Don't Worry About It (Part 4/5)
Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
It had been two weeks since AJ had been released from the hospital. He was doing absolutely fine. Though he still needed his cane, he was able to return to his normal daily activities. He went back to substitute teaching, and even got a supporting role in a local production. Rehearsals had been going on for a couple days now. The AJ everyone knew and loved was back.
Except for two weeks he couldn’t get his mind off Nick. Why? Hell if he knew. He tried to keep himself busy in hopes of shaking the thoughts, but they always found their way back. The image of him in the side mirror waving liked to flash itself in his memory at random times. Then he would go back and reread the journal he kept to remind himself of what they talked about. Funny, the last week of his hospital stay was all about Nick. About how good he was with his work, about how he legitimately cared for each one of his patients, about how genuine his smile was every time.
AJ needed a new hobby. Fortunately he and Kevin were planning a party in his honor, a “glad you’re not dead” party as his roommate so kindly put it. They’d already discussed the food and drink menu and were now working on the guest list.
“Who do you want there?” Kevin asked, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.
AJ shrugged. “All the people we normally invite when we have parties?”
Kevin set the pen down without writing anything. “Works for me.”
“I don’t know who else we’d invite. Call your friends, I’ll call mine…” AJ’s voice drifted off as his mind somehow found its way back to the topic of Nick. “Would it be weird if,” he paused and Kevin raised his eyebrows at him, interested in what was to follow. “Would it be weird if I invited the nurses from the hospital?”
Kevin wanted to make a smartass comment-AJ saw it in his face-but he refrained. “Not at all. But what are the odds that they’d actually show up?”
AJ’s facial expression faded into a blank stare. “Yeah. I mean. I was just thinking it’d be a nice gesture since they all helped keep me alive. And this is a glad-you’re-not-dead party.”
“It is a nice gesture, and I’m not telling you to not invite them. Just saying the likelihood of their attendance is not looking good so don’t get your hopes up.”
“Yeah.” He repeated. He stood up from his seat and grabbed his cane. “I’m gonna go for a walk.”
“You okay by yourself?” Before Kevin could finish his sentence, AJ was already out the door.
**
It had been over two weeks since AJ left the hospital. Patients came and went, but not a day passed that Nick didn’t think about AJ. He missed the company. When AJ was still on the unit, it felt like Nick only had three patients while the fourth was really a friend whose room he could escape to and hang out in. It’s not that his current patients were boring; it’s just they weren’t as interesting. And he somehow always got stuck with the old patients. They were sweet and he loved them all dearly, but when he wasn’t changing diapers, he was listening to stories about the Depression.
Nick idly sat at one of the computers, going through the monotony of charting unscheduled medications and looking up lab results. Out of the corner his eye, he saw someone in a swivel chair roll up next to him. He looked over at the other nurse. “What’s up, Elaine?” She had returned from her honeymoon just days ago.
“Oh nothing. All my people are asleep, but look what I found in the med room.” She waved a small note card in front of him.
“What is it?” He logged off the computer and gave her his full attention. She handed the card to him. He opened it and read to himself:
To the wonderful nurses of 6 North:
You all were such a big help after my accident, and I would probably be dead if it wasn’t for you. My roommate’s throwing a “Glad You’re Not Dead” party for me, and I would be greatly honored to see any of you there. The details are on the back.
AJ McLean
“Oh. That’s nice of him.” Nick remarked, trying to hide any trace of emotion.
“We should go!” Elaine’s voice was way too cheerful for 4:12am.
Nick gave her a look as he set the card down. “You really think so?”
“He invited the nurses of 6 North. We’re nurses of 6 North. We both took care of him. Why not?”
He reached for a nearby chart to make some notes. “He was probably just doing it to be nice. He’s not really expecting any of us to show up.”
“And that’s the fun part. He’s not expecting it. Last time I saw him he was malnourished and not peeing.”
“Then you should go,” he said without looking up.
“Come on, Nick! It’ll be fun.”
He sighed as he stopped writing and reached for the invitation to look at the back. “This Saturday,” he read. “I don’t know if I’m working.”
“I checked. We’re both off.” He glared, but she smiled wider. “We’ll go, have a drink, stay for an hour or two, then go.”
“Why don’t you just go with your husband?”
“I’ve already decided he’s coming too.”
“So then I’m gonna be the third wheel?”
“Maybe you’ll meet someone there.” She grinned, and Nick rolled his eyes. “What, do you have other plans or something?” Well no, of course he didn’t. He didn’t know why he was being so difficult. It would be nice to see him again. But wasn’t that weird? Crossing the patient-nurse border?
“Fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “Pick me up at 8?” Elaine smiled victoriously. “Should we call and say we’re coming?”
“No it’ll be okay,” she waved her hand in air. “What do you think you’re gonna wear?”
“You’re kidding, right?” At that moment a call light went off and the two looked around the unit to see whom it belonged to. Nick. “Duty calls!” he stood up from his chair and patted Elaine on the head before going to check on his patient. What was he going to wear?
**
Nick tried on what was probably the third shirt in the last 20 minutes. It’s not like he even had that wide of a selection to choose from, but nothing seemed right. What was one supposed to wear to a former patient’s party anyway? He decided the black Lacoste polo he had just put on would suffice. He moved from looking in his closet mirror to looking in his bathroom mirror, trying to decide what to do with his hair. He decided to do it like he did any other day: put some product in it and let it take care of itself. Even if it stuck out every which way, he still managed to make it work. He washed his hands using his favorite foaming antibacterial soap from Bath & Body Works (Warm Vanilla Sugar, germs don’t just live in the hospital) before going back to his closet for a pair of shoes. If there was one thing he did have a wide selection of, it was footwear. He had all sorts of colors, styles, brands. Some men collected comic books, others collected cars, he collected shoes. He selected a pair of neon green and black sneakers.
