Slow hands...
"Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place..."
This is getting harder than I could have imagined. Everytime I have to leave him all I can picture is him leaving...and not coming back. I don't want that to happen. Today we were just hugging before he left my house...and I just did not want to let go. After he left I just burst into tears...even though I will be seeing him like 12 hours from now. I did the same thing the other day when it was like 2 am and he was picking me up at 8 am. How can I barely handle 6 hours apart from him? I'm afraid of what is going to happen when he's gone.
Tommy P is gone :-( I miss him already. Nothing is the same without him here. Jordan held my hand today when we were in the water and I was just like... I wish this was my Tom. Anyway at least I got to say goodbye to him this morning. Which was worth being late. Not that that was the total reason I was late. But still...I couldn't let him leave without giving him a hug. Plus I gave him my old necklace, which he better be wearing!!!!!!
The beach was pretty ok. Jordan made me laugh the whole day (except when he woke me up by throwing sand at me...but still) As much as we all hate to admit it I really do love him...which I told him the other day at the quarry, but I made sure I specified "as a brother." hehe. He was like "I love you too...like a sister." I was like good. Plus it's sort of weird how I always end up talking to him about EVERYTHING in my life. I've gotten so much closer to him this year.
Going to bed now because I am exhausted from my fucking long day!
It seems like Ari is mad at me again... :-/ I don't even know anymore.
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place..."
This is getting harder than I could have imagined. Everytime I have to leave him all I can picture is him leaving...and not coming back. I don't want that to happen. Today we were just hugging before he left my house...and I just did not want to let go. After he left I just burst into tears...even though I will be seeing him like 12 hours from now. I did the same thing the other day when it was like 2 am and he was picking me up at 8 am. How can I barely handle 6 hours apart from him? I'm afraid of what is going to happen when he's gone.
Tommy P is gone :-( I miss him already. Nothing is the same without him here. Jordan held my hand today when we were in the water and I was just like... I wish this was my Tom. Anyway at least I got to say goodbye to him this morning. Which was worth being late. Not that that was the total reason I was late. But still...I couldn't let him leave without giving him a hug. Plus I gave him my old necklace, which he better be wearing!!!!!!
The beach was pretty ok. Jordan made me laugh the whole day (except when he woke me up by throwing sand at me...but still) As much as we all hate to admit it I really do love him...which I told him the other day at the quarry, but I made sure I specified "as a brother." hehe. He was like "I love you too...like a sister." I was like good. Plus it's sort of weird how I always end up talking to him about EVERYTHING in my life. I've gotten so much closer to him this year.
Going to bed now because I am exhausted from my fucking long day!
It seems like Ari is mad at me again... :-/ I don't even know anymore.