Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (NC-17) 2/4
vi.
Just over a month later, Justin walks up the black spiral staircase from the Sub Station, and announces to Alex and Juliet that he's just now accepted his first assignment as a full-fledged Monster Hunter. The look on his face as he says it gives Alex the impression that he might as well be setting the date for his own execution. And, God help him, he’s dressed just like one of those two idiots she conned into taking Frankie and the robot to Monster Jail.
"A mummy?!" Juliet asks, dumbfounded. "Are they crazy?! You’re not even done the course, yet!”
Justin shrugs, and smiles uncertainly. “Just the way things work in the go-go world of monster hunting, I guess?”
“Gee, but if you turn pro, you won’t be able to compete in the next Monster Hunting Olympics!” Alex deadpans.
Justin and Juliet both turn to give her a sour look.
“Justin, this is retarded,” Alex sighs, rolling her eyes dramatically. “The only monsters you’ve actually managed to bag so far are a fake, sarcastic horse, and the two harmless dupes you made yourself, who were just hanging around the house, anyway. There’s no way they can honestly believe you’re actually ready for this.”
“Hey!” Justin snaps, suddenly angry. “Who’s got two thumbs and is wearing an official Monster Hunter’s uniform, huh? This guy, right here. I’ve been training hard these past few weeks, OK? I’m ready.”
Alex cocks a skeptical eyebrow at him as she looks him over…but she does have to admit, he looks pretty good. Oh, the outfit is simply awful-giving even the whole Wonder Twins wizard duel fashion nightmare a run for its money-but the way it shows off his newly-sculpted arms and just a hint of the definition in his chest is definitely-
OK, this is getting ridiculous. She really does need to find herself a boyfriend.
“Besides,” Justin continues, oblivious, “I’m…kind of the only thing standing between him and all of New York, right now…on account of all the other Monster Hunters having been, um…well, destroyed.”
“By the mummy?!” Juliet asks.
“You know, I never did get a clear answer on that…” Justin frowns thoughtfully, then shakes his head. “But it doesn’t matter. Because Gotham City calls to me. The Batsignal has been lit. And I must answer.”
“Oh, God,” Alex groans, hanging her head. “Are we still on this whole stupid Batman kick? Seriously?!”
“I’m going with you,” Juliet says firmly.
Justin blinks at her. “What? No! Batman does not take his girlfriend with him when he goes out on patrol!”
“Oh, really?” Alex snorts. “Tell that to Robin.”
“For the last time, Alex, Robin is Batman’s youthful ward, friend and trusted partner! They are not gay for each other!” Justin growls. Then, realizing how callously un-PC this sounds: “Uh, not that…y’know…there would necessarily be anything wrong with that…”
“Pfft, whatever. Read between the panels sometime, egghead,” Alex says. “I mean, they named the guy ‘Dick’ for Christ’s sake! Not a whole lot of subtext, there!”
“Alex, you don’t even-wow, did you really just use the word ‘subtext’ correctly in a sentence?”
“Uh, hello!” Juliet interrupts, waving her arms to get their attention. “Not just any ordinary, run-of-the-mill girlfriend here, remember? Batgirl, anybody?”
And with that, Juliet holds her arms out to the side, where they suddenly morph themselves into a pair of massive bat wings, with a sound not unlike that of several ears of corn being shucked all at once. Alex and Justin grimace at her wordlessly as she beams back at them.
“Yeah, it still kind of disturbs me a little bit when you do that,” Justin says quietly, after a moment.
“Uh, ditto,” Alex nods. “Because, dude? Freaky.”
“Fine,” Juliet sighs, and barely a tremor of effort mars her features as she wills her limbs back into human form. “But I’m going, all right? No arguments. And for that matter, so is Alex. She can be…um…Wonder Woman? Hawkgirl?”
“Uh, our mom’s really more the Hawkgirl type, actually…” Justin says.
“Please,” Alex scoffs. “If I’m anybody, it’s Catwoman.”
“Isn’t she more of a bad guy, though?” Juliet asks. “Like, an international jewel thief, or something?”
“I prefer to think of her more as a badass anti-heroine who doesn’t let society’s narrow definitions of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ determine her moral code,” Alex replies. “Plus, she looks hot in skin-tight black latex. So, y’know…win.”
“Well, Selena Kyle does lean more towards chaotic-neutral, or maybe even chaotic-good, than straight-up evil, so you could make the argument-“ Justin stops short and glares at his sister, as though she nearly tricked him into something. “Look, forget it. Juliet can come, but Alex stays here.”
For a split-second, Alex’s eyes go wide with rage as hurt and jealousy swirl together in the pit of her stomach and threaten to consume her from within. So what, suddenly he’s totally fine with his stupid vampire girlfriend emasculating him, but not her? What the hell?! It’s not like Juliet has been getting by on four hours of sleep a night for the past month so she can make sure her Man of Steel spell doesn’t wear off at an inopportune moment while he does his juvenile bullshit macho workout thing...
(Because that’s totally why she’s been sneaking down there every night. Totally.)
But before it’s too late, and she says or does something that she’ll later regret, the calm, rational part of her-the part she doesn’t listen to very often, the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Justin’s-intervenes, tamping down on her emotions and forcing her to adopt an air of bored nonchalance.
“Sure, works for me,” she says, with a lazy half-shrug.
Because, duh, of course the dude wants to take his girlfriend along and leave behind his baby sister. Because that’s what dudes do, and that’s all Alex is to him.
Goddammit.
“Wait, what? Why on Earth wouldn't you want Alex to come?” Juliet asks, scowling at Justin like he’s an idiot for wanting to leave her behind. And even though Alex kind of hates her right this second, she sort of loves her, too. “Justin, sweetie, no offense…but you kind of need all the backup you can get, on this one!”
“No, it’s OK,” Alex says, before Justin can protest. And she’s honestly surprised at how evenly she manages to say it. “I can’t go, anyway. I have to study.”
And yeah, so even though it’s at least partially true, she can appreciate how much that sounds like a lame excuse. But geez, is it so unbelievable that they have to stare at her with their mouths hanging open like that?
“Yes, that’s right. I said I have to study,” Alex sighs. “It’s the first sign of the apocalypse. The plague of locusts is scheduled for Tuesday.”