Nick looked at himself in the mirror once again, smoothing out the wrinkles in his jeans. He wondered why he cared so much about what he looked like. It was just a party. And he was gonna know a grand total of one, maybe two people. His thoughts then wandered to why he was even going. Earlier that day, Elaine had notified him that she offered to cover a shift for a sick co-worker and thus she wouldn’t make it to the party. She also somehow persuaded him to go without her anyway. In any other situation, Nick probably would’ve opted to stay in and read a book or watch a movie.
But instead for some reason, here he was standing in front of the coat closet in his living room at 9:14pm Saturday night, debating whether he should bring a sweater or jacket. He chose a light jacket and draped it over his arm before grabbing his keys, wallet, phone, and printed directions off the kitchen table. He left a single light on so it wouldn’t be too dark when he returned to his apartment later that night.
Nick had a few friends that lived in the same general area as AJ, only about 15 to 20 minutes from his own place, so he found AJ’s apartment complex easily. Getting out of his car was the hard part. He was still questioning why he was there, if he should even be there. There was a potential that he could be in a very awkward situation. Oh what the hell. He made a living off walking into strangers’ hospital rooms every day and asking about the consistency of their poop. How much more awkward than that could it get?
He sat in the car and made a deal with himself: stay for at least an hour starting from the time you walk in the door. If you’re not having a good time, make up an excuse to leave. Nick repeated this to himself as he finally got out of his car and proceeded to the correct apartment suite. He pressed the doorbell once and waited patiently. Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open and Kevin stood before him.
Kevin blinked a couple times. “Hey, you’re the nurse!” Nick noticed the faint smell of alcohol on his breath and excused his forwardness.
“Uh yeah, I’m Nick. Kevin, right?” Nick stuck his hand out to shake his, only to have Kevin grab it and pull him into the apartment.
“Come on in.” Kevin guided Nick into what he presumed was normally the living room when it wasn’t crowded with people. “Drinks are over there, food right here. AJ’s around here somewhere.” Kevin looked around the sea of faces and spotted AJ’s. He gestured at Nick and AJ’s eyes lit up as he immediately made his way over. “Ah, here he comes. I’ll catch up with you later,” he said and left just as AJ arrived.
“Nick! I’m glad you could make it!” AJ said excitedly, engaging him in one of those handshake/half-hug combos guys did.
“Just wanted to stop by to see how you’re doing,” he responded casually.
“I’m doing just great. Can I get you a drink? A beer?”
“Yeah, a beer would be great.” AJ disappeared for quick minute and returned with two beers, one for Nick and one for himself. “Thanks man.” Nick lifted his beer in appreciation.
“Of course. Here I’ll introduce you to some of my friends.”
Nick followed AJ through the place, taking a few sips of his drink in hopes of calming down a little. While they were walking into a different room, he leaned down so AJ could hear him over the music and conversation. “Not trying to be all nurse-y or anything, but you aren’t on any medication right now, are you?”
AJ laughed and took a swig of his beer. “No, I’m not. I know better than that, Nick. The nurse that discharged me taught me well.” They approached a group of people that AJ introduced as his globetrotting friends. The ice was broken quickly and Nick was soon telling stories about all his latest adventures.
A few hours and a couple more beers later, Nick had definitely loosened up and easily made a boatload of new acquaintances. He met all the people AJ talked about, including Brian’s wife Leighanne and Kevin’s girlfriend, Kristin. He became the hit of the party, second only to AJ, with his jokes, stories, and even professional advice.
AJ too was captured by Nick’s charm, even more so than before. He, along with his guests, erupted in laughter as Nick reached the punch line of another tale. He finished off the rest of his beer and set the empty bottle down on a table. He made his way over to Nick. “They like you. They really like you.”
“What can I say? Get a couple of these in me, and I’m like a new person.” Nick took another sip of his beer and smiled.
“Nah, you just have more to say. You wanna go out for some fresh air?” AJ led them out onto the balcony that extended out from the living room. Nick shivered a little as the cold night air hit his skin. AJ shut the glass sliding door behind them and sat on one of the two patio chairs. Nick followed suit and occupied the other.
“I’m happy you decided to come.”
“I’m happy I did too. I met a lot of great people tonight.”
“Kevin and I do only hang out with the finest.”
Nick smirked at that declaration and held the bottle up to his mouth. “You know, it was actually Elaine’s idea that we should come,” he said before letting the alcohol enter his mouth.
“Oh yeah? How’s she doing? Where is she?”
“She’s well, just got back from the honeymoon. Shame couldn’t make it tonight though. She’s covering another nurse’s shift.”
The two gazed out over the balcony into the night sky. A bunch of thoughts clouded AJ’s mind. He tried to think of what the next topic of conversation should be, but came up with nothing. It must’ve been the alcohol. Meanwhile Nick looked up at the stars and, in his somewhat inebriated state, repeated a rhyme from his childhood days in his head: Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish-
Then other man came up with something to say and disturbed his wish. “I was really hoping you would come tonight.”
“I would’ve brought the rest of the crew if I could.” He looked back up to the sky.
