Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form
Something I actually got a hold of years ago, but updated it. Feel free to use at your leisure.
Consolidated Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form
Filled out by: [Insert your name here]
Directed at: [Insert idiot's name here]
Date: [Insert date here]
Version: 4.0
Congratulations, [insert idiot's name here]! You have been chosen to receive the Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form (ISIRF), because of some really stupid thing you posted. Please, read the following lines. After reading these lines, take the advice shown. If you are incapable of taking the advice shown because you:
[ ] Cannot read
[ ] Have fewer than 5 brain cells
[ ] Cannot count to 5
[ ] Have a stick up your ass
[ ] Want a stick up your ass
[ ] Enjoy having a stick up your ass
[ ] Sniff glue
[ ] Suffer from Dumbass Arrogance Ignorance Disease
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Most of the above, excluding all of the above
Please simply refrain from posting -- ever again. Thank you for your time.
You are a(n): (check all that apply)
[ ] Clueless N00b
[ ] Lamer
[ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser
[ ] Poser
[ ] Spammer
[ ] Smurf
[ ] Feeder
[ ] H4xX0r
[ ] h8r
[ ] Twink
[ ] God Moder
[ ] Powergamer
[ ] Metaposer
[ ] Completely incapable of keeping the barrier between OOC and IC
[ ] Troll
[ ] White Knight
[ ] Control Freak
[ ] Really annoying person
[ ] Warez Monkey
[ ] Copy n’ Paste parrot
[ ] Me too'er
[ ] Psycho
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Sick f*ck / Sick f***er
[ ] Douche bag
[ ] Nerd
[ ] Dip$hit
[ ] Racist
[ ] Rules Lawyer
[ ] Fanatic
[ ] Twit
[ ] Bully
[ ] Tool
[ ] Purple Kool-Aid Drinker
[ ] Waste of Skin
[ ] Crybaby
[ ] Attention afficionado
[ ] Glue sniffer
[ ] "Expert"
[ ] Flip-Flopper
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person
[ ] The worst person ever to exist
[ ] Rabid chipmunk
[ ] Oscar Meyer Weiner
[ ] Giant Flying Monkey
[ ] Clone of Gilbert Gottfried
[ ] Person who obviously cannot type, but has been trained to respond to certain characters displayed on a monitor
Your post was: (check all that apply)
[ ] A flame
[ ] A waste of bandwidth
[ ] Lame
[ ] Stupid
[ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless
[ ] Idiotic
[ ] Arrogant
[ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible
[ ] Annoying
[ ] Very annoying
[ ] Libelous
[ ] Ignorant
[ ] Fanatical
[ ] Boring
[ ] Dim
[ ] Snooty
[ ] Ill-mannered
[ ] Crude
[ ] Lewd
[ ] Uncouth
[ ] N00bish
[ ] A total n00bfest
[ ] A total Straw Man
[ ] Flooded with Logical Fallacies
[ ] Worthless
[ ] Full of lies
[ ] Just plain pathetic
[ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful
[ ] Demented
[ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Quazi-tinfoilia
[ ] Porn
[ ] A really disgusting picture and you didn't warn us of it
[ ] Weird
[ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome
[ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent
[ ] Mind-numbing
[ ] Maladroit
[ ] Threatening
[ ] A curse-filled tirade
[ ] Bullshit
[ ] A conspiracy theory which holds less water than a thimble
[ ] A post which hurt my brain to read
[ ] A post which is composed of binary
[ ] A post composed completely of hex
[ ] More bullshit
[ ] Much longer than any thought of which you are capable
Your attention is drawn to the fact that: (check all that apply)
[ ] You posted what should have been e-mailed or private-messaged
[ ] You self-righteously impose your beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously consider yourself an arbiter of TRUTH
[ ] Your reading comprehension is dodgy at best
[ ] You put words in someone else's mouth
[ ] You trivialized something that is serious
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You posted a couple of photoshopped pics instead of an argument
[ ] You flamed the Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form
[ ] You used Tone Argument to bully another person
[ ] What you posted has been done before ten million times
[ ] Not only that, but it was also done better the last time
[ ] You bumped an aged topic which should not have been
[ ] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long, stupid thread
[ ] You tried to 'impress' us with your 'skills' and 'intelligence'
[ ] You bent your Wookiee and then showed us
[ ] You threatened to bend other people's Wookiees
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ trolley
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You said that these are 'your' forums
[ ] You said that you are GOSU
[ ] You are entirely and singlemindedly focused on WINNING
[ ] You said that we're violating your freedom of speech
[ ] You are angry because someone was being a meanie
[ ] You were waving your E-Peen around
[ ] You're the posterboy of dumbasses
[ ] You made no sense
[ ] You posted in another language
[ ] You should have posted in another language
[ ] You said that you're 'punk'
[ ] You said that I suck
[ ] You said that one of my forum friends sucks
[ ] You said that the whole forum sucks, but you refuse to leave because you have no life
[ ] You wish you were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
[ ] You have the intelligence of an Oscar Meyer Weiner
[ ] You wish you had a weiner
[ ] You must have spent your life in a cardboard box to be this clueless
[ ] You posted in t3h 7331z0rz to look k00wL
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the forum you posted in
[ ] You were hoisted on your own petard
[ ] You are smurfing (using another account)
[ ] You are a loser
[ ] You are a freaking loser, or, a fre-loser
[ ] You think you are King Crap of Poo Mountain
[ ] You wanted to spank the monkey
[ ] You did spank the monkey
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before
[ ] This has been pointed out to you at least three times in the past
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally worthless that you are being flamed on general principles
It is recommended that you: (check all that apply)
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[ ] LURK MOAR
[ ] Go read derailing for dummies
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Have your medicine adjusted, if you don't have medicine, get some.