“Look, it’s just a little recon at the museum, anyway,” Justin says impatiently, holding out his hand for Juliet. “The mummy’s not even going to be there. We don’t need her.”
Alex makes a point of idly studying her fingernails, and tries not to look as hurt as she feels.
“Well…OK,” Juliet says, looking from Justin to Alex and back again as she tucks her hand into his. “I guess that doesn’t sound too dangerous…and if Alex is too busy…”
“It isn’t,” Justin insists.
“And I am,” Alex also insists, just a little bit harder.
“Fine. Let’s go.” Justin nearly pulls Juliet right off her feet as he tugs her towards the stairs that lead down into the Sub Station. Juliet giggles in surprise as she stumbles after him, and turns to wave goodbye to Alex over her shoulder before they disappear down the staircase, out of sight.
Alex waits until the sound of their footsteps on the metal stairs has died away, and counts off ten seconds in her head, before she spins on her heel and slams her fist into one of the pillows on the couch, as hard as she can. Again, and again, and again. It’s only when she feels somebody’s eyes on the back of her neck that she stops pummeling it, and turns around.
Conscience stands in the middle of the yellow staircase that leads upstairs, with a book under his arm, peering over the railing at her. She sets her jaw and narrows her eyes at him, daring him to say something.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” he says evenly as he comes the rest of the way down, as though walking in on her assaulting a pillow is the most normal thing in the world. “Just bringing Max his textbook so we can move on to the next chapter. He’s flying through his remedial wizard homework like you wouldn’t believe.”
Great. So now that’s two whole chapters Max will be ahead of her.
“Gee, I’m so thrilled,” Alex says flatly, glaring at him. “You can’t imagine how much. You’re such a fantastic influence on him.”
“Well, I do what I can,” Conscience shrugs as he makes his way down the black stairs into the Sub Station. And the genuine humility inherent in it makes her want to punch his face in. As if sensing this, he pauses on the third step, then turns halfway around to fix her with a knowing look.
“For the what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing, just now," he says, “There’s an old saying: if you love somebody, set them free. If they really love you, they’ll come back.”
Alex blinks at him, then narrows her eyes even further as she crosses her arms below her breasts. "Dude, I have no clue what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't," Conscience says, with a condescending smile. "But if it makes you feel any better, Max has never once thought of what you and Justin have as being wrong. Or anything less than completely normal, even. In fact, I think he actually finds it kind of sweet."
Alex's expression doesn't change, even though she feels her stomach do a triple-backflip, and miss the landing.
"Granted, forty-eight states would disagree," Conscience continues with a shrug, "along with your parents and virtually everyone else you know...but hey, why let society's narrow definitions of 'right' and 'wrong' define your morality, right?"
Alex cocks an eyebrow at this, and snorts in surprise. "OK, I’ll admit that it’s been a while since I’ve actually seen Pinocchio, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the kind of thing a conscience is supposed to come down in favor of…”
Conscience smiles kindly, and shrugs. “Well, the right things may seem wrong sometimes. Or sometimes the wrong things may be right at the wrong time. Or vice versa. Understand?”
“Uh…sure, if you say so, dude,” Alex says uncertainly. “But somewhere, Walt Disney is spinning in his grave right now. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Oh, trust me, I know,” Conscience says with a grin, as he starts back down the stairs. “You have no idea how true that is.”
OK, so clearly that settles that. Creepy little mofo has definitely gotta go, and the sooner the better. Immediately, even. Certainly before Justin gets back from monster-baiting, or whatever. Because, dude, seriously. Max might be perfectly fine with the idea of…whatever…and sure, she can feel herself gradually edging towards a place in the not-too-distant future where she’d be OK with it, too. But Justin? Mister Lawful-Good himself? If Conscience so much as breathes a word of this to him, his head will literally explode.
Besides, what the hell? Max is already a real boy. What does he really need a conscience for, anyway?
vii.
So on the bright side, Conscience is gone. On the not-so-bright side, so is Juliet.
And while not that long ago, Alex would actually have seen that as being strictly win-win-well, at least for her, anyway-it breaks her heart to see Justin so angry and guilt-ridden over having handed his girlfriend over to become the mindless slave of a mummy. And man, as hard as he was on himself over that whole thing with the wisp, it's nothing compared to how badly he beats himself up for this.
Having made the vow to spend his every waking moment in pursuit of her, Justin starts skipping class-possibly for the first time in his life, ever-whenever he uncovers even the vaguest of leads on the mummy's whereabouts. After about two weeks, he stops going to school altogether and devotes himself to the search full-time, which Alex only finds out about when Mister Laritate calls her to his office to ask what's wrong with him.
"Mono," Alex lies, thinking quick on her feet as she pours two cups of coffee and hands one to the principal. "Just his luck, huh? Dude finally finds a girl desperate enough to actually make out with him, and she gives him cooties."
"Ah," Mister Laritate frowns, fiddling absently with his bolo tie, as though the idea of Justin making out with someone makes him vaguely uncomfortable. And for once, Alex can relate. "Well, I guess that explains why he's been looking so down in the mouth lately. Darn shame, though. He was on course to win the Perfect Attendance award at graduation this year. Would've been a real feather in his cap."
"Shyeah!" Alex scoffs into her coffee. "Sure it would."
"Can't be helped, I guess," Mister Laritate sighs, and he actually sounds so deeply disappointed that Alex has to force herself not to roll her eyes. "I'll rustle up Justin's teachers. We'll send you home with some sort of home-based study program for him. That way he won't lose the semester and can still graduate on time."
Amazingly, Jerry and Theresa go along with the ruse, allowing Justin to stay out of school for the time being as long as he keeps up with his home study. Which means that he's not only gotten out mortal school on top of Wizard Lessons now, but he's also turned Alex into his personal courier service, as she ferries assignments back and forth between him and his teachers at school. Truly, she lives in an unjust universe.