“I know. But I was really hoping you,” AJ paused and reached over to lightly rest his hand on Nick’s thigh, “would come tonight.”
Nick’s felt his entire body tense up upon the contact. His mouth went dry as he swallowed all the saliva in his mouth. His palms were sweaty and the beer bottle almost slipped from his grasp. He felt…funny. It must’ve been the alcohol. He slowly moved stare from the stars and down to his thigh where-yup, there was AJ’s tattooed hand resting on his left thigh.
Within the next couple of seconds, Nick felt himself sober up quickly. Alarms and red flags were going up all over the inside of his head. His brain regained control of his body and soon he was up on his feet. He mumbled something that resembled, “I should probably go now,” and rushed off the patio without a second glance. Nick faked a smile as he said goodbye to all the people that remained at the party and thanked Kevin for having him. He grabbed his jacket off the chair he had left it and departed. He got in his car and sped off in the direction of his home.
AJ’s heart raced as he replayed the scene that had just unfolded before him. Sure it was a bold move on his part, but he didn’t think Nick would react like that. He leaned back in the chair and rested his elbows on the armrests. What a buzz kill.
**
Nick straightened his stack of patient printouts after receiving report from the respective evening shift nurses. He set them down on one of the counters and pulled up the sleeves of the long-sleeved shirt he wore under his scrub top so that he could properly wash his hands. As he grabbed a couple paper towels, Elaine appeared next to him, bumping him out of the way with her hip so she could get to the sink as well.
“Excuse you, miss,” he said jokingly, tossing the paper towels into the garbage.
“So how was AJ’s party the other night? I’m sorry I had to bail, but Marie sounded so sick when she called me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nick waved his hand. He decided to ignore the first part of her question and walked back to the counter where he had set his papers.
She followed him. “Did you have fun?” she rephrased.
Nick cleared his throat. “I met some nice people, had a couple beers, it was really chill.”
“See, I knew you’d have a good time! How did AJ look?”
“Good, good. He’s still using the cane, but he’s doing his thing.” Elaine was surprised at Nick’s short replies. She wanted to know more, but she then she remembered they have a whole 8-hour shift ahead of them. Too bad, Nick continued to give abrupt answers.
**
AJ was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee when Kevin came out of his room wearing only a pair of sweatpants. They had lived with each other long enough that Kevin was comfortable walking around without a shirt on. At first he felt awkward knowing AJ liked both men and women, but got over it when AJ pointed out that he wasn’t his type. Kevin was relieved, but still found himself to be offended from time to time. He liked to think he appealed to both sexes.
“Is it weird that I’m still weirded out that your nurse came to the party?” Kevin walked into the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee, and joined AJ at the table.
“A little bit, yeah.” He turned the page without looking up. “I’m over it.”
Kevin took a sip of his coffee, wincing when he realized it was a lot hotter than he was expecting. “I thought you wanted him to come.”
“I did. And he did. End of story.” He still didn’t move his eyes from the article he was reading.
Kevin was unsatisfied with AJ’s short answers. “What the hell happened on Saturday? You make a move and he rejected you or something?” AJ finally looked up from the paper, glaring at Kevin. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
AJ returned to the newspaper. “Not your fault.”
Kevin took another sip of his beverage, more cautiously this time. “Have you talked to him at all since?”
“I called him a couple times over the past two days, but nothing.”
“Did you leave messages?”
“Every time.”
“He’s probably just busy. And he probably sleeps all day since he works the late night shift. He’ll get back to you,” he assured, even though he didn’t really believe himself.
“Thanks Kev.”
“Or if you don’t hear from him, you could go to the hospital,” he suggested alternatively.
AJ looked up at Kevin. What he had to say had the potential to be helpful. “Isn’t that a little pushy?”
“Yeah. But you could just be like, ‘look I know you haven’t returned my calls for a reason, but I just want you to know,’ and then tell him what you wanna say.”
AJ rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “But I don’t know when he works. Sometimes he has the early evening shift.”
Kevin realized that he brought up a good point. “Then take a chance.”
“All right. I’ll think about it. I could probably drop by after rehearsal later tonight.”
“Your call.”
“Yeah, I think I will.” Kevin reached over and grabbed the sports section of the newspaper while AJ formulated some sort of game plan. He thought of what he wanted to say and different ways to say it. Nothing seemed right in his head so he thought, Fuck it. I’ll just wing it like I do everything else.
**
Rehearsal had gone later than expected so he didn’t get to the hospital until a little after midnight. AJ found a parking spot close to the entrance of the hospital. He really hadn’t expected to be back there so soon. He turned off the engine and remained in the vehicle, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He missed his motorcycle dearly and was reluctant to have to drive his car everywhere now. Oh well, when everything was resolved with the insurance and cash flow was back, he’d get himself a new one. Maybe. He was still pretty shaken up from the accident.
Anyway.
He lowered the window so he could smoke a cigarette. Should he be there? Was this going too far? What if Nick wasn’t even working tonight? Man, he’d feel like an idiot. He continued to smoke his cigarette and contemplate every possible what if. He thought about leaving a few times too. But no, he needed to talk to Nick. And say what? Well he hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking yet.
Due to AJ’s procrastination it was now one in the morning. He dropped his cigarette onto the asphalt. He closed the window and got out of the car, stepping on the cigarette butt and making his way up to the 6th floor of the hospital. He walked the familiar halls until he reached what was once what he called home for three weeks. He glanced at the whiteboard that was used to keep track of which patient was in which room and who the nurse was. AJ’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that Nick’s name was on the board, signifying that he was indeed working.
