Hello Stress...it's going to get better! (I keep telling myself that!)
Work is bugging me. Things were going well for a while. My boss and I were a good team and the facility was running really well. I am still doing well, it's just the "health" of the facility and community is ailing. My co-workers and I are getting frustrated. We're trying to help change things but the residents just seem to have given up caring. You have to understand, my job is in a therapeutic community. Staff are all part of the community. Although I and the other staff cannot really blame ourselves when our clients relapse or are going through some difficulties they need to overcome and are acting out as a result, the actions of a few people within the community can have an effect on everyone- staff and other residents.
So work is stressful right now. I am (was) supervising a girl who was just stressing me out. This is probably just not the right job for her. She tried but she made a lot of errors in judgment and did quite a few inappropriate things which are just beyond repair. I was hoping we could give her just "one more chance" especially since I spent an hour in supervision with her and it was just draining me. The regional Director has recommended terminating her. I feel awful this time. I've terminated people before but I reassured her she was not being terminated, we would give her another chance, I would help her grow etc. My boss has said it would come from him and he would help clean up the mess. I just feel rotten. Things will get better. I'll help hire someone new and then train them all over. It's just things will be a LOT more difficult for me until then. When we are down a counselor, I have to pick up the "abandoned" caseload and then do some repair work with them after their counselor leaves. My workload will double. But hopefully it's just a few weeks.
I've been knitting. I LOVE it! I've made a bunch of scarves, a little headscarf that I wear in the house to keep my hair back, and a sweater vest. The sweater vest was my first big garment and I wore it to work yesterday. So proud of myself! I did have one knitting disaster (so far). It was a Lion pattern for a baby blanket knitted on the bias using size 50 Speed Stix. It was my first time using Speed Stix also. I must have screwed something up. I had to rip out some rows and it probably threw off the pattern because it was not really a good rectangle shape. Since the stitch was so big, the blanket just "moved" and shifted shape when you picked it up. It was like a big trapezoid! It matched Ian's room coincidentally so I kept it and then had to run out and buy a new baby gift for the person I was making it for.
I love knitting because it gives me time to think. It is relaxing. The minute detail is relaxing for me. I am focusing my attention on my stiches and yet I can just allow my mind to wander freely. I can still watch the baby while I knit. Unlike surfing the internet or being on LJ, I can keep an eye on him. If I go on the computer now, it means he is roaming free and probably breaking something. He does love my yarn. He grabbed the end of my yarn. It was Incredible brand yarn and was a bright color. He ran around and around the ottoman leaving a trail of yarn behind him, laughing the entire time. I was saying "No! Ian, Stop!" and it just made him laugh more. Yes, yarn is fun. Untangling it is not.
For a while I was going to yarn stores on my breaks. Half the time I would not buy anything. I just wanted to admitre the yarns, feel the textures, think up things to make with them, look at the colors! I told Brian this and he thought that was kinda creepy. You don't understand until you learn to knit/crochet!
Today I just started on a hat I am making my sister's friend. She is about 30 and is being treated for breast cancer. The poor girl was diagnosed while she was pregnant. She had to make a decision and decided to carry the baby and start chemo in her third trimester. The baby was delivered early by C-section. He is pre-mature but was born at 5 lbs. He's doing fine. She is just a mess. I had mild post-partum depression after Ian. I creid every day for six weeks. I could not imagine having a newborn AND dealing with cancer. Her family has come over from Greece and is trying to help her but is making things more difficult for her. Her Grandmother and Mom won't let ehr leave the house because it is a Greek tradition for the Mom and baby to stay indoors for the first 40 days. I don't know what else to do so I am trying to knit her something and put a lot of love and healing energy into it. Maybe having a fun, brightly colored hat will help her feel pretty again while she is going through all this.
Knitting also helps my own depression and anxiety. After having my second m/c in March, I have been having some depression and anxiety on and off. Most days I am ok. Some days are a struggle just to leave the house and get to work. My problems are minuscule compared to Maria's.