As far as Alex can tell, to keep up with his homework on top of his mummy-hunting, Justin starts to completely forego sleep altogether. He hunts by day, scouring the underworld, digging for clues-often literally, as most of his contacts and informants are technically undead, or "respirationally challenged" as they prefer to be called. By night he locks himself in his room or holes up in the lair, rushing through his homework and doing the bare minimum he feels he can get away with-which, because he's Justin, still earns him an A every time-so that he can devote himself to the study of old Monster Hunter texts and ancient lore on the combat and defeat of mummies. And by late-night, he continues to work out in secret in the basement, for hours on end, which is the only time Alex ever seems to sees him anymore.
Not that he sees her, of course. Twenty minutes is all it takes her to get the invisibility spell right, now. Still never on the first try yet, but she's definitely getting closer. At this rate she'll definitely have it down by Thanksgiving, assuming that Justin doesn't get himself killed by then.
Justin attacks the treadmill and free weights with a passion that Alex wouldn't have suspected him capable of. Not merely the clinical intensity with which he’s approached everything, as long as she’s known him, but an almost primal, animal ferocity. As if he’s not just bettering himself for the struggle to come, but actually punishing himself for not being up to the challenge of yesterday.
Silent and invisible, she keeps watch over him, wand in hand, ready for the moment when he falters, when he finally hits the wall or runs out of gas, to give him the necessary boost to push through. But he never does, not once, no matter how hard or fast he pushes himself. He’s being stupidly reckless, and she’s pisssed at him for that, more than words can express…but she’s oddly thrilled at the same time. Because it’s usually Alex who’s stupidly reckless, flaunting rules and logic and common sense, while Justin is the cautious, careful one, guarding against the moment that the whole house of cards collapses beneath them. And to have their roles so suddenly, radically reversed makes her feel closer to him, somehow. Like maybe they finally understand each other, or whatever.
And as much as it worries her-because, even with her Man of Steel spell still in place, he is going way, way too hard-it also makes her tingle in places she ought not be tingling.
It’s worst when he’s on the floor, doing pushups or crunches, all straining and grunting and sweaty, and constantly making what she’s convinced must be his ‘O’ face. She imagines what it must feel like to be under him, or over him-around him-running her hands over his arms, his chest, his ass, as he pistons in and out of her, driving himself deeper and deeper into her with every thrust. And she literally has to sit on her hands, pinning them between the rocking chair and the backs of her thighs, to keep them still.
But then…
One night, about three and a half weeks after Juliet’s abduction, Mrs. Van Heusen makes a rare visit to the Sub Station just before closing time for an update on Justin’s progress. And though Alex can’t overhear their conversation from the counter, where she’s trying to keep herself awake by pouring sugar into her palm and licking it off, the slump of Justin’s shoulders and the way he bows his head as they talk tells her that she’s in for long night.
She’s not wrong. Though she gets the invisibility spell right in record time (17 minutes, rock!), he’s already hard at it by the time she sneaks downstairs, wand held at the ready…and apparently, she’s not the only one going a speed record, tonight. Justin’s legs are practically a blur beneath him, his face a mask of pain, as the treadmill whirs beneath him as fast as she’s ever seen it. Grimacing to herself, Alex picks her way through the boxes littering the basement towards the treadmill, risks getting close enough to him to get a peek at his speed, and gasps.
OK, this is so not good.
“Jesus Christ, Justin. Are you fucking crazy?” she mutters to him, under her breath.
Fortunately, as per usual, he doesn’t hear. The white cord leading from his iPod to his earbuds jiggles haphazardly as he pumps his arms, the music so loud that Alex can almost make out words for once, though they’re strangely distorted, high-pitched and robotic. It’s still maddeningly familiar, this song he’s been listening to on an endless loop for weeks, now. But it’s…off, somehow…and for the billionth time she struggles to place it. Leaning forward and cocking her ear towards his, she strains to pick out the lyrics, even a word or two that she can Google to narrow it down a bit. And she’s so focused on what she’s hearing that she really doesn’t notice the way her gaze slides down the front of him, along his sweat-soaked shirt, and comes to rest somewhere near his midriff.
And that’s when she sees it.
There’s an odd flutter of movement in his shorts just a few inches below the waistband which draws her attention, distracting her from the music. It takes a few moments of squinting at it before Alex realizes with a start what she’s seeing from this new vantage point: her brother’s junk bouncing freely up and down with every step he takes. And it’s kind of like watching a train wreck unfold, in that as much as she doesn’t want to see it, at the same time it’s so goddamned riveting that she absolutely cannot look away.
Oh, holy crap! How the hell has she never noticed that before?
Of course, now that she’s seen it, she can’t unsee it. Even when, after an eternity, she finally tears herself away from his side and goes back to her rocking chair. And even though she’s not really seeing anything, it’s still hotter than all the really good parts of every smutty romance novel she’s ever skimmed through. Her cheeks burn, her legs twitch, and she desperately presses her thighs together to try and snuff the fire that she feels building between them, even though her boyshorts are soaked right through…
And though Alex fully intends to sit on her hands again, instead her thumbs hook themselves into the waistband of her flannel pants and underwear, and pulls them down to her knees. The seat of the wooden rocking chair feels deliciously cold against her bare bottom as she settles back down onto it. Without taking her eyes off her brother’s bouncing member, she slips her left hand up under the hem of her T-shirt, sliding it up her stomach to cup her right breast, and rolls her taut nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Sighing with relief as much as pleasure, she holds her wand up to her mouth and whispers an old familiar incantation that sets it vibrating, then reaches down and presses the blunt end of it between her legs.
Alex inhales sharply and bites her bottom lip to keep from crying out, then lets her breath out slowly as she eases the handle of her wand in past her threshold. She can’t help but grin at the illicit, electric thrill that pulses through her. It’s not the first time she’s done this, naturally-you give a power-infused, phallic object to a pubescent girl, and hey, sooner or later human nature and simple curiosity are gonna take hold-but she’s rarely done it out in the open like this, and certainly never with Justin in the room. Even though she’s invisible, the notion that she could be discovered by him at any given moment fills her with an urgency she’s never felt before. That, combined with the sheer and utter wrongness of getting off to the sight of her brother’s penis jiggling in his shorts as he pushes himself to the limit of his endurance and beyond, drives her to the brink faster than she ever would have thought possible.