“AJ?” a voice said behind him. He turned around and saw Elaine. A smile spread across her face as she reached up to give him a hug. “Oh my God, you look so good!”
“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself,” he winked.
“Walk with me, talk with me,” she gestured as she walked to the sink to wash her hands. AJ wobbled with his cane behind her. “What are you doing here?”
“I was actually hoping to catch Nick,” AJ replied nonchalantly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.
“He’s around here somewhere. Have a seat and I’ll sure he’ll show up soon. I’ve got a few people to attend to so-“
“Oh yeah go ahead. I’ll be fine,” he said, taking a seat outside a patient’s room. Coincidentally it was the room Nick was working in and he strolled out just a few minutes later. “Nick,” AJ called out from the chair when he walked past him.
Nick spun around on his heel to face the source of the voice, and his eyes widened when he saw AJ. “Oh.” He scratched the back of his neck. “What’s up?”
Oh great. Here he was and AJ was blanking on what to say. He probably should’ve thought this through better. “I hadn’t heard from you I just thought I’d pop in and, uh, say hi.” AJ cursed himself for being so unbelievable.
Nick knew why he was really there, but nodded understandingly anyway. “You know, I think I’ll take an early lunch break in about 30-45 minutes. If you want to hang around until then…”
“Yeah, I can do that,” he responded eagerly, almost desperately.
“Okay. I’m kind of busy right now, but you know where all the snacks and magazines and stuff are.”
“I’ll be fine.” Nick went off to fulfill his nursing duties. AJ adjusted himself in the chair so he was in a more comfortable position. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and listened to some voicemails he had ignored earlier that day. One from his mom saying hi and hopes he’s feeling well, and another from Brian thanking him for his hospitality at his party and asking him if he’d be up for a round of golf during the weekend. AJ made mental notes to call them both back. He then decided to check his email. Nothing of interest. Bored, he resorted to the games menu of his phone.
“Hey, you’re still here,” Elaine noticed as she came out of a patient’s room. “Has Nick shown his face yet?”
“He has. He said he’s gonna take an early lunch so I’m just waiting for him.”
“Gotcha,” she nodded and pulled up a chair next to him. “All my patients are officially sleeping so tell me all about what you’ve been up to since you left.” AJ began telling his former nurse about how he’d gone back to work and gotten a supporting role in a play. She returned the favor by sharing stories of her Hawaiian honeymoon.
At one point, Nick poked his head out of the medication room where he was hiding. Or well not hiding, but-okay yeah he was hiding. Ten minutes had passed from the time he told AJ he would be ready to take his lunch. Truth was that Nick was scared? nervous? about where the conversation with AJ would lead. He had received his calls and messages, and he was going to call him back. Eventually. Nick usually prided himself on his people skills, but the last several days have started to make him seriously doubt himself. He looked up a few things on a patient of his on the computer, scribbled notes on the respective printout, found his balls, and exited the med room.
He walked to where AJ was sitting, now by himself as Elaine had some things to attend to. “Sorry about that. I got tied up.”
“That’s cool. Is it your lunch break?”
“Yeah, let me just tell Elaine and Julie that I’m going off the floor.” AJ waited patiently for Nick to report off to his co-workers. “All right,” he returned. “We can go down to the cafeteria.”
The two journeyed to the first floor of the hospital to the cafeteria, making random small talk, avoiding the subject that lingered over both of them. Nick bought himself a salad and offered to buy AJ a snack, but he refused. The two chose a table and sat across from the other. AJ watched Nick drizzle half of the dressing that accompanied the salad onto the lettuce before tossing it as best he could. Nick felt AJ’s eyes on him, but he didn’t look up. They waited in silence to see who would be the first to talk.
It was AJ, naturally. “So I know there’s a legit excuse as to why you haven’t returned my calls, but I came here tonight to tell you that I’m sorry about what happened at the party. I don’t know if I can completely blame it on the alcohol, but it was inappropriate and I apologize for making you uncomfortable.” For not knowing what to say, that was pretty good; AJ was impressed with himself.
Nick shook his head while he finished chewing and swallowing the food in his mouth. “No, no. I’m sorry for the way I acted. I really don’t know why I flipped my shit like that. That wasn’t cool at all.”
AJ played with a napkin between his hands. “Call it even then?”
“For sure.” Even though it sounded like everything was okay, each man still felt slightly discontent. There were not enough words in the world to change the fact that AJ came onto Nick and Nick knew that he was coming on to him.
“If it’s okay with you, I’d be down to hang out some time. Grab a bite to eat, see a movie.” AJ spoke cautiously, trying hard to choose the right words for the situation.
Nick wiped some dressing off his mouth. “I’d like that. I’ve missed having you around to talk to during these late night shifts,” he admitted shyly, refusing to make eye contact.
For the first time in his life, AJ took a compliment silently. “Well I’m happy we got this mess all sorted out. It would’ve sucked for it to just end all awkwardly like that.” Nick nodded his head in agreement, wiping his mouth one last time. “I miss talking to you too.”
Nick tidied up his section of the table. “How about I look at my schedule for the next week and I’ll give you a call and we can set something up?”
“Yeah that sounds good.” AJ looked at the clock on the wall. 2:34am. “I think it’s time for me to head out now.”
“And I should get back to work. I’ll call you,” Nick repeated in a promising voice. They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.
Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
It had been two weeks since AJ had been released from the hospital. He was doing absolutely fine. Though he still needed his cane, he was able to return to his normal daily activities. He went back to substitute teaching, and even got a supporting role in a local production. Rehearsals had been going on for a couple days now. The AJ everyone knew and loved was back.
Except for two weeks he couldn’t get his mind off Nick. Why? Hell if he knew. He tried to keep himself busy in hopes of shaking the thoughts, but they always found their way back. The image of him in the side mirror waving liked to flash itself in his memory at random times. Then he would go back and reread the journal he kept to remind himself of what they talked about. Funny, the last week of his hospital stay was all about Nick. About how good he was with his work, about how he legitimately cared for each one of his patients, about how genuine his smile was every time.
AJ needed a new hobby. Fortunately he and Kevin were planning a party in his honor, a “glad you’re not dead” party as his roommate so kindly put it. They’d already discussed the food and drink menu and were now working on the guest list.
“Who do you want there?” Kevin asked, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.
AJ shrugged. “All the people we normally invite when we have parties?”
Kevin set the pen down without writing anything. “Works for me.”
“I don’t know who else we’d invite. Call your friends, I’ll call mine…” AJ’s voice drifted off as his mind somehow found its way back to the topic of Nick. “Would it be weird if,” he paused and Kevin raised his eyebrows at him, interested in what was to follow. “Would it be weird if I invited the nurses from the hospital?”
Kevin wanted to make a smartass comment-AJ saw it in his face-but he refrained. “Not at all. But what are the odds that they’d actually show up?”
AJ’s facial expression faded into a blank stare. “Yeah. I mean. I was just thinking it’d be a nice gesture since they all helped keep me alive. And this is a glad-you’re-not-dead party.”
“It is a nice gesture, and I’m not telling you to not invite them. Just saying the likelihood of their attendance is not looking good so don’t get your hopes up.”
“Yeah.” He repeated. He stood up from his seat and grabbed his cane. “I’m gonna go for a walk.”
“You okay by yourself?” Before Kevin could finish his sentence, AJ was already out the door.
**
It had been over two weeks since AJ left the hospital. Patients came and went, but not a day passed that Nick didn’t think about AJ. He missed the company. When AJ was still on the unit, it felt like Nick only had three patients while the fourth was really a friend whose room he could escape to and hang out in. It’s not that his current patients were boring; it’s just they weren’t as interesting. And he somehow always got stuck with the old patients. They were sweet and he loved them all dearly, but when he wasn’t changing diapers, he was listening to stories about the Depression.
Nick idly sat at one of the computers, going through the monotony of charting unscheduled medications and looking up lab results. Out of the corner his eye, he saw someone in a swivel chair roll up next to him. He looked over at the other nurse. “What’s up, Elaine?” She had returned from her honeymoon just days ago.
“Oh nothing. All my people are asleep, but look what I found in the med room.” She waved a small note card in front of him.
“What is it?” He logged off the computer and gave her his full attention. She handed the card to him. He opened it and read to himself:
To the wonderful nurses of 6 North:
You all were such a big help after my accident, and I would probably be dead if it wasn’t for you. My roommate’s throwing a “Glad You’re Not Dead” party for me, and I would be greatly honored to see any of you there. The details are on the back.
AJ McLean
“Oh. That’s nice of him.” Nick remarked, trying to hide any trace of emotion.
“We should go!” Elaine’s voice was way too cheerful for 4:12am.
Nick gave her a look as he set the card down. “You really think so?”
“He invited the nurses of 6 North. We’re nurses of 6 North. We both took care of him. Why not?”
He reached for a nearby chart to make some notes. “He was probably just doing it to be nice. He’s not really expecting any of us to show up.”
“And that’s the fun part. He’s not expecting it. Last time I saw him he was malnourished and not peeing.”
“Then you should go,” he said without looking up.
“Come on, Nick! It’ll be fun.”
He sighed as he stopped writing and reached for the invitation to look at the back. “This Saturday,” he read. “I don’t know if I’m working.”
“I checked. We’re both off.” He glared, but she smiled wider. “We’ll go, have a drink, stay for an hour or two, then go.”
“Why don’t you just go with your husband?”
“I’ve already decided he’s coming too.”
“So then I’m gonna be the third wheel?”
“Maybe you’ll meet someone there.” She grinned, and Nick rolled his eyes. “What, do you have other plans or something?” Well no, of course he didn’t. He didn’t know why he was being so difficult. It would be nice to see him again. But wasn’t that weird? Crossing the patient-nurse border?
“Fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “Pick me up at 8?” Elaine smiled victoriously. “Should we call and say we’re coming?”
“No it’ll be okay,” she waved her hand in air. “What do you think you’re gonna wear?”
“You’re kidding, right?” At that moment a call light went off and the two looked around the unit to see whom it belonged to. Nick. “Duty calls!” he stood up from his chair and patted Elaine on the head before going to check on his patient. What was he going to wear?
**
Nick tried on what was probably the third shirt in the last 20 minutes. It’s not like he even had that wide of a selection to choose from, but nothing seemed right. What was one supposed to wear to a former patient’s party anyway? He decided the black Lacoste polo he had just put on would suffice. He moved from looking in his closet mirror to looking in his bathroom mirror, trying to decide what to do with his hair. He decided to do it like he did any other day: put some product in it and let it take care of itself. Even if it stuck out every which way, he still managed to make it work. He washed his hands using his favorite foaming antibacterial soap from Bath & Body Works (Warm Vanilla Sugar, germs don’t just live in the hospital) before going back to his closet for a pair of shoes. If there was one thing he did have a wide selection of, it was footwear. He had all sorts of colors, styles, brands. Some men collected comic books, others collected cars, he collected shoes. He selected a pair of neon green and black sneakers.