I requested two days off from work. My boss understood. I told him both times I miscarried so that I could take time off if I needed to and get to doctor appointments etc. So I have a four day weekend for Mother's Day. Nice, huh? Then I'll go back in and deal with everything hopefully a little more relaxed.
So work is stressful right now. I am (was) supervising a girl who was just stressing me out. This is probably just not the right job for her. She tried but she made a lot of errors in judgment and did quite a few inappropriate things which are just beyond repair. I was hoping we could give her just "one more chance" especially since I spent an hour in supervision with her and it was just draining me. The regional Director has recommended terminating her. I feel awful this time. I've terminated people before but I reassured her she was not being terminated, we would give her another chance, I would help her grow etc. My boss has said it would come from him and he would help clean up the mess. I just feel rotten. Things will get better. I'll help hire someone new and then train them all over. It's just things will be a LOT more difficult for me until then. When we are down a counselor, I have to pick up the "abandoned" caseload and then do some repair work with them after their counselor leaves. My workload will double. But hopefully it's just a few weeks.
I've been knitting. I LOVE it! I've made a bunch of scarves, a little headscarf that I wear in the house to keep my hair back, and a sweater vest. The sweater vest was my first big garment and I wore it to work yesterday. So proud of myself! I did have one knitting disaster (so far). It was a Lion pattern for a baby blanket knitted on the bias using size 50 Speed Stix. It was my first time using Speed Stix also. I must have screwed something up. I had to rip out some rows and it probably threw off the pattern because it was not really a good rectangle shape. Since the stitch was so big, the blanket just "moved" and shifted shape when you picked it up. It was like a big trapezoid! It matched Ian's room coincidentally so I kept it and then had to run out and buy a new baby gift for the person I was making it for.
I love knitting because it gives me time to think. It is relaxing. The minute detail is relaxing for me. I am focusing my attention on my stiches and yet I can just allow my mind to wander freely. I can still watch the baby while I knit. Unlike surfing the internet or being on LJ, I can keep an eye on him. If I go on the computer now, it means he is roaming free and probably breaking something. He does love my yarn. He grabbed the end of my yarn. It was Incredible brand yarn and was a bright color. He ran around and around the ottoman leaving a trail of yarn behind him, laughing the entire time. I was saying "No! Ian, Stop!" and it just made him laugh more. Yes, yarn is fun. Untangling it is not.
For a while I was going to yarn stores on my breaks. Half the time I would not buy anything. I just wanted to admitre the yarns, feel the textures, think up things to make with them, look at the colors! I told Brian this and he thought that was kinda creepy. You don't understand until you learn to knit/crochet!
Today I just started on a hat I am making my sister's friend. She is about 30 and is being treated for breast cancer. The poor girl was diagnosed while she was pregnant. She had to make a decision and decided to carry the baby and start chemo in her third trimester. The baby was delivered early by C-section. He is pre-mature but was born at 5 lbs. He's doing fine. She is just a mess. I had mild post-partum depression after Ian. I creid every day for six weeks. I could not imagine having a newborn AND dealing with cancer. Her family has come over from Greece and is trying to help her but is making things more difficult for her. Her Grandmother and Mom won't let ehr leave the house because it is a Greek tradition for the Mom and baby to stay indoors for the first 40 days. I don't know what else to do so I am trying to knit her something and put a lot of love and healing energy into it. Maybe having a fun, brightly colored hat will help her feel pretty again while she is going through all this.
Knitting also helps my own depression and anxiety. After having my second m/c in March, I have been having some depression and anxiety on and off. Most days I am ok. Some days are a struggle just to leave the house and get to work. My problems are minuscule compared to Maria's.
I requested two days off from work. My boss understood. I told him both times I miscarried so that I could take time off if I needed to and get to doctor appointments etc. So I have a four day weekend for Mother's Day. Nice, huh? Then I'll go back in and deal with everything hopefully a little more relaxed.