Panting heavily, halfway certain that Justin can hear the subtle squish squish squish of her wand sliding in and out of her, even over the pounding bass of his music, Alex drives it up as deep as she can into herself, pressing it against her g-spot, then moans aloud as she bursts around it. She presses her head into the back of the rocking chair as her spine arches into her orgasm, the rubber heels of her Uggs skidding against the concrete floor as her toes curl inside them. Fireworks explode behind her eyelids as her entire body shudders, then stills, all except for the throbbing of her pulse in her ears, and her throat, and her clit.
The euphoria she feels lasts for maybe a minute or two at most before the guilt sets in.
Swallowing hard, Alex exhales shakily and opens her eyes. Justin is still running full-bore on the treadmill, completely oblivious as he stares straight ahead, features contorted in agonized determination. He might as well be staring straight at her in disgust. Looking down at the floor, Alex hunches her shoulders and slips her wand out of herself as silently as possible, then reaches down and hitches her pants back up. She absently wipes off the handle of her wand on off the hem of her T-shirt, then reaches down and tucks it into her boot.
God, she has never felt so dirty. And not in a good way, either. Here her brother is practically openly flagellating himself out of guilt and heartbreak and self-loathing, and she’s using it as wank fuel?! In the same chair their mother used to rock them to sleep in as babies?! Alex has always been proud to consider herself a little bit of an evil genius, but this… this is too sick and twisted, even for her.
She wants to run away, hurl herself up the stairs to cry, to throw up, to hide beneath her covers and pretend it didn’t happen. But instead, she stays right where she is. Because tonight is the night Justin may actually need her most, and she absolutely refuses to abandon him. He certainly wouldn’t abandon her.
This whole other thing with him, though? That has to stop, pronto. It is definitely long past time she found herself a boyfriend, if only to get Justin off her fucking mind, already.
There is that new English dude in art class, the one who’s been eyeing her every time he thinks she’s not looking for the past couple weeks. He’s not Justin by any means, but his accent is cute, and he’s got the whole art thing going for him. Plus, y’know…somebody decidedly not-Justin is probably exactly what she needs right now.
Alex nods to herself as she sits on her hands again, and keeps her eyes rooted to the concrete floor before her. Yeah, OK. Cute English artsy kid. She can work with that.
viii.
Nine days later, Mason stares at her, wide-eyed and dumbfounded, as Alex shoves him back against her bed and quite literally pounces on him. She feels his arms wrap awkwardly around her as she nips at the pulse point to the right of his throat, just beneath his jawbone, then presses her lips to it and begins to suck, fully intending to mark him as her own. And she totally does not wonder, in the back of her mind, if Juliet ever does this to Justin, because it seems like such a vampire thing to do.
“Wow, I’d heard American girls moved fast, but I didn’t know they meant this fast!” Mason says, sounding a little breathless. “Er, is this still part of the whole ‘whirlwind romance’ montage, then?”
Alex chuckles despite herself, and releases her lips from his throat with a wet smack as she sits up, straddling him.
“New montage,” she says, grinning evilly down at him as she flips her hair over her shoulder. “Only this one involves a lot more Vaseline on the lens, and bow-chikka-bow-bow music.”
“Bow-chikka-bow-?” Mason frowns up at her in confusion, clearly not getting the reference. Understanding dawns across his face a moment later, though, when Alex’s hands set to work on undoing his belt. “Oh! Well, then…I do think I’m going to enjoy America.”
“Dude, you ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie,” Alex smirks, as she pulls down his fly and slips her hand into his jeans.
Because, seriously…Justin who?
viv.
Three weeks pass, and Alex finds herself pacing the length of the counter in the Sub Station, still desperately trying to crack her knuckles even though they stopped cracking ten minutes ago, a nervous habit she’s picked up from Jerry. She glances anxiously to her right at the pass-through into the kitchen, where her father is hurriedly making a giant ham, provolone and swiss hoagie the size of his thigh. Biting her lip, she looks over to her left into the subway car across the restaurant, where Theresa puts the finishing touches on the floral arrangement she’s mounted on the wrought-iron headboard they’ve set up to serve as a fancy privacy screen. Harper, meanwhile, dressed as a waiter, sets the table in front of it for a romantic dinner-for-two. Huffing impatiently, Alex fishes her cell phone out of the pocket to check the time, then stomps the heel of her boot on the floor.
“Guys! Could we please get a move on?! He’s going to be here any minute!” she snaps.
“Relax, honey,” Jerry calls from the kitchen, smiling as he sets down a layer of sliced tomato. “I know you’re nervous, but everything’s going to be just fine.”
“Fine?! Don’t give me fine!” Alex growls. “We’re curtains up in less than five minutes, and the leading lady isn’t even on her mark yet because the stagehands won’t get the lead out! YOU’RE BEING NEWARK, PEOPLE! I NEED BROADWAY!”
In the subway car, Theresa and Harper both stop what they’re doing to exchange glances, then fix her with identical dirty looks.
“Y’know, you could help,” Theresa points out. “This is your anniversary, after all.”
“Ohhhh, I’m too nervous,” Alex sighs, slumping against a stool as she tries to crack her knuckles again. “Besides, you know I’m deathly allergic to…y’know…whatchamacallit?”
“Work?” Jerry volunteers.
“Yeah, that’s it,” Alex nods, pointing at him. “Seriously, you want I should break out in hives before the biggest date of my entire life?”
“Wow,” Harper grins, as she crosses the floor towards her, to fetch the bottle of sparkling cider that’s chilling in a bucket on the counter. “I don’t think I’ve seen you this worked up over somebody since Riley. You really like this boy.”
Alex looks down at the toes of her boots, and shrugs noncommittally. But the truth of the matter is that she does like Mason. Likes him a lot, actually. They’ve only been officially dating for a month, but already she feels way, way closer to him than she ever did to either Riley or Dean. She never in a million years would have pegged her ideal boyfriend as being ‘primly British, and a shade on the scrawny side’, but hey, it is what it is. He’s just about her perfect match in every way. (Well, except for his whole weird ‘dog painting fetish’ thing, but hopefully that’s just a phase.)
And that’s why she’s decided that tonight’s the night they’re going to go all the way, even if Mason doesn’t know it, yet.
