(no subject)
I think it hurts me sometimes that I get so caught up in romantic movies and fandom, because then my real life doesn't feel very romantic in comparison. lmao. Clearly, I am ridiculous.
The pharmacy resident that I work with for my first rotation (1/10, to be finished in two weeks) said something to the effect that I'm pretty set in life "since I have my fiancé." I think he's a little more lonely than he'd care to admit, and he is trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life since he'll be choosing his job offer by Wednesday.
It is true that I'm "set" and I wouldn't exchange him for anything in the world. I feel confident in us and that we've outgrown some of the drama and ridiculous arguments that we've had in previous years. We had a lot of growing up to do, but we were able to grow up together. I can't believe that I've really been with something since I was sixteen years old, I cannot even. I'm a completely different person now, close to seven years later. How we continued to make it work and yet become even more compatible is beyond me. How I met the person I'm spending the rest of my life when I had to worry about algebra and sophomore speeches is again, beyond me.
What I have struggled with, though, is that in order to be with him my decisions are sort of made for me. There's really only retail pharmacy available for me where he's attending college, so different than the various opportunities that are available to me here. And really, I like retail. I'm outspoken and outgoing and hate being alone. I grew up with a huge family and feel comfortable around large groups of people. While I know I will enjoy my upcoming rotations, I'm pretty sure that most of my options aren't appealing for longer than a month. I guess that I just, as the control-freak that I am, would like to have the choice.