CTRL+ALT+DELETE= END TASK
This post is private, more for myself than anyone. But I think it should be read by all of you dear LJ friends.
I now have 7 days left on my 19 year journey. I have come very far but it now is coming to an end as i am starting over. I do things alot different than most people as I am sure all of you that have been lucky enough to meet me have already figured out. I have put my foot down on how I am going to deal with the next phase of my life. I am cutting out my past entirley. The only ones I am sparing are as follows:
Unc
Brianna (you will always be my rabbit)
C.J.
Mah
Jen
Pop
Krissy
Skylar
and Allison
If you were not on this list this should be taken as good-bye. I've never dealt well with good-byes as most of you know. So i will spare the drama. This is the FIRST good thing I have ever done entirley for myself, and if you can't understand or respect that fuck off. I spent the day working in the backyard focusing on all the shit in my past, the rape, murder, drugs, tears, cold, abandonment, and failed relationships, so i could disregard them successfully. If I go into this with regret or doubt I will fail and that is quite simply UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE. At one point in time i was a martyr, a foolish glutton for pain and punishment, but i was always strong. But now it is time for me to be as strong as ever and for the first time in a long time I am standing tall, proud, and fucking invincible. This chapter in my life has but one author and that will be me. I have walked late at night over many cracked slabs of pavement. But now i will make my own paths and my choices may seem very uncharacteristic but non the less they are my choices. I will no longer fret over the things that I have lost or the shit that has been taken from me. I am happy with myself now and need no support. Right now the only thing I want is to go to N.C. in August and get shitfaced in celebration.(I'm only half joking) I will make everything happen from graduation, to the battlefield, to the boxing ring, it will be me and my brothers in arms. My new motto is:
IF I CANT'T EAT IT DRINK IT SMOKE IT FUCK IT OR FIRE IT, I DON'T FUCKING NEED IT!!!
I'm out.
I now have 7 days left on my 19 year journey. I have come very far but it now is coming to an end as i am starting over. I do things alot different than most people as I am sure all of you that have been lucky enough to meet me have already figured out. I have put my foot down on how I am going to deal with the next phase of my life. I am cutting out my past entirley. The only ones I am sparing are as follows:
Unc
Brianna (you will always be my rabbit)
C.J.
Mah
Jen
Pop
Krissy
Skylar
and Allison
If you were not on this list this should be taken as good-bye. I've never dealt well with good-byes as most of you know. So i will spare the drama. This is the FIRST good thing I have ever done entirley for myself, and if you can't understand or respect that fuck off. I spent the day working in the backyard focusing on all the shit in my past, the rape, murder, drugs, tears, cold, abandonment, and failed relationships, so i could disregard them successfully. If I go into this with regret or doubt I will fail and that is quite simply UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE. At one point in time i was a martyr, a foolish glutton for pain and punishment, but i was always strong. But now it is time for me to be as strong as ever and for the first time in a long time I am standing tall, proud, and fucking invincible. This chapter in my life has but one author and that will be me. I have walked late at night over many cracked slabs of pavement. But now i will make my own paths and my choices may seem very uncharacteristic but non the less they are my choices. I will no longer fret over the things that I have lost or the shit that has been taken from me. I am happy with myself now and need no support. Right now the only thing I want is to go to N.C. in August and get shitfaced in celebration.(I'm only half joking) I will make everything happen from graduation, to the battlefield, to the boxing ring, it will be me and my brothers in arms. My new motto is:
IF I CANT'T EAT IT DRINK IT SMOKE IT FUCK IT OR FIRE IT, I DON'T FUCKING NEED IT!!!
I'm out.