(no subject)
Im tired of being calum. i want to be someone else now. maybe just for a little while i dont know maybe if i liked it more being someone else or even something else. i could stay someone else if i really liked it. maybe i need a change in surroundings. i could move to canada. my parents thuoght abuot moving to B.C. I liked it alright there. i could meet some new kids, not that my buddies right now arent great, i dont know though. maybe id be different there and my friends wuold be different and it wouldnt necessarily be better but it would be a change. i dont know. id miss my pals here but maybe i would find my soulmate or something in canada. i already have best friends ands thats cool but they have other friends too. i dont really have other friends. i mean i guess i do but my other friends are my friends other friends too. so its kind of the same thing as my other friends becasue they all know each other. theres too much for me to think about. life is fine as it is, its way better standards of living than it back in say the middle ages, but for some reason i wish i would have been alive back then. it seems more real. now everything is all about something else rather than what it really is. back then you would know what you were doing in life. now i have no idea. not that thats realy a bad thing, but i dont know. i should really stop thinking about all this kind of stuff. living in the moment is best. sometimes its hard to though. like when should be doing homework. i wonder what ill do when i grow up. i think i would like to see the world and travel alone and just take pictures and live like all the proper animals do. except for id have cameras and film and all of that. im not sure. i just dont want to be another number like everyone else. i dont really want to be famous, but i dont want to be a nobody, you know? i figured out the reason i like nightime so much is because when i do stuff at night i feel like its extra and im working overtime in life and everything is so much better because i wouldnt have normally done it since its nighttime. pho. homework is so pointless. school is so pointless. im so tired of wasting so much time there. its not natural. i kind of want to go see a shrink or physcoanalyst or whathaveyou just to talk about this kind of stuff. i guess i can just talk with my friends about it for free though. i dunno. earths so crazy. i wonder if the moon is this crazy, i bet it isnt. what if i was a supernatural being. that would be pretty crazy. i think i want to write a book or a movie or something where someone dies and i could make up a bunch of stuff about an afterlife and it would be fun just to make up anything i wanted. life is so weird. i really want to write a book. theres so much to talk about being old is going to be really depressing when i think back to me now i bet. i wish i could make myself enjoy every single moment of being a kid. too bad fucking school is here to make sure im constantly worrying about the future. stupid humans. im slowly going vegetarian i think. im going to make an effort. my familys just so conventional that when i say i want to be vegetarian theyre just like haha yeah right calum eat your dinner. i know it bothers nick when i say im trying to be vegetarian but one day ill be vegetarian and it will be okay then. hooo hum. i still want a girlfriend. or a girl who i can cuddle with. often and reliably. not someone who cuddles with everyone, i want to get my own. haha. it would be mutual of course. too bad im a lanky bitch. maybe ill get lucky. i sound like that girl i was joking yesterday. im a bastardd. haha weh. its really hot in my room. i think this is really long now. thats another cd over i guess ill do my homeowrk now. only two more years. gblar.