Alex feels her stomach lurch at the thought in nervous anticipation, and smiles furtively. She’s got it all planned out: Harper will be busy clearing after them, Mom and Dad will have their hands full with the dinner rush, and Max and…her other brother…will be out doing whatever the hell it is they’ve been doing every night after school for the past month. Nobody will even give it a second thought if Alex and Mason slip upstairs to be alone. She’ll lure him out onto the terrace to watch the sunset, kiss that spot on his neck that turns him to putty in her hands-albeit hard, throbbing, engorged putty-and then, as the stars come out and the moon rises above them, it’ll happen. And by the time everybody else drags their tired butts back up the loft to find them cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie as if nothing happened, Alex Russo won’t be a virgin anymore.
And OK, so maybe she’s only still a virgin in the most technical sense, but still, it’s a big deal. Which accounts for all the pacing, and knuckle-cracking, and the mutant dire moths that have apparently taken up residence in the pit of her stomach. It’s not every day that a girl gives up her cherry, after all.
(And she absolutely doesn’t feel even the merest pang of regret that she’s not giving it to the person who she’s been saving it for all along, if only subconsciously. Because, seriously…unrealistic, much?)
“Uh, hey Alex?” Harper calls from the subway car, breaking into her reverie. “Didn’t you say you wanted music for this thing? I don’t see a CD player or a radio, or anything…”
“Oh, dammit, you’re right!” Alex says, slapping her forehead. “I set up a playlist on my iPod, but I forgot to stea-uh, borrow-Justin’s dock from his room! I’ll go grab it and be right back. If Mason shows up, stall him, OK?”
“And how do you want me to do that?” Harper asks, sounding vaguely panicked.
“I don’t know, Harper!” Alex says, as she runs for the stairs, taking them two at a time. “Just…ask him which dog breeds he would paint all the founding fathers as, or something. That should keep him busy for a good twenty minutes.”
“What, seriously?!” she hears Jerry ask from below as she spirals up into the loft. “Harper, who is this freaky kid who’s dating my daughter?”
Breathing heavy and feeling dizzy by the time she reaches the third floor, Alex stumbles down the hall towards Justin’s room. Alright, so maybe faking cramps all the time to get out of gym is working against her, a little. Slumping against the wall outside his door, she reaches down to retrieve her wand from her boot, then aims it haphazardly at the knob.
“Look, I’m way too beat to come up with a rhyme, right now,” she wheezes, “so whatever spells Justin’s put on this to keep me out, just undo ‘em, you dig?”
There’s a pregnant pause, during which nothing seems to happen, but then the end of her wand flares bright pink and the lock on Justin’s door clicks, as though the laws of physics and probability have merely shrugged and said ‘Close enough.’ Sighing gratefully, Alex holsters her wand in her boot, throws open the door, and lurches into the room. Glancing around, she finds the iPod dock sitting on the nightstand next to his crisply-made bed, with his iPod charging in it. And instantly, all thoughts of Mason are forgotten as months of curiosity seize her.
What the hell is that song he’s been listening to on repeat as he’s worked out all this time?
Crossing the room in three strides, Alex snatches the iPod up out of the dock, and presses her thumb down on the click wheel. Its tiny screen flares to life, and she scrolls down through the menu it displays. Clicks on Playlists, then 25 Most Played. And there, finally, at the top of the list…
“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger?” she says out loud, incredulous. “Dude, seriously? That’s like the title of a bad European porn from the seventies!”
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
Alex starts so violently at the sound of Justin’s voice that she drops his iPod. He scowls at her from the doorway as it bounces on the carpet.
“Jesus Christ, Justin! You scared the shit out of me!”
“Yeah, I’ll bet I did,” he grunts angrily. Dressed in his Monster Hunter’s uniform-as he always seems to be, lately-he advances towards her, then stoops down to pick his iPod up off the floor. He turns it from side to side as he stands back upright, inspecting it for damage. “How’d you get past my security wards, Alex?”
“With surprisingly little to no effort at all, actually,” she says, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. “You’re slipping in your old age.”
Justin glares at her for a moment, then places his iPod back on the dock, apparently satisfied that she hasn’t broken it. “Hardly. Contrary to what you believe, Alex, everybody’s world does not revolve around you. I’ve had more important things on my mind, lately.”
Alex juts her chin out at him angrily, then jerks her head towards his iPod. “Like late-seventies Euro-porn soundtracks, for instance?”
Justin blinks at her, confused for a moment, then grins as he realizes what she’s talking about. “Oh wait, I get it. Have you really never heard of Daft Punk?”
“Um, duh! Of course I have!” Alex scoffs, even though she hasn’t the foggiest. Because she is so not admitting that he knows something she doesn’t. She repeats the name to herself three times in her head, though, to make it stick, because she is so Googling that shit later.
“Uh-huh,” Justin snorts, clearly not convinced. “What do you want with my iPod, anyway? I thought you hated the music I listen to. Or have your tastes actually matured beyond Hilary Duff and Hannah Montana?”
“OK, first of all, I haven’t listened to Hilary Duff since I was, like, twelve,” Alex says, blushing. “Second, I have never listened to that poser bitch Hannah Montana. You’re thinking of Mikayla-who rocked, by the way-but who I also have not listened to since I was about 14. And third, I could care less about your stupid iPod, it’s the dock I’m after. I have a date with Mason, and a very special playlist to accompany it, which I uncharacteristically spent quite a bit of time putting together!”
“Oh, wow,” Justin chuckles, shaking his head at her. “Really? You made a mix tape for your widdle boyfriend? How precious.”
“Oh, like you haven’t made, like, a kajillion playlists for Juliet since the mummy took her?” Alex snarls. She reaches for his iPod again. “Here, Captain Emo, let’s see how many…”
“That’s none of your business!” Justin shouts, slapping her hand away. “Forget it. You can’t have my dock.”
“Why not?!” Alex demands. “It’s not like you’re using it! It’s just sitting here!”
“And it can continue to just sit here, because it’s mine and I said so,” Justin says, crossing his arms over his chest. And Alex so totally does not notice how much bigger and more defined his arms look now. “You need one? Get your own.”
“But Mason’s going to be here, like, now!” Alex whines, stomping her foot impatiently. “Look, I promise I’ll actually bring it back, OK? Can’t you just do me a solid here, this one time?”
