Victor and Alice's Trip To Wonderland, As Told In Dialogue
(She promised him this trip as a Christmas present, and after a little preparation, they're finally ready to go and paint the town red. Er, metaphorically, that is.)
“Good morning, Victor - ready to see Wonderland?”
“Very much so, Alice. Though I do have to admit, I’m wondering how we’re going to get there from here. I don’t think there’s any rabbit holes here in Chicago.”
“Maybe not, but you DO have a full-length mirror here in your room. So long as you don’t mind entering the Pale Realm or the Crimson Realm first, we should be fine.”
“Oh, I have no objections to that. But what if whatever keeps this pocket world separate prevents us from going through the looking glass?”
“Then we adjourn to the Nexus - I know I can find my way to Wonderland from there. I just thought it would be more convenient to go directly there from here. There’s no harm in trying, right?”
“None at all. Go ahead, Alice.”
*a moment’s pause*
“Perfect!”
“. . .Oh my God.”
“What? I thought you read the books.”
“Reading the books and seeing you put your hand through the m-mirror like it was water are two rather d-different things!”
***
“Well, well, well. I see we have a visitor.”
“Who--”
“Cheshire Puss. Hello Cheshire. Care to make yourself visible for my friend?”
“I don’t know. He makes rather amusing faces, searching for a voice he cannot find.”
“Yes, but it’s rather hard to make introductions that way.”
“Also true. All right, I’ll appear for your friend. Who is tall, dark, and dead-looking?”
“His name’s Victor Van Dort. That nice fellow I mentioned from the multiverse?”
“Oooooh. Hello there, Master Van Dort.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Cheshire Cat.” *pause* “I m-must say, you d-don’t look much like your illustration.”
“Mr. Tenniel never had the honor of seeing me in my natural shape. And I did change with Wonderland during the bad times.”
“I’ve heard. I’m sorry.”
“For what? You didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“Oh, I mean I offer my sympathies. I know, I should say what I mean rather than mean what I say.”
“. . .You’ve read the books a few times, haven’t you?”
“I love the books.”
***
“As the newcomer to the tea party, you must answer this riddle. Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“. . .For the same reason a boat is like a rose bush . . . ?”
“. . .Why is a boat like a rose bush?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“You’re asking to have tea poured on you. And Alice, stop giggling like that.”
***
“Oh, you were right. The view up here is incredible.”
“I know - you can see practically all of Wonderland. Over there is where the mining villages of Dementia and Pandemonium are, that’s the Vale of Tears, then the Wonderland Woods, and the Tulgey Woods with what’s left of the Land of Fire and Brimstone, and then that’s Caterpillar’s Plot, and over yonder is--”
“Queensland and Heart Palace.”
“. . .Yes. How did you know?”
“I’m - I’m not sure. I just sort of - knew. . .and it IS the only other castle around.”
“True enough. Nobody likes to go near it anymore. Can you blame them?”
“No, not really. . .though I have this horrible urge to see it up close for some reason.”
“Trust me, with the damage I did to it fighting the Queen, there’s not much to see. Besides, there’s plenty more pleasant places to visit.”
“Yes, I know. You’ll show me all of them?”
“Of course.”
***
“Isn’t that the loveliest sight you’ve ever seen, Victor?”
“Oh yes.”
“. . .You’re not looking at the sunset.”
“Yes, but what I’m looking at is still lovely.”
*blush* “Really, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I’m so glad we met, Alice.”
“Me too, Victor.”
“And I want to thank you for bringing me home.”
“. . .Home??”
“. . .I meant to say ‘here.’” *pause, slow smile* “But I think I like ‘home’ more.”
“Good morning, Victor - ready to see Wonderland?”
“Very much so, Alice. Though I do have to admit, I’m wondering how we’re going to get there from here. I don’t think there’s any rabbit holes here in Chicago.”
“Maybe not, but you DO have a full-length mirror here in your room. So long as you don’t mind entering the Pale Realm or the Crimson Realm first, we should be fine.”
“Oh, I have no objections to that. But what if whatever keeps this pocket world separate prevents us from going through the looking glass?”
“Then we adjourn to the Nexus - I know I can find my way to Wonderland from there. I just thought it would be more convenient to go directly there from here. There’s no harm in trying, right?”
“None at all. Go ahead, Alice.”
*a moment’s pause*
“Perfect!”
“. . .Oh my God.”
“What? I thought you read the books.”
“Reading the books and seeing you put your hand through the m-mirror like it was water are two rather d-different things!”
***
“Well, well, well. I see we have a visitor.”
“Who--”
“Cheshire Puss. Hello Cheshire. Care to make yourself visible for my friend?”
“I don’t know. He makes rather amusing faces, searching for a voice he cannot find.”
“Yes, but it’s rather hard to make introductions that way.”
“Also true. All right, I’ll appear for your friend. Who is tall, dark, and dead-looking?”
“His name’s Victor Van Dort. That nice fellow I mentioned from the multiverse?”
“Oooooh. Hello there, Master Van Dort.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Cheshire Cat.” *pause* “I m-must say, you d-don’t look much like your illustration.”
“Mr. Tenniel never had the honor of seeing me in my natural shape. And I did change with Wonderland during the bad times.”
“I’ve heard. I’m sorry.”
“For what? You didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“Oh, I mean I offer my sympathies. I know, I should say what I mean rather than mean what I say.”
“. . .You’ve read the books a few times, haven’t you?”
“I love the books.”
***
“As the newcomer to the tea party, you must answer this riddle. Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“. . .For the same reason a boat is like a rose bush . . . ?”
“. . .Why is a boat like a rose bush?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“You’re asking to have tea poured on you. And Alice, stop giggling like that.”
***
“Oh, you were right. The view up here is incredible.”
“I know - you can see practically all of Wonderland. Over there is where the mining villages of Dementia and Pandemonium are, that’s the Vale of Tears, then the Wonderland Woods, and the Tulgey Woods with what’s left of the Land of Fire and Brimstone, and then that’s Caterpillar’s Plot, and over yonder is--”
“Queensland and Heart Palace.”
“. . .Yes. How did you know?”
“I’m - I’m not sure. I just sort of - knew. . .and it IS the only other castle around.”
“True enough. Nobody likes to go near it anymore. Can you blame them?”
“No, not really. . .though I have this horrible urge to see it up close for some reason.”
“Trust me, with the damage I did to it fighting the Queen, there’s not much to see. Besides, there’s plenty more pleasant places to visit.”
“Yes, I know. You’ll show me all of them?”
“Of course.”
***
“Isn’t that the loveliest sight you’ve ever seen, Victor?”
“Oh yes.”
“. . .You’re not looking at the sunset.”
“Yes, but what I’m looking at is still lovely.”
*blush* “Really, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I’m so glad we met, Alice.”
“Me too, Victor.”
“And I want to thank you for bringing me home.”
“. . .Home??”
“. . .I meant to say ‘here.’” *pause, slow smile* “But I think I like ‘home’ more.”