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the Stickies
[ ] Lay off the glue sniffing
[ ] Stop f*cking smurfing
[ ] Go play in traffic
[ ] Stop drinking Kool-Aid
[ ] Drown yourself in some Kool-Aid
[ ] Fall down a mine shaft
[ ] Consume excrement
[ ] Consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Suck mine
[ ] Suck mine and do a roll in midair
[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea of what you are doing
In closing, I'd like to say: (check all that apply)
[ ] One More Thing! [/Uncle on Jackie Chan Adventures]
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] You need booze!
[ ] You need to lay off the booze
[ ] *boink*
[ ] Go piss up a rope
[ ] I hate you
[ ] Your parents hate you
[ ] My neighbor hates you
[ ] My neighbor's pet hates you
[ ] Not the Momma!
[ ] I bent my Wookiee!
[ ] Is that you, Chris-Chan?
[ ] Welcome to n00b c1ty. Population: YOU.
[ ] Don’t forget your tinfoil hat
[ ] May the Mother of Your Camel Spit in your Yoghurt
[ ] Up Yours
[ ] “Up your nose wid a rubber hose, mistah Kottah!”
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including all of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form
[ ] You are so clueless that I wish I didn't fill in this form.
Consolidated Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form
Filled out by: [Insert your name here]
Directed at: [Insert idiot's name here]
Date: [Insert date here]
Version: 4.0
Congratulations, [insert idiot's name here]! You have been chosen to receive the Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form (ISIRF), because of some really stupid thing you posted. Please, read the following lines. After reading these lines, take the advice shown. If you are incapable of taking the advice shown because you:
[ ] Cannot read
[ ] Have fewer than 5 brain cells
[ ] Cannot count to 5
[ ] Have a stick up your ass
[ ] Want a stick up your ass
[ ] Enjoy having a stick up your ass
[ ] Sniff glue
[ ] Suffer from Dumbass Arrogance Ignorance Disease
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Most of the above, excluding all of the above
Please simply refrain from posting -- ever again. Thank you for your time.
You are a(n): (check all that apply)
[ ] Clueless N00b
[ ] Lamer
[ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser
[ ] Poser
[ ] Spammer
[ ] Smurf
[ ] Feeder
[ ] H4xX0r
[ ] h8r
[ ] Twink
[ ] God Moder
[ ] Powergamer
[ ] Metaposer
[ ] Completely incapable of keeping the barrier between OOC and IC
[ ] Troll
[ ] White Knight
[ ] Control Freak
[ ] Really annoying person
[ ] Warez Monkey
[ ] Copy n’ Paste parrot
[ ] Me too'er
[ ] Psycho
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Sick f*ck / Sick f***er
[ ] Douche bag
[ ] Nerd
[ ] Dip$hit
[ ] Racist
[ ] Rules Lawyer
[ ] Fanatic
[ ] Twit
[ ] Bully
[ ] Tool
[ ] Purple Kool-Aid Drinker
[ ] Waste of Skin
[ ] Crybaby
[ ] Attention afficionado
[ ] Glue sniffer
[ ] "Expert"
[ ] Flip-Flopper
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person
[ ] The worst person ever to exist
[ ] Rabid chipmunk
[ ] Oscar Meyer Weiner
[ ] Giant Flying Monkey
[ ] Clone of Gilbert Gottfried
[ ] Person who obviously cannot type, but has been trained to respond to certain characters displayed on a monitor
Your post was: (check all that apply)
[ ] A flame
[ ] A waste of bandwidth
[ ] Lame
[ ] Stupid
[ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless
[ ] Idiotic
[ ] Arrogant
[ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible
[ ] Annoying
[ ] Very annoying
[ ] Libelous
[ ] Ignorant
[ ] Fanatical
[ ] Boring
[ ] Dim
[ ] Snooty
[ ] Ill-mannered
[ ] Crude
[ ] Lewd
[ ] Uncouth
[ ] N00bish
[ ] A total n00bfest
[ ] A total Straw Man
[ ] Flooded with Logical Fallacies
[ ] Worthless
[ ] Full of lies
[ ] Just plain pathetic
[ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful
[ ] Demented
[ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Quazi-tinfoilia
[ ] Porn
[ ] A really disgusting picture and you didn't warn us of it
[ ] Weird
[ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome
[ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent
[ ] Mind-numbing
[ ] Maladroit
[ ] Threatening
[ ] A curse-filled tirade
[ ] Bullshit
[ ] A conspiracy theory which holds less water than a thimble
[ ] A post which hurt my brain to read
