life is off...
rant.
confusion.
sucks.
here we go:
he's one of my best friends, no question, but i think it could be something more. but this happened before and it turned out to just be me growing attached. but then he asked about her and i got confused. and i lied to him about the dumbest thing, but it was a big deal. to me at least, and i think to him too, but he pretended it wasn't. i think that may have been a really bad blow, but too subconscious for him to realize, and i feel awful about that. and then he just started talking to her again and it makes me jealous, even though i know it's over. and i feel like we've been growing the slightest bit apart and that upsets me. and then i think that he (the other one) might like me, and he's really awsome, but superficially i couldn't. and that makes me hate myself, because i know i'm in no position to be picky. and he's his best friend...
school is awful right now. english, chem, psych are no big deal. journalism is never a real class. but econ kills me. i would honestly drop it if it wasn't a requirement. i have no idea how i'm going to pass though. no joke, i cannot pay attention and cannot read things over and cannot do the packets. stat is ridiculous. it's weilert though. i'll be glad to have a real math teacher next year. i've had him 3 years now. i don't even remember what a real math teacher is like. it'd be really great to understand math again.
we're bringing the car home tomorrow... but i'm only allowed to drive it to school and har sinai. everything else is a "case by case basis." what does that mean? no idea... but for sure that i can't go out places. why does this make sense?? please tell me. please tell me why my life, currently, sucks overall??
oh, wanna know the best part?? my best friends...
dorian & alyssa - have their own lives
logan - never can see him
jason - well... we're working on that
so... it's nora all alone. she loves that. you know, i used to at least find comfort in going to sleep at night, hoping that my dreams would be better than the days, but now even that isn't working for me.
it better brighten up pretty soon.
confusion.
sucks.
here we go:
he's one of my best friends, no question, but i think it could be something more. but this happened before and it turned out to just be me growing attached. but then he asked about her and i got confused. and i lied to him about the dumbest thing, but it was a big deal. to me at least, and i think to him too, but he pretended it wasn't. i think that may have been a really bad blow, but too subconscious for him to realize, and i feel awful about that. and then he just started talking to her again and it makes me jealous, even though i know it's over. and i feel like we've been growing the slightest bit apart and that upsets me. and then i think that he (the other one) might like me, and he's really awsome, but superficially i couldn't. and that makes me hate myself, because i know i'm in no position to be picky. and he's his best friend...
school is awful right now. english, chem, psych are no big deal. journalism is never a real class. but econ kills me. i would honestly drop it if it wasn't a requirement. i have no idea how i'm going to pass though. no joke, i cannot pay attention and cannot read things over and cannot do the packets. stat is ridiculous. it's weilert though. i'll be glad to have a real math teacher next year. i've had him 3 years now. i don't even remember what a real math teacher is like. it'd be really great to understand math again.
we're bringing the car home tomorrow... but i'm only allowed to drive it to school and har sinai. everything else is a "case by case basis." what does that mean? no idea... but for sure that i can't go out places. why does this make sense?? please tell me. please tell me why my life, currently, sucks overall??
oh, wanna know the best part?? my best friends...
dorian & alyssa - have their own lives
logan - never can see him
jason - well... we're working on that
so... it's nora all alone. she loves that. you know, i used to at least find comfort in going to sleep at night, hoping that my dreams would be better than the days, but now even that isn't working for me.
it better brighten up pretty soon.