use it in a way as asking for help in making the right decisions. Well after reading your blog I went in search of the history of the prayer and I found many different theories on who wrote it and why, but at the end of the site I did find this.
Pagan Serenity Prayer
God & Goddess grant me:
The power of Water, to accept with ease & grace what I cannnot change.
The power of Fire, for the energy & courage to change the things I can.
The power of Air, for the ability to know the difference.
and the power of Earth, for the strenght to continue my path.
http://open-mind.org/Serenity.htm
I am very sorry for offending you with the bookmarker, it just reminded me of you and I know that things were stressful on many levels for you, at the time I bought it. Please remember that I bought and sent the gift before I opend my big mouth and vented in my LJ.
A question for you and maybe you can help clear up one thing that has always been a sore spot in my life with Ray. Why do you and other people refuse to see us as two different people. Yes there are many times that we agree and will say the same thing but then there are just as many times that we don't agree. He and I don't agree on many things and I can't not understand why you think he had anything to do with what I posted in my LJ that day. He was sleeping and did not see the post until I got your response. Which I have to say I thought we were friends enough that you would call me and saying something like, "Ok what the hell is up!" I never excepted you to jump down my throat and curse at me like you did.
But anyway I really do want to work things out between you and me and Robin. Robin has blocked me so I can't with her until I work things out with you. So I know you have a very tight schedule with family and work. So please let me know when is the best time or way to talk to you so that we both can forgive each other. I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am and how all this has hurt me more than anything in my life in a long time.
So at this time I don't know what else to say except I am very sorry and would like to talk this out with you and see if our friendship can be mended because I miss you in my circle of friends.
Thank you for taking the time to read and listen to me. I do hope to hear from you.
Nan
I read your blog last night after Ray read it, which by the way he didn't want me to read it due to how all this has really upset me. I have been physcial and mental ill over all this stuff. I would have emailed you about the gift but as you never responsed to my last email I thought that a phone call would be best. The phone call was two fold, one to stop my nightmares about you and the second to see if you would be even willing to talk to me. I don't like what has happened and to be honset you have written some things that you say I have done that I don't understand. I really would like to talk it out. You were/are a friend and I don't want to lose that. So if we can talk by phone or email please let me know, because I would like to discuss why I wrote in my LJ what I did and to understand some of the things you have written back or in your people bug about me.
Now as far as the bookmarker went, boy did you hurt me even more than I thought you could. I never meant the Serenity prayer to be religious. It was a prayer that I was always told came from AA. I was taught to use it in a way as asking for help in making the right decisions. Well after reading your blog I went in search of the history of the prayer and I found many different theories on who wrote it and why, but at the end of the site I did find this.
Pagan Serenity Prayer
God & Goddess grant me:
The power of Water, to accept with ease & grace what I cannnot change.
The power of Fire, for the energy & courage to change the things I can.
The power of Air, for the ability to know the difference.
and the power of Earth, for the strenght to continue my path.
http://open-mind.org/Serenity.htm
I am very sorry for offending you with the bookmarker, it just reminded me of you and I know that things were stressful on many levels for you, at the time I bought it. Please remember that I bought and sent the gift before I opend my big mouth and vented in my LJ.
A question for you and maybe you can help clear up one thing that has always been a sore spot in my life with Ray. Why do you and other people refuse to see us as two different people. Yes there are many times that we agree and will say the same thing but then there are just as many times that we don't agree. He and I don't agree on many things and I can't not understand why you think he had anything to do with what I posted in my LJ that day. He was sleeping and did not see the post until I got your response. Which I have to say I thought we were friends enough that you would call me and saying something like, "Ok what the hell is up!" I never excepted you to jump down my throat and curse at me like you did.
But anyway I really do want to work things out between you and me and Robin. Robin has blocked me so I can't with her until I work things out with you. So I know you have a very tight schedule with family and work. So please let me know when is the best time or way to talk to you so that we both can forgive each other. I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am and how all this has hurt me more than anything in my life in a long time.
So at this time I don't know what else to say except I am very sorry and would like to talk this out with you and see if our friendship can be mended because I miss you in my circle of friends.
Thank you for taking the time to read and listen to me. I do hope to hear from you.
Nan