and i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad (i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take)
Happy New Year!
Time goes faster as an adult. So many things I was told I would understand when I'm older-often I still don't, like the casual cruelty of the super-rich or the mass shift towards fascism of the political right in America not to mention that it's somehow acceptable to Christians of any kind-but I do see that time goes faster.
My abuela isn't doing well. She's 84, and her heart stopped at one point and the doctor just happened to be visiting to do that voodoo they do (probs CPR), and anyway, so my father and I think her time is coming soon. I love her and I've been thinking about her a lot. I'm so grateful to her for a lot of reasons-definitely one of my favorite relatives, and I miss her like crazy.
But also in an adult-y way I've accepted death much more than before??? Probs that's meditating on how my dog on her way out tho, not like, expediently but just because she's fourteen, you know. My mother-in-love didn't like the joke at Thanksgiving about the best way for her to go, which, fair! (I'm facetious most of the time but the sarcasm can be deadpan af --> sarchasm.)
I don't hike enough for this to be likely, nor leave the dog unsupervised at any time, but regardless I remain firm on this:
Best way for dog or me to go-- mountain lion. Never even see it coming! Think about it: If a great white or seal bites me when I'm swimming, they won't even enjoy me! Why NOT mountain lion?
Especially since they're not doing super good thanks to the CZU fires, and I believe wholeheartedly they deserve a good meal--and let's not neglect to imagine HOW AWESOME that epitaph would be:
Erika went out like she came in, through MAJESTIC pussy.
And now for something completely different! Here's some new resolutions, more short term this year:
In the next three months, I want to nurture my creativity by engaging in active recreation-by this I mean rather than passive consumption of media, I wish to create new works while engaging with the world around me in a relaxing and nourishing way.
I want to encourage my inner critic to release its vehemence which was necessary when it worked so hard to shield me from harmful and toxic soul-crushing, and now can transmute into a gentle and thoughtful advisor.
I would like to meditate regularly. I choose to set my intentions to be concrete here by meditating before lunch every day. No restriction on length-5 minutes would be fantastic. Just every day or as regularly as I can.
I'm proud of my desire to grow. Originally posted at Dreamwidth. Comment there (
), or feel free to comment here.
Time goes faster as an adult. So many things I was told I would understand when I'm older-often I still don't, like the casual cruelty of the super-rich or the mass shift towards fascism of the political right in America not to mention that it's somehow acceptable to Christians of any kind-but I do see that time goes faster.
My abuela isn't doing well. She's 84, and her heart stopped at one point and the doctor just happened to be visiting to do that voodoo they do (probs CPR), and anyway, so my father and I think her time is coming soon. I love her and I've been thinking about her a lot. I'm so grateful to her for a lot of reasons-definitely one of my favorite relatives, and I miss her like crazy.
But also in an adult-y way I've accepted death much more than before??? Probs that's meditating on how my dog on her way out tho, not like, expediently but just because she's fourteen, you know. My mother-in-love didn't like the joke at Thanksgiving about the best way for her to go, which, fair! (I'm facetious most of the time but the sarcasm can be deadpan af --> sarchasm.)
I don't hike enough for this to be likely, nor leave the dog unsupervised at any time, but regardless I remain firm on this:
Best way for dog or me to go-- mountain lion. Never even see it coming! Think about it: If a great white or seal bites me when I'm swimming, they won't even enjoy me! Why NOT mountain lion?
Especially since they're not doing super good thanks to the CZU fires, and I believe wholeheartedly they deserve a good meal--and let's not neglect to imagine HOW AWESOME that epitaph would be:
Erika went out like she came in, through MAJESTIC pussy.
And now for something completely different! Here's some new resolutions, more short term this year:
In the next three months, I want to nurture my creativity by engaging in active recreation-by this I mean rather than passive consumption of media, I wish to create new works while engaging with the world around me in a relaxing and nourishing way.
I want to encourage my inner critic to release its vehemence which was necessary when it worked so hard to shield me from harmful and toxic soul-crushing, and now can transmute into a gentle and thoughtful advisor.
I would like to meditate regularly. I choose to set my intentions to be concrete here by meditating before lunch every day. No restriction on length-5 minutes would be fantastic. Just every day or as regularly as I can.
I'm proud of my desire to grow. Originally posted at Dreamwidth. Comment there (
), or feel free to comment here.