(no subject)
after being broken up for 2 days, i followed my heart for the first time in my life. i'm back with my boyfriend. i was really scared though, i thought i'd lose him forever, that i'd never see him again. it hurt though, being away from him for 2 days. he actually visited me at work with his mom after we had broken up and i felt like i was being cut up into tiny pieces. love hurts. i never knew how much it could hurt until i saw the man i love and thought to myself, "i will never be able to be with him ever again." now, i'm talking about a guy who was the only person who noticed that i don't talk. i'm the person who people like, who knows other people, but when it comes down to it, those people don't know anything about me. he was the first person to ever draw attention to that. this is the guy who gives me encouragement and provides me with accountability with my schooling. this is a guy who listens to what i'm saying and is sensitive to my wants and needs. but most importantly, this is a guy who holds me in his arms and i feel like i'm home. i feel like i can take on the world with him by my side. and it cut me deep to even think that i could not ever have that again.
but then i realized, there is no one else i want to experience life with than him. and he won me over. he defended himself, told me he understood my decision, but still tried to explain why love isn't something that fits perfectly into your schedule and your life. and it all clicked.
so, i'm back with him, and hopefully, there won't be anyone else.
i hope i just didn't jinx myself.
i'm sorry.... what 18 year old talks like this?! am i crazy in the head or something?!
... oh well, no matter what chaos i have caused because of my actions, for the first time in my life, i am perfectly content. and i mean, i am at peace with the world. i'm going to cherish this as long as it will last.
but then i realized, there is no one else i want to experience life with than him. and he won me over. he defended himself, told me he understood my decision, but still tried to explain why love isn't something that fits perfectly into your schedule and your life. and it all clicked.
so, i'm back with him, and hopefully, there won't be anyone else.
i hope i just didn't jinx myself.
i'm sorry.... what 18 year old talks like this?! am i crazy in the head or something?!
... oh well, no matter what chaos i have caused because of my actions, for the first time in my life, i am perfectly content. and i mean, i am at peace with the world. i'm going to cherish this as long as it will last.