Nick looked at himself in the mirror once again, smoothing out the wrinkles in his jeans. He wondered why he cared so much about what he looked like. It was just a party. And he was gonna know a grand total of one, maybe two people. His thoughts then wandered to why he was even going. Earlier that day, Elaine had notified him that she offered to cover a shift for a sick co-worker and thus she wouldn’t make it to the party. She also somehow persuaded him to go without her anyway. In any other situation, Nick probably would’ve opted to stay in and read a book or watch a movie.
But instead for some reason, here he was standing in front of the coat closet in his living room at 9:14pm Saturday night, debating whether he should bring a sweater or jacket. He chose a light jacket and draped it over his arm before grabbing his keys, wallet, phone, and printed directions off the kitchen table. He left a single light on so it wouldn’t be too dark when he returned to his apartment later that night.
Nick had a few friends that lived in the same general area as AJ, only about 15 to 20 minutes from his own place, so he found AJ’s apartment complex easily. Getting out of his car was the hard part. He was still questioning why he was there, if he should even be there. There was a potential that he could be in a very awkward situation. Oh what the hell. He made a living off walking into strangers’ hospital rooms every day and asking about the consistency of their poop. How much more awkward than that could it get?
He sat in the car and made a deal with himself: stay for at least an hour starting from the time you walk in the door. If you’re not having a good time, make up an excuse to leave. Nick repeated this to himself as he finally got out of his car and proceeded to the correct apartment suite. He pressed the doorbell once and waited patiently. Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open and Kevin stood before him.
Kevin blinked a couple times. “Hey, you’re the nurse!” Nick noticed the faint smell of alcohol on his breath and excused his forwardness.
“Uh yeah, I’m Nick. Kevin, right?” Nick stuck his hand out to shake his, only to have Kevin grab it and pull him into the apartment.
“Come on in.” Kevin guided Nick into what he presumed was normally the living room when it wasn’t crowded with people. “Drinks are over there, food right here. AJ’s around here somewhere.” Kevin looked around the sea of faces and spotted AJ’s. He gestured at Nick and AJ’s eyes lit up as he immediately made his way over. “Ah, here he comes. I’ll catch up with you later,” he said and left just as AJ arrived.
“Nick! I’m glad you could make it!” AJ said excitedly, engaging him in one of those handshake/half-hug combos guys did.
“Just wanted to stop by to see how you’re doing,” he responded casually.
“I’m doing just great. Can I get you a drink? A beer?”
“Yeah, a beer would be great.” AJ disappeared for quick minute and returned with two beers, one for Nick and one for himself. “Thanks man.” Nick lifted his beer in appreciation.
“Of course. Here I’ll introduce you to some of my friends.”
Nick followed AJ through the place, taking a few sips of his drink in hopes of calming down a little. While they were walking into a different room, he leaned down so AJ could hear him over the music and conversation. “Not trying to be all nurse-y or anything, but you aren’t on any medication right now, are you?”
AJ laughed and took a swig of his beer. “No, I’m not. I know better than that, Nick. The nurse that discharged me taught me well.” They approached a group of people that AJ introduced as his globetrotting friends. The ice was broken quickly and Nick was soon telling stories about all his latest adventures.
A few hours and a couple more beers later, Nick had definitely loosened up and easily made a boatload of new acquaintances. He met all the people AJ talked about, including Brian’s wife Leighanne and Kevin’s girlfriend, Kristin. He became the hit of the party, second only to AJ, with his jokes, stories, and even professional advice.
AJ too was captured by Nick’s charm, even more so than before. He, along with his guests, erupted in laughter as Nick reached the punch line of another tale. He finished off the rest of his beer and set the empty bottle down on a table. He made his way over to Nick. “They like you. They really like you.”
“What can I say? Get a couple of these in me, and I’m like a new person.” Nick took another sip of his beer and smiled.
“Nah, you just have more to say. You wanna go out for some fresh air?” AJ led them out onto the balcony that extended out from the living room. Nick shivered a little as the cold night air hit his skin. AJ shut the glass sliding door behind them and sat on one of the two patio chairs. Nick followed suit and occupied the other.
“I’m happy you decided to come.”
“I’m happy I did too. I met a lot of great people tonight.”
“Kevin and I do only hang out with the finest.”
Nick smirked at that declaration and held the bottle up to his mouth. “You know, it was actually Elaine’s idea that we should come,” he said before letting the alcohol enter his mouth.
“Oh yeah? How’s she doing? Where is she?”
“She’s well, just got back from the honeymoon. Shame couldn’t make it tonight though. She’s covering another nurse’s shift.”
The two gazed out over the balcony into the night sky. A bunch of thoughts clouded AJ’s mind. He tried to think of what the next topic of conversation should be, but came up with nothing. It must’ve been the alcohol. Meanwhile Nick looked up at the stars and, in his somewhat inebriated state, repeated a rhyme from his childhood days in his head: Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish-
Then other man came up with something to say and disturbed his wish. “I was really hoping you would come tonight.”
“I would’ve brought the rest of the crew if I could.” He looked back up to the sky.