“So you can have a soundtrack to your sloppy makeouts with that Greyback kid? Yeah, I don’t think so. So very not interested in helping him hit a triple off my little sister, thanks.”
Alex jerks back a little at this in surprise, and not just because he’s correctly deduced her intent, even if he is a base shy.
“’That Greyback kid’?” she parrots at him. “What, do you have a problem with Mason, or something? Or just with the idea of seeing me happy for once?”
Justin rolls his eyes, then turns away from her, heading for his closet. “Alex, just get out, alright? I really don’t have time for this, right now.”
“No seriously, which is it?” Alex asks, coming up behind him as he slides open his closet door and begins rummaging inside. “I thought you’d be happy I was dating Mason. I mean, he’s the one boyfriend I’ve had you might actually have a chance in hell of intimidating…”
His head in the closet, Justin snorts loudly. “Sure, if I came at him with a rolled-up newspaper, maybe. Hey, did you take my snorkeling gear?”
“Rolled up news-?” Alex frowns and gives her head a shake. “Snorkeling gear? Justin, what’s up with the non-sequitors? You sound like Max, for crying out loud!”
Justin glances over his shoulder at her, surprised. “Wow, bonus points for your correct use of the word ‘non-sequitor’. Who knew playing tonsil-hockey with an English guy would actually improve your grasp of the language? Listen, do you have my snorkeling stuff, or not?”
Before she can ask him what he needs it for, Max lurches into the room wearing it, rubber flippers slapping against the hardwood floor with each exaggerated step, his diving mask completely steamed over. He runs headlong into Justin, nose bouncing off his older brother’s chest, before he stops in his tracks and holds up a harpoon gun and fishing net in either hand.
“Ready whenever you are, big guy!” he announces proudly.
Alex looks from her older brother to her younger one, and back again. “OK, I have to ask: what gives with Scuba Steve, here?”
“Max,” Justin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and using his overly-patient voice again. “We’re going to confront the mummy in his undersea minion storage cave, not guest-starring on The Deadliest Catch.”
“Well duh, yeah,” Max grunts. “Why else do you think I brought the net?”
“Wait, so now you’re bringing Max on these little hunting expeditions of yours?” Alex asks in disbelief. “Really?”
“Yeeeeah,” Justin says, as though he can’t quite believe it himself, then shrugs. “The whole sea cave thing is his lead, actually. Besides, like Juliet said, I need all the backup I can get, and beggars can’t be choosers.”
"Uh, guys? I'm standing, like, right here," Max frowns.
Alex gives him a sideways look, but otherwise ignores him.
“You’ve never once begged me," she says to Justin, quietly. "Or even asked, for that matter.”
“Yeah, well…you haven't exactly been around to ask, anyway," Justin says, with an odd, unfamiliar edge to his voice. "You’ve been so busy with Limey McBritishpants, I’ve barely seen you at all over the past few weeks.”
Alex grimaces at this. It’s true, and not just due to her judicious use of the invisibility spell, either. She hasn’t snuck down to watch him work out in secret for nearly as long as she’s been dating Mason. It felt too much like she was cheating on him, somehow. As guilty as she feels for having stopped, she can’t help but feel that the guilt she’d feel if she kept up with it would be even worse. Besides, her Man of Steel spell seems to have held up on its own just fine, without any reinforcement, and it’s not like Justin ever really needed her anyway, as he’s so fond of pointing out. If she’s honest with herself, she really just liked the idea of being there for him, for a change.
(Well, that’s the main reason, anyway. Sure, there were other…perks...but, yeah.)
But she has someone else to be there for, now. Someone she can actually, y’know, be with. Without breaking all kinds of laws in the process. Not that she’s ever felt beholden to any law in particular-or seen them as little more than vague guidelines, really-but there are some lines you just don’t color outside of.
She doesn’t say any of this out loud, of course. Because, duhr, how can she? Instead she plays to her strengths, and dodges the question entirely by going on the attack. For her, the best defense has always been a good offense.
“Limey McBritishpants?” Alex snorts, narrowing her eyes at him. “Wow, that was almost snarky enough for me to have come up with it. You really do have a problem with Mason, don’t you?”
“Not as long as he makes you happy,” Justin says, a little too quickly, as though he’s rehearsed it. “That’s all that really matters.”
“But…?” Alex probes, jutting her chin out at him.
Justin sighs, and rolls his shoulders uncomfortably. “I just don’t think you know him as well as you think you do. Or probably should.”
“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Alex frowns.
“Just that you should be careful with him,” Justin says. “I’d hate to see you make the same mistakes I’ve made, is all.”
“Well, I don’t have any plans to get him kidnapped and enslaved by a mummy, if that’s what you’re trying to say,” Alex says angrily.
“Uh, speaking of which?” Max interjects, oblivious to the hurt that appears on Justin’s face in response to Alex’s jibe. “As much fun as your whole weird slap-slap-kiss thing is for me to watch, usually, it’s kind of getting in the way of me finding something to shoot a harpoon at. Which I really, really want to do today, by the way. So if we could maybe wrap this up, here…?”
Justin and Alex glare at each other silently over his head, the hurt and anger each is feeling reflected in the other’s eyes. Was it really just a few weeks ago that she felt they might finally understand each other? Because right now, she feels like they’ve never been farther apart.
“Max and I have to get going, Alex,” Justin says, breaking the silence and gesturing pointedly to the door. “So if you could…?”
“Fine,” she practically spits at him, then spins on her heel and heads for the door. “I’ll get out of your way.”
“Look, you can take the dock if you really want to,” he calls after her, in a lame attempt to make it better. “We both know you’re just going to come back and steal it after I’m gone, anyway.”
“Bite me, jerk,” she hurls over her shoulder at him as she stomps down the hallway away from him.
But then she surprises herself by hesitating at the top of the stairs, one hand on the railing, and exhales heavily.
“Be careful,” she says in a tiny voice, without turning around, just loud enough for him to hear.
“You too,” he says quietly, his own voice choked with emotion.
