Something or other, about penis.
My cat loves me. Maybe a bit too much. She is always waiting for me when I get home, she follows me to the bathroom, because seriously that is the first thing that I do when I get home form anywhere. I fucking refuse to urinate in a public bathroom unless my bladder is going to explode inside my body and leak urine and eventually kill me. If I do go to the bathroom it’s just to look at myself, and play with my hair, or wash my hands, usually the latter because lets face it, everywhere and everyone is dirty. Anyway she always follows me to the bathroom and if I don’t leave the door open for her she sits there and scratches or just tries to break the door down until I let her in. Then she sits there and stares at me like, “how was your day honey” and it’s cute, she’s like my little girlfriend. She cuddles with me in bed an don the couch and she hangs out with me and follows me from room to room.
This is actually getting sad, I just compared my cat to a girlfriend.
Fuck my life, I am writing a fucking entry about my cat…
I have just slated myself as the crazy cat lady. For the rest of my life! Exciting!
Anyway my hands smell like fucking onions, I’ve washed them at least seven times since work and nothing is working. FUCK YOU PERSON WHO ORDERED A FUCKING BLACK OLIVE AND ONION PIZZA. YOU DIRTY FUCKING RAT BALLS LICKING BASTARD. I HOPE YOUR PIZZA WAS ONLY MEDICORE AT BEST AND YOU NEVER EAT ONE A-FUCKING-GAIN…
Ahhhhhh the sound of pent up rage being released from my fingertips. Really that did sort of make me feel better. I mean they deserve some sort of punishment. My friend told me I smelled like BO! Depressing.
To be honest I have never hated a job this badly before. I can not wait to quit or get fired. I would much rather them fire me so I can try to collect some unemployment and sit on my ass some more. It really isn’t so much that I have to work, I really don’t mind working is the fact that they leave this dumbfuck redneck in charge, who is probably younger than I am, and has no fucking managing experience except for what he is doing now, as a ‘shift supervisor’ the only thing this mother fucker supervises is his fucking cell phone. Don’t get me wrong, he told me I could text on the job as long as I hid from the cameras. Which I seriously never noticed which is really funny in itself.
The other supervisor type person is this girl, who is younger than I am, who gave me shit tonight, said my pizza looked like shit and that she didn’t want to send it out but she knew it would take me too long to make a new one so she had to. I was like are you fucking serious? It looks like a mother fucking pizza you stupid bitch.
I am turning very quickly into a curmudgeon it’s almost disturbing to think about but at the same time maybe this is what I am suited for, to be a fucking asshole to anyone and everyone. I think I will continue on my path to being a grumpy old guy, and say to hell with it. I am not out in life to make friends, I am out to live life, no one is going to help me but me, it’s a lesson they really don’t teach you in school, no one is going to fucking hold your hand and tell you everything will be alright if you just clap your hands for the fairy. No one is going to clap their hands for you. Maybe this is just the cynic in me… or maybe it’s just how the fucking world is, and for those of you who had no fucking idea, welcome to your life, it’s ending one minute at a time. Screw you if you do not believe me … but it is all so very true and it comes straight from the mouth of a prophet. I am only telling you the truth so that you can circumvent disaster before it strikes. But maybe I am just a fucking crazy bitch with too much fucking time on her hands. Fuck if I know bro. All I know is that this entry is over …
This is actually getting sad, I just compared my cat to a girlfriend.
Fuck my life, I am writing a fucking entry about my cat…
I have just slated myself as the crazy cat lady. For the rest of my life! Exciting!
Anyway my hands smell like fucking onions, I’ve washed them at least seven times since work and nothing is working. FUCK YOU PERSON WHO ORDERED A FUCKING BLACK OLIVE AND ONION PIZZA. YOU DIRTY FUCKING RAT BALLS LICKING BASTARD. I HOPE YOUR PIZZA WAS ONLY MEDICORE AT BEST AND YOU NEVER EAT ONE A-FUCKING-GAIN…
Ahhhhhh the sound of pent up rage being released from my fingertips. Really that did sort of make me feel better. I mean they deserve some sort of punishment. My friend told me I smelled like BO! Depressing.
To be honest I have never hated a job this badly before. I can not wait to quit or get fired. I would much rather them fire me so I can try to collect some unemployment and sit on my ass some more. It really isn’t so much that I have to work, I really don’t mind working is the fact that they leave this dumbfuck redneck in charge, who is probably younger than I am, and has no fucking managing experience except for what he is doing now, as a ‘shift supervisor’ the only thing this mother fucker supervises is his fucking cell phone. Don’t get me wrong, he told me I could text on the job as long as I hid from the cameras. Which I seriously never noticed which is really funny in itself.
The other supervisor type person is this girl, who is younger than I am, who gave me shit tonight, said my pizza looked like shit and that she didn’t want to send it out but she knew it would take me too long to make a new one so she had to. I was like are you fucking serious? It looks like a mother fucking pizza you stupid bitch.
I am turning very quickly into a curmudgeon it’s almost disturbing to think about but at the same time maybe this is what I am suited for, to be a fucking asshole to anyone and everyone. I think I will continue on my path to being a grumpy old guy, and say to hell with it. I am not out in life to make friends, I am out to live life, no one is going to help me but me, it’s a lesson they really don’t teach you in school, no one is going to fucking hold your hand and tell you everything will be alright if you just clap your hands for the fairy. No one is going to clap their hands for you. Maybe this is just the cynic in me… or maybe it’s just how the fucking world is, and for those of you who had no fucking idea, welcome to your life, it’s ending one minute at a time. Screw you if you do not believe me … but it is all so very true and it comes straight from the mouth of a prophet. I am only telling you the truth so that you can circumvent disaster before it strikes. But maybe I am just a fucking crazy bitch with too much fucking time on her hands. Fuck if I know bro. All I know is that this entry is over …