“I know. But I was really hoping you,” AJ paused and reached over to lightly rest his hand on Nick’s thigh, “would come tonight.”
Nick’s felt his entire body tense up upon the contact. His mouth went dry as he swallowed all the saliva in his mouth. His palms were sweaty and the beer bottle almost slipped from his grasp. He felt…funny. It must’ve been the alcohol. He slowly moved stare from the stars and down to his thigh where-yup, there was AJ’s tattooed hand resting on his left thigh.
Within the next couple of seconds, Nick felt himself sober up quickly. Alarms and red flags were going up all over the inside of his head. His brain regained control of his body and soon he was up on his feet. He mumbled something that resembled, “I should probably go now,” and rushed off the patio without a second glance. Nick faked a smile as he said goodbye to all the people that remained at the party and thanked Kevin for having him. He grabbed his jacket off the chair he had left it and departed. He got in his car and sped off in the direction of his home.
AJ’s heart raced as he replayed the scene that had just unfolded before him. Sure it was a bold move on his part, but he didn’t think Nick would react like that. He leaned back in the chair and rested his elbows on the armrests. What a buzz kill.
**
Nick straightened his stack of patient printouts after receiving report from the respective evening shift nurses. He set them down on one of the counters and pulled up the sleeves of the long-sleeved shirt he wore under his scrub top so that he could properly wash his hands. As he grabbed a couple paper towels, Elaine appeared next to him, bumping him out of the way with her hip so she could get to the sink as well.
“Excuse you, miss,” he said jokingly, tossing the paper towels into the garbage.
“So how was AJ’s party the other night? I’m sorry I had to bail, but Marie sounded so sick when she called me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nick waved his hand. He decided to ignore the first part of her question and walked back to the counter where he had set his papers.
She followed him. “Did you have fun?” she rephrased.
Nick cleared his throat. “I met some nice people, had a couple beers, it was really chill.”
“See, I knew you’d have a good time! How did AJ look?”
“Good, good. He’s still using the cane, but he’s doing his thing.” Elaine was surprised at Nick’s short replies. She wanted to know more, but she then she remembered they have a whole 8-hour shift ahead of them. Too bad, Nick continued to give abrupt answers.
**
AJ was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee when Kevin came out of his room wearing only a pair of sweatpants. They had lived with each other long enough that Kevin was comfortable walking around without a shirt on. At first he felt awkward knowing AJ liked both men and women, but got over it when AJ pointed out that he wasn’t his type. Kevin was relieved, but still found himself to be offended from time to time. He liked to think he appealed to both sexes.
“Is it weird that I’m still weirded out that your nurse came to the party?” Kevin walked into the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee, and joined AJ at the table.
“A little bit, yeah.” He turned the page without looking up. “I’m over it.”
Kevin took a sip of his coffee, wincing when he realized it was a lot hotter than he was expecting. “I thought you wanted him to come.”
“I did. And he did. End of story.” He still didn’t move his eyes from the article he was reading.
Kevin was unsatisfied with AJ’s short answers. “What the hell happened on Saturday? You make a move and he rejected you or something?” AJ finally looked up from the paper, glaring at Kevin. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
AJ returned to the newspaper. “Not your fault.”
Kevin took another sip of his beverage, more cautiously this time. “Have you talked to him at all since?”
“I called him a couple times over the past two days, but nothing.”
“Did you leave messages?”
“Every time.”
“He’s probably just busy. And he probably sleeps all day since he works the late night shift. He’ll get back to you,” he assured, even though he didn’t really believe himself.
“Thanks Kev.”
“Or if you don’t hear from him, you could go to the hospital,” he suggested alternatively.
AJ looked up at Kevin. What he had to say had the potential to be helpful. “Isn’t that a little pushy?”
“Yeah. But you could just be like, ‘look I know you haven’t returned my calls for a reason, but I just want you to know,’ and then tell him what you wanna say.”
AJ rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “But I don’t know when he works. Sometimes he has the early evening shift.”
Kevin realized that he brought up a good point. “Then take a chance.”
“All right. I’ll think about it. I could probably drop by after rehearsal later tonight.”
“Your call.”
“Yeah, I think I will.” Kevin reached over and grabbed the sports section of the newspaper while AJ formulated some sort of game plan. He thought of what he wanted to say and different ways to say it. Nothing seemed right in his head so he thought, Fuck it. I’ll just wing it like I do everything else.
**
Rehearsal had gone later than expected so he didn’t get to the hospital until a little after midnight. AJ found a parking spot close to the entrance of the hospital. He really hadn’t expected to be back there so soon. He turned off the engine and remained in the vehicle, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He missed his motorcycle dearly and was reluctant to have to drive his car everywhere now. Oh well, when everything was resolved with the insurance and cash flow was back, he’d get himself a new one. Maybe. He was still pretty shaken up from the accident.
Anyway.
He lowered the window so he could smoke a cigarette. Should he be there? Was this going too far? What if Nick wasn’t even working tonight? Man, he’d feel like an idiot. He continued to smoke his cigarette and contemplate every possible what if. He thought about leaving a few times too. But no, he needed to talk to Nick. And say what? Well he hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking yet.
Due to AJ’s procrastination it was now one in the morning. He dropped his cigarette onto the asphalt. He closed the window and got out of the car, stepping on the cigarette butt and making his way up to the 6th floor of the hospital. He walked the familiar halls until he reached what was once what he called home for three weeks. He glanced at the whiteboard that was used to keep track of which patient was in which room and who the nurse was. AJ’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that Nick’s name was on the board, signifying that he was indeed working.
