Colby's chest

[canadiana1]

Challenge: Chest

Title: Colby’s chest
Pairing/Characters: David, Don, mention of Colby
Rating/Category: PG13
Word Count: 76
Spoilers: none

Comments

[mustangcandi]

hahaha. Very funny! As always, I enjoy the banter you play out in these drabbles.

So, I want to give some what I hope to be constructive suggestions for your writing and I hope it won't be unwelcome.

When I was in college, I had a literature professor who enjoyed my writing because she said I was really good with dialogue. She said that dialogue is often the hardest part of writing a story, even for established authors. From reading this and the other drabbles you've posted, you have a MASTERY of dialogue. I love the banter that is very in character, and could very well be canon if our show was still on TV.

But I wonder if you could add more to these. I want to see more of how this banter plays out in your head. Like sometimes, I admit that I get lost in who is saying what, so could you add things like Don said, David chuckled? What are they doing as they talk? Is David using his hands? Is Don distracted and looking at a file? What else is happening in the scene while they talk? Are they walking? Is David sitting on the corner of Don's desk? For drabbles you have from 1 - 300 words to tell the story so you have plenty of room to play. I'd really love to see these tales of yours grow! I'll gladly act as a beta if you want.

Or if you want to tell me to bugger off, that's okay too. I just thought I'd make the suggestion because I want to know more! :)

[canadiana1]

Hi Candi,

Sorry for the delayed reply, but I was a little bit overwhelmed with some work-related issues and I didn't check the site. Now everything is going in the right direction, at least I hope so, so I have time to catch up with the numb3rs sites :-)

Thank you for your advices! it's a great idea to describe the location and background, in that way I can reach the 100 words, it bothered me I couldn't find more words :-)

Thanks again!
Take care,
Anaid