I guess im giving up..

[saves_my_day]

i have had it, with everything. life. school.friends. i am so fucking sick of acting ok, i am not. i am not ok. i am so fucking sad inside and i cant hide it. now im going to show it, if you dont like it, fuck you. i cant handle this shit anymore. my life is just a fucking routine. i need a change. i cant do this anymore. how can u act so differently around other people and make me feel like i dont fucking exist? how can you do that and live with who you are. when your with other people, im not there. i cannot fucking stand when people do that. i treat all of my friends the same, and I NEVER fucking ignore them when im with someone else, i pay attention to everything and try to have fun, but obviously you guys dont give a shit about me at times no matter how you act when me and you are alone.we have great fucking times when its just us, but anyone else, i might as well leave because me being there is pointless.
my house life is the same shit over and over again also. i come home, go to work, come home from work and sleep. when i dont work i am cleaning, or sleeping. i want more to life than that. i need A life most of all. and that i dont have. i dont want to talk to anyone that doesnt think what they did was wrong. dont call me, dont talk to me. let me be alone for a while and maybe i'll be fine again, for now, if you are my true friend you're sorry about fucking me over give me a call tonight, im off. but none of you will call me, so it will be another lonely night in my fucking head.

ps. got stuck in the fat kid group at school, im a fucking loser. made a 60 on my Gov. test. can i do anything right? i didnt think so