“AJ?” a voice said behind him. He turned around and saw Elaine. A smile spread across her face as she reached up to give him a hug. “Oh my God, you look so good!”
“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself,” he winked.
“Walk with me, talk with me,” she gestured as she walked to the sink to wash her hands. AJ wobbled with his cane behind her. “What are you doing here?”
“I was actually hoping to catch Nick,” AJ replied nonchalantly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.
“He’s around here somewhere. Have a seat and I’ll sure he’ll show up soon. I’ve got a few people to attend to so-“
“Oh yeah go ahead. I’ll be fine,” he said, taking a seat outside a patient’s room. Coincidentally it was the room Nick was working in and he strolled out just a few minutes later. “Nick,” AJ called out from the chair when he walked past him.
Nick spun around on his heel to face the source of the voice, and his eyes widened when he saw AJ. “Oh.” He scratched the back of his neck. “What’s up?”
Oh great. Here he was and AJ was blanking on what to say. He probably should’ve thought this through better. “I hadn’t heard from you I just thought I’d pop in and, uh, say hi.” AJ cursed himself for being so unbelievable.
Nick knew why he was really there, but nodded understandingly anyway. “You know, I think I’ll take an early lunch break in about 30-45 minutes. If you want to hang around until then…”
“Yeah, I can do that,” he responded eagerly, almost desperately.
“Okay. I’m kind of busy right now, but you know where all the snacks and magazines and stuff are.”
“I’ll be fine.” Nick went off to fulfill his nursing duties. AJ adjusted himself in the chair so he was in a more comfortable position. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and listened to some voicemails he had ignored earlier that day. One from his mom saying hi and hopes he’s feeling well, and another from Brian thanking him for his hospitality at his party and asking him if he’d be up for a round of golf during the weekend. AJ made mental notes to call them both back. He then decided to check his email. Nothing of interest. Bored, he resorted to the games menu of his phone.
“Hey, you’re still here,” Elaine noticed as she came out of a patient’s room. “Has Nick shown his face yet?”
“He has. He said he’s gonna take an early lunch so I’m just waiting for him.”
“Gotcha,” she nodded and pulled up a chair next to him. “All my patients are officially sleeping so tell me all about what you’ve been up to since you left.” AJ began telling his former nurse about how he’d gone back to work and gotten a supporting role in a play. She returned the favor by sharing stories of her Hawaiian honeymoon.
At one point, Nick poked his head out of the medication room where he was hiding. Or well not hiding, but-okay yeah he was hiding. Ten minutes had passed from the time he told AJ he would be ready to take his lunch. Truth was that Nick was scared? nervous? about where the conversation with AJ would lead. He had received his calls and messages, and he was going to call him back. Eventually. Nick usually prided himself on his people skills, but the last several days have started to make him seriously doubt himself. He looked up a few things on a patient of his on the computer, scribbled notes on the respective printout, found his balls, and exited the med room.
He walked to where AJ was sitting, now by himself as Elaine had some things to attend to. “Sorry about that. I got tied up.”
“That’s cool. Is it your lunch break?”
“Yeah, let me just tell Elaine and Julie that I’m going off the floor.” AJ waited patiently for Nick to report off to his co-workers. “All right,” he returned. “We can go down to the cafeteria.”
The two journeyed to the first floor of the hospital to the cafeteria, making random small talk, avoiding the subject that lingered over both of them. Nick bought himself a salad and offered to buy AJ a snack, but he refused. The two chose a table and sat across from the other. AJ watched Nick drizzle half of the dressing that accompanied the salad onto the lettuce before tossing it as best he could. Nick felt AJ’s eyes on him, but he didn’t look up. They waited in silence to see who would be the first to talk.
It was AJ, naturally. “So I know there’s a legit excuse as to why you haven’t returned my calls, but I came here tonight to tell you that I’m sorry about what happened at the party. I don’t know if I can completely blame it on the alcohol, but it was inappropriate and I apologize for making you uncomfortable.” For not knowing what to say, that was pretty good; AJ was impressed with himself.
Nick shook his head while he finished chewing and swallowing the food in his mouth. “No, no. I’m sorry for the way I acted. I really don’t know why I flipped my shit like that. That wasn’t cool at all.”
AJ played with a napkin between his hands. “Call it even then?”
“For sure.” Even though it sounded like everything was okay, each man still felt slightly discontent. There were not enough words in the world to change the fact that AJ came onto Nick and Nick knew that he was coming on to him.
“If it’s okay with you, I’d be down to hang out some time. Grab a bite to eat, see a movie.” AJ spoke cautiously, trying hard to choose the right words for the situation.
Nick wiped some dressing off his mouth. “I’d like that. I’ve missed having you around to talk to during these late night shifts,” he admitted shyly, refusing to make eye contact.
For the first time in his life, AJ took a compliment silently. “Well I’m happy we got this mess all sorted out. It would’ve sucked for it to just end all awkwardly like that.” Nick nodded his head in agreement, wiping his mouth one last time. “I miss talking to you too.”
Nick tidied up his section of the table. “How about I look at my schedule for the next week and I’ll give you a call and we can set something up?”
“Yeah that sounds good.” AJ looked at the clock on the wall. 2:34am. “I think it’s time for me to head out now.”
“And I should get back to work. I’ll call you,” Nick repeated in a promising voice. They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.
Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5