(no subject)
Cannot even begin to explain that crazy night. It was bad but not horrible because I sobered up as soon as I knew I needed to. Anyway... Jeff wasn't allowed to come because Mike said no more people.... I feel horrible I don't want Jeff to hate me. And then I befriended Mark Landers even more than I did before...he already called me today to check in and to tell me if anything happens tonight he'll give me a call. But that's it. Then I spent the morning/afternoon at Mike's cleaning. 7 bags full of beer cans, bottles, liquor bottles, plastic cups, and many many cigarette butts. Why the hell were we ALL chain smoking last night? Oh fuck I just know I need to lie down and take a nap. And pray that Jeff is not mad at me because I need him to not be mad... I have got so used to having him I will die if I loose him.