[ ] A post which is composed of binary
[ ] A post composed completely of hex
[ ] More bullshit
[ ] Much longer than any thought of which you are capable
Your attention is drawn to the fact that: (check all that apply)
[ ] You posted what should have been e-mailed or private-messaged
[ ] You self-righteously impose your beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously consider yourself an arbiter of TRUTH
[ ] Your reading comprehension is dodgy at best
[ ] You put words in someone else's mouth
[ ] You trivialized something that is serious
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You posted a couple of photoshopped pics instead of an argument
[ ] You flamed the Internet Standardized Idiot Reply Form
[ ] You used Tone Argument to bully another person
[ ] What you posted has been done before ten million times
[ ] Not only that, but it was also done better the last time
[ ] You bumped an aged topic which should not have been
[ ] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long, stupid thread
[ ] You tried to 'impress' us with your 'skills' and 'intelligence'
[ ] You bent your Wookiee and then showed us
[ ] You threatened to bend other people's Wookiees
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ trolley
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You said that these are 'your' forums
[ ] You said that you are GOSU
[ ] You are entirely and singlemindedly focused on WINNING
[ ] You said that we're violating your freedom of speech
[ ] You are angry because someone was being a meanie
[ ] You were waving your E-Peen around
[ ] You're the posterboy of dumbasses
[ ] You made no sense
[ ] You posted in another language
[ ] You should have posted in another language
[ ] You said that you're 'punk'
[ ] You said that I suck
[ ] You said that one of my forum friends sucks
[ ] You said that the whole forum sucks, but you refuse to leave because you have no life
[ ] You wish you were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
[ ] You have the intelligence of an Oscar Meyer Weiner
[ ] You wish you had a weiner
[ ] You must have spent your life in a cardboard box to be this clueless
[ ] You posted in t3h 7331z0rz to look k00wL
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the forum you posted in
[ ] You were hoisted on your own petard
[ ] You are smurfing (using another account)
[ ] You are a loser
[ ] You are a freaking loser, or, a fre-loser
[ ] You think you are King Crap of Poo Mountain
[ ] You wanted to spank the monkey
[ ] You did spank the monkey
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before
[ ] This has been pointed out to you at least three times in the past
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally worthless that you are being flamed on general principles
It is recommended that you: (check all that apply)
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[ ] LURK MOAR
[ ] Go read derailing for dummies
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Have your medicine adjusted, if you don't have medicine, get some.
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the Stickies
[ ] Lay off the glue sniffing
[ ] Stop f*cking smurfing
[ ] Go play in traffic
[ ] Stop drinking Kool-Aid
[ ] Drown yourself in some Kool-Aid
[ ] Fall down a mine shaft
[ ] Consume excrement
[ ] Consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Suck mine
[ ] Suck mine and do a roll in midair
[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea of what you are doing
In closing, I'd like to say: (check all that apply)
[ ] One More Thing! [/Uncle on Jackie Chan Adventures]
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] You need booze!
[ ] You need to lay off the booze
[ ] *boink*
[ ] Go piss up a rope
[ ] I hate you
[ ] Your parents hate you
[ ] My neighbor hates you
[ ] My neighbor's pet hates you
[ ] Not the Momma!
[ ] I bent my Wookiee!
[ ] Is that you, Chris-Chan?
[ ] Welcome to n00b c1ty. Population: YOU.
[ ] Don’t forget your tinfoil hat
[ ] May the Mother of Your Camel Spit in your Yoghurt
[ ] Up Yours
[ ] “Up your nose wid a rubber hose, mistah Kottah!”
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including all of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form
[ ] You are so clueless that I wish I didn't fill in this form.