Fighting the urge to look at him, Alex merely nods once and hurries down the stairs, reaching up to wipe away a single tear as she hits the main floor of the loft and continues on down into the Sub Station. Below, she can hear Mason making awkward conversation with her father, trying to make him understand why Ben Franklin would be best represented as a border collie. Grinning to herself, she quickens her pace and practically flies down the last few steps, into his waiting arms.
Justin’s wrong for once. Mason is so the one for her. Once she breaks him of this whole dog fetish thing, he’ll be perfect, and they’ll be together forever.
x.
OK, so clearly she’s not going to break Mason of the whole dog thing, after all. Which only goes to show: as much as you think you might, you really can’t change a guy.
No, apparently only a full moon can manage that.
Glancing up at it through the swaying treetops of the forest, Alex reflects on what an odd couple days it’s been. Yesterday, she was halfway convinced that her boyfriend was a low-down dirty cheater (or possibly an international jewel thief with the feds on his tail). Today, he’s a werewolf, using his keen canine sense of smell to track the scent of her brother’s vampire girlfriend to the lair of the mummy who’s held her captive all these months, from a piece of lovingly preserved dental floss.
And as much as she lives in fear of the day that she loses the wizard competition to Justin, and has to give up magic forever to become a boring old mortal, there’s at least a small part of her that’s actually looking forward to the quiet. Because, seriously, there’s really only so much weirdness that one life can be expected to hold.
Leaning against the tree next to her, Justin follows her gaze to where its branches sway in the evening breeze. “Did you know that Transylvania is literally Latin for ‘across the forest’?”
“If that’s true, and Mason keeps stopping to pee on every tree he sees, then this is gonna be a really long walk,” Alex sighs. Turning her head to the side to peer at the bush her boyfriend disappeared behind, she catches a glimpse of Max gleefully undoing his fly out the corner of her eye.
“Well, when in Romania," he grins,"make Romanade!"
“Hey, knock it off!” Alex snaps, reaching out to smack him upside the head. “We’re standing right here!”
“Ow! Watch it! You almost made me whiz all over my church shoes!”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Max! Gross!” Alex gags, stalking away from the tree as Max lets loose with a steady stream all over its roots. Justin leaps out of the way of the resulting puddle as it starts to creep its way towards him, then jogs after Alex and lays a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, go easy on Mason, huh?” he says, stopping her in her tracks. “He can’t help himself. He’s just marking his territory. It’s a biological imperative for male werewolves.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Alex says, glancing down at the glowing heart pendant hanging from her neck. She smiles. “I guess in my case I should be glad he did it with enchanted jewelry, huh?”
“It is very pretty,” says Justin, if a little begrudgingly. “I’m glad he makes you happy, Alex.”
“Oh, what’s this? Is somebody suddenly onboard Team Mason?” Alex teases, elbowing him in the ribs. “I should have known you’d come around once you found out he was a freak, just like every girl you’ve ever dated.”
“Ha-ha,” Justin says flatly, rolling his eyes. "I love how, even when I try to be supportive, you turn it into a dig at me."
“It's a gift," Alex says. She elbows him again, to show she's just playing, before her grin fades a little. "Seriously, though, you knew before I even told you, didn’t you?”
He raises his eyebrows in askance. “Knew…?”
“That Mason was a werewolf,” Alex explains. “That’s why you had such a problem with me dating him, right? I mean, you didn’t seem even a little bit surprised when I told you.”
“Well, no,” Justin says with a shrug. “I’ve kind of known for few weeks, actually.”
“Wait, weeks?!” Alex stares at him wide-eyed. “As in multiples of seven days? How the hell-?“
“Uh, hello? Monster Hunter?” Justin says flatly. He hooks his thumbs into his vest and tugs on it emphatically. "My detector practically went apeshit the first time he came by the loft to pick you up. It wasn’t hard to figure out why. I do kind of know what to look for.”
“But then why didn’t you turn him in to the Monster Hunters’ Council?!” Alex asks, flabbergasted. “Isn’t that, like, your job now?”
“I dunno,” Justin sighs, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “I kept meaning to bring him in, but he’s honestly small potatoes compared to tracking down the mummy and getting Juliet back. I figured I’d get around to it, eventually.”
“And when the hell were you gonna clue me in?!” Alex hisses, struggling to keep her voice down so Mason won’t here. “He’s my boyfriend, for Christ’s sake! I mean, I came thisclose to sleeping with him last week! What if he’d, like, wolfed out in the heat of passion, or whatever?! Do you have the kind of money to pay for the ridiculous amounts of therapy I’d need after that?!”
Justin frowns deeply, his entire body stiffening. “Wait, you almost slept with Mason?”
“Would have, if he hadn’t kept running off at the slightest mention of sunset,” Alex says bitterly, then lightly backhands her brother’s arm. “Which has had me sick with jealousy, by the way, because I’d convinced myself he was seeing another girl on the side. So there’s two whole weeks of mental anguish I have to thank you for…”
“Well, what did you want me to do? Just drop it into casual conversation over dinner? ‘Hey Alex, by the way: your new boyfriend? Turns out he’s a furry. Pass the butter, please?’”
Alex grimaces at this. “A furry? What the hell is a furry? Is that some kind of Monster Hunter jargon, or something?”
“No, it’s-nevermind, you don’t even wanna know,” Justin says, waving one hand dismissively. “My point is, you really liked him, you guys started getting serious, and I’d gone so long without telling you by that point that I just didn’t know how to break the news to you without it…y’know, hurting you.”
Justin looks down at his right foot, and begins scuffing it back and forth in the dirt on the forest floor, looking almost embarrassed. And as exasperated as she is, Alex can’t help but smile a little at how adorable he is. God, but he can such an absolute doll, sometimes…
“So I figured I’d just keep an eye on him for awhile,” Justin continues after a second. “Make sure he wasn’t dangerous. Wait to see if he’d do the stand-up guy thing, and tell you himself. Which he did, so…”
Alex narrows her eyes at him as he trails off. “So…you actually put my happiness before your responsibilities as a Monster Hunter?”
“I…guess you could say that, sure,” Justin says hesitantly, drawing circles in the dirt with the toe of his boot.
“Oh. Wow,” Alex says quietly in response. Because that is so not Justin. At least, not lately.
