On Swaying With the Wind (repost)
"I too easily comply with people's expectations of me," I said in an earlier post. Back when I made a few posts of interest before Katrina hit.
So, I'll pick up there. I too easily comply with people's expectations of me. This is generally something the typical person who knows me might be tempted to disagree with, but it's true. See, I'm talking about expectations as opposed to suggestions. If people suggest I smoke or drink, it ain't happening. But people see me and they generally don't expect that I'll smoke or drink... I don't think
Point is, I'm talking about broader, perhaps less important things. An excellent example comes with Physics III. I tell people I'm taking Physics III, which is generally considered to be an awful class -- modern Physics! Yikes! So I tell them that I took it because I needed another science class and Biology, Chemistry, and EAS (Earth and Atmospheric Sciences) were of no interest to me, so I just decided to go for Physics. This is partially true, except for the fact that I would probably have taken Physics III whether it was required or not. Why do I say this? It's expected. Someone who actually wants to take a class like that is just reaally freaking weird and probably a masochist, right?
And there we are. It used to be, such a reaction would be... Insignificant to me. I wouldn't care. Something's changed. I don't know why, but it's made me less of the person I want to be and moved me towards precisely the person I don't want to be. I decided a long time ago I wouldn't sway with what people wanted or expected of me, and that I wouldn't be swayed by their possible thoughts of me. Of course, this was never true with friends, but it was true before they became my friends -- that's why my friends are my friends, because they can deal with me.
And yet, on occasion, I'll do this around them, too. That's distinctly wrong. Now that I've identified the problem, of course, it's far more solvable. I need to look and try to catch myself doing that and stop myself from doing it. It's more difficult than it sounds, but very possible. Habit can be eliminated if it's replaced by a different habit; this sneaked up on me as a habit, but now I can replace it with the habit of saying what I actually think. Again.
It's a rare enough occurrence around friends that I'm not too worried (and the closer the friend, the rarer it is for this to happen). Still, things like this, it's better to nip it in the bud.
So, I'll pick up there. I too easily comply with people's expectations of me. This is generally something the typical person who knows me might be tempted to disagree with, but it's true. See, I'm talking about expectations as opposed to suggestions. If people suggest I smoke or drink, it ain't happening. But people see me and they generally don't expect that I'll smoke or drink... I don't think
Point is, I'm talking about broader, perhaps less important things. An excellent example comes with Physics III. I tell people I'm taking Physics III, which is generally considered to be an awful class -- modern Physics! Yikes! So I tell them that I took it because I needed another science class and Biology, Chemistry, and EAS (Earth and Atmospheric Sciences) were of no interest to me, so I just decided to go for Physics. This is partially true, except for the fact that I would probably have taken Physics III whether it was required or not. Why do I say this? It's expected. Someone who actually wants to take a class like that is just reaally freaking weird and probably a masochist, right?
And there we are. It used to be, such a reaction would be... Insignificant to me. I wouldn't care. Something's changed. I don't know why, but it's made me less of the person I want to be and moved me towards precisely the person I don't want to be. I decided a long time ago I wouldn't sway with what people wanted or expected of me, and that I wouldn't be swayed by their possible thoughts of me. Of course, this was never true with friends, but it was true before they became my friends -- that's why my friends are my friends, because they can deal with me.
And yet, on occasion, I'll do this around them, too. That's distinctly wrong. Now that I've identified the problem, of course, it's far more solvable. I need to look and try to catch myself doing that and stop myself from doing it. It's more difficult than it sounds, but very possible. Habit can be eliminated if it's replaced by a different habit; this sneaked up on me as a habit, but now I can replace it with the habit of saying what I actually think. Again.
It's a rare enough occurrence around friends that I'm not too worried (and the closer the friend, the rarer it is for this to happen). Still, things like this, it's better to nip it in the bud.