she gives me courage
'She' is my wifey the only girl I consider my bestfriend eventhough we can go months with brief contact... But then there she will be like a beacon of light. I start this entry like this because if it wasnt' for her I wouldn't have as much calmness and pride to discuss what the point of this update is.. When I got married it felt like I became a member of a club that consisted of no one I knew.. My once dear friends I felt like I had nothing in common with anymore.. Especially since not only was I now a wife but I was a military wife better yet A Marine Corp Wife... And any marine wife will tell you and most of the husbands it's the hardest job in the corp.. So that made it a even more exclusive club.. No one could relate to a damn thing in my life.. So I kept to myself alot... I became a recluse and I hated it.. The friends here I did make move cause their husbands are getting out or moving..or the guys one in particular that I found could be a great friend is out on a ship for 6 months.. I always knew though there was one person who knew exactly what I was going through... And when I talked about something like base housing vs. town knew the benefits..knew what I was talking about.. Of course my MaRLi...So when I got the news sometime back in July that I was pregnant I knew the first person I wanted to talk to...
Alot of emotions and life changes have taken place.. It wasn't that I was elated to be pregnant but I wasn't walking away this time. And as time goes by and you see the physical changes and it becomes more 'real' I do find myself looking forward to what's to come.. There's been so much drama with Derek and the marine corp..and currently were awaiting a huge decision..that I really don't feel like going into detail with.. He is now due to leave for japan in like 2 weeks.. So for the remainder of my pregnancy he will not be here.. At first I was going to go home... But tri care(my insurance through the military) has alot of rules when it comes to switching regions/ traveling out of your region etc.. and I feel it would be best to be in the comforts of my home considering i'm already having a really tough time physically . My moms here at the moment.. It took me alot to tell everyone and anyone that could read this.. Cause I don't feel like hearing anyone's judgements or pre concieved notions... But when I think of her...and all her strength... It makes me feel like I can do this too and i'm not alone...
Alot of emotions and life changes have taken place.. It wasn't that I was elated to be pregnant but I wasn't walking away this time. And as time goes by and you see the physical changes and it becomes more 'real' I do find myself looking forward to what's to come.. There's been so much drama with Derek and the marine corp..and currently were awaiting a huge decision..that I really don't feel like going into detail with.. He is now due to leave for japan in like 2 weeks.. So for the remainder of my pregnancy he will not be here.. At first I was going to go home... But tri care(my insurance through the military) has alot of rules when it comes to switching regions/ traveling out of your region etc.. and I feel it would be best to be in the comforts of my home considering i'm already having a really tough time physically . My moms here at the moment.. It took me alot to tell everyone and anyone that could read this.. Cause I don't feel like hearing anyone's judgements or pre concieved notions... But when I think of her...and all her strength... It makes me feel like I can do this too and i'm not alone...