“Although you could also say,” he adds quickly, without looking up, “that maybe part of me was just waiting for him to kiss you, so I could watch you turn into a werewolf yourself, and have to be dunked in that awful goop to turn back.” He finally glances up at her through narrowed eyes. “Because you just thought it was so damned funny when it happened to me.”
Alex’s eyes and mouth form three perfect circles. Oh holy crap, she forgot about that! Arms flailing, she reaches up quickly to feel the tip of her nose, making sure it’s not cold and wet, then starts inspecting herself frantically for hair that wasn’t there this morning.
“Relax,” Justin chuckles. “It doesn’t seem to be taking, for some reason…which just burns me up to no end, let me tell you.”
Alex lowers her arms and glares at him for a moment, then simply shrugs it off. Because, that’s Justin, right there. And hey, it’s not like she’d do any different if she were in his shoes. It’s kind of how their relationship has always worked, after all. Well, up until recently, anyway.
“Hey listen,” she says, as a sudden thought strikes her, “you don’t think Mason’s one of the monsters that Max conjured up from the manual, do you?”
“I’ve wondered about that, actually,” Justin admits. “There is a listing for werewolves. And, I mean, the timing’s right. He did start at Tribeca Prep at about the same time, so…”
“Yeah, I was just thinking that,” Alex mutters. “He’s not all rampagey like the other ones that came from the book, though…"
“Not yet, he's not,” Justin says pointedly. “But just because something hasn’t happened is no guarantee that it won’t. Sure, Mason seems like a sweet guy now, but werewolves are unpredictable. Impulsive. He’s still technically a monster, Alex.”
“So is your vampire girlfriend, Justin,” Alex retorts, “who Mason is selflessly helping us track down, by the way, after months of you and Max coming up with sweet eff all."
"And I'm grateful, believe me," Justin says solemnly. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to let my guard down.”
“What exactly are you guarding against?” Alex asks, rolling her eyes skyward. “God, Justin…Mason loves me, OK? He’s not going to hurt me. I trust him, and I barely trust anybody. Why can’t you?”
The way Justin smiles at her looks odd and unfamiliar in the moonlight and shifting shadows of the rustling leaves above. He reaches his hand towards her slightly, as though he intends to lay it on her arm or her shoulder, or something…but instead, he hesitates, and drops it back down to his side.
“Look, just call it big brother’s prerogative,” he says, his voice sounding strangely tight and throaty. “You know that no guy is ever going to be good enough for you in my eyes, right?”
Oh. Well, there’s something she never expected to hear him say.
And though it’s not exactly what she’s secretly been longing to hear for as long as she can remember-even if she won’t admit it to herself-and though it comes weeks too late, it still causes tears to spring to her eyes, and lump to appear in her throat.
“Justin,” she says, “I-“
"Sorry about that!" Mason cuts her off as he comes bounding up to them, taking Alex’s hand in hers. "Took me awhile, but all these back here are done. Now we can...er..."
He breaks off with a frown, and starts to sniff the air in front of him, leaning towards the tree they were just standing against.
"Er, sorry…but has Max just piddled on that one over there?" he asks.
Justin and Alex exchange glances, then sigh and nod sadly.
"Oh, well..." Mason says uncomfortably. "Then I'm afraid I'll have to, uh…that is...if you lot wouldn't mind just moving off over there towards that castle for a moment...? I think that’s where the trail’s leading us, in any case…"
"We understand," Justin says, taking Alex by the wrist and gently leading her away. “Take your time.”
"Yeah," Alex smiles over her shoulder. "But, y'know, hurry OK?"
Mason grins at her gratefully, then bounds around to the the other side of the tree trunk, bending forward and wrinkling his nose as he sniffs at the spot Max peed on. Alex gets the distinct impression that if he had a tail, it would be wagging furiously right now. Then it occurs to her that, for all she knows, he might have a tail, after all.
"Ugh," Alex says, hopefully quietly enough that Mason doesn't hear. As Justin pulls her towards the castle, she glances down at the hand Mason was holding, and makes a face as she wipes it off on the leaves of a passing bush.
“OK, note to self: start carrying wet-naps,” she says, shaking her hand off. “Clearly there’s a few things about dating a werewolf that are gonna take some getting used to.”
“Oh trust me, little sister, you don’t know the half of it,” Justin sighs, dropping her arm as they reach the castle’s drawbridge, then bites his bottom lip as he crosses his arms over his chest. “So, uh, listen…did you really almost sleep with Mason?”
Alex's head comes up as she gapes at him in surprise.
“Uh…yeah, no,” she says, flushing slightly as she looks away and shakes her head. “We’re not talking about that.”
“But does that mean you two have done, um, everything but?” Justin asks, his voice raising an octave.
“Dude, seriously. So not having this conversation with you. Not now, not ever.”
“Hey, you were the one who brought it up! I just wanna know-“
“Fine,” Alex cuts him off. “You first, then: how far have you gone with Juliet?”
Justin’s mouth closes abruptly with a click of his teeth. His eyes dart away, across the forest, as he reaches up to scratch the side of his neck furiously, without saying a word.
“Exactly,” Alex glares at him, the reflection of her enchanted pendant lending her eyes a sinister red glow. “Not. Talking. About it. No hablar de ello. Comprende?”
“Agh, you’re mixing Spanish with Italian again,” Justin groans, as though it were unforgivable, scrubbing his eyes tiredly with both hands.
“Yeah well, that’s just how I roll,” Alex snaps. “Deal with it."
“What’s up, guys?” Max asks as joins them on the drawbridge, zipping up his fly in the process. He looks from his brother to his sister and back, taking in the awkward tension hanging in the air between them. “Oh sorry, did I just interrupt another one of your weird slap-slap-kiss things? Because I can go water another tree if you wanna take a minute to finish yelling at each other and hug it out, or whatever…”
“Stay put,” Justin growls. “It’s late enough as it is. The last thing we need is for you and Mason to get into a literal pissing match.”
“Woah, hold the phone…is that, like, really a werewolf sport?!” Max asks excitedly. “Because, even without knowing what it is, I would so totally buy season tickets for that. Do you think Mason will take me?”
“Shut up, Max,” Alex and Justin say in the same breath, without looking at each other.
Part I | Part II | Part III| Part IV