Harry Potter Quotes fun fun
"Even more bizarre than the time Professor Trelawny and Professor Binns went skinny dipping in the lake?" asked Neville.
"It's Alicia..." Katie cringed, as if the very thought of it gave her chills. "I just found her... in a broom closet... snogging.... with Filch."
Ron's face had grown rather green. "And to think... she put her Filch-ified tongue in MY mouth. I'm not feeling so good..."
George shrugged with a menacingly innocent (how's that for a superb oxymoron?) grin on his face.
Lee exploded into laughter. "Trelawney? That nutter? She's going to have to find someone in a coma to get rid of it!"
"Ladies and gentlemen of the Seventh-year Care of Magical Creatures' Class, if you'll kindly turn your attention to your left you'll see a large man in a moleskin coat being chased by a wiry old bat of a teacher. Today's competitors are none other than our own groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid, weighing in at... well, a hell of alot, I can tell you that much, versus the all-seeing divination diva Professor Trelawney. As you can see the chase is just heating up as Trelawney attempts to pass the cursed Snog to Hagrid? Oh! And as you can see Hagrid has taken a nasty dive into a puddle... Trelawney's gaining... and she's... why, hell, she's leapt right into the air, ladies and gentlemen! She's going to land right on-- wait, no, Hagrid's rolled out of the way. Trelawney takes a nasty spill in the mud, as Hagrid struggles to his feet. The chase continues! This will be an interesting race indeed, folks. And there goes Trelawney, hot on his tail! Extremely hot... in fact, I believe she's on fire! Yes, Hagrid has cast some sort of mild fire spell on her as a diversion. What determination, folks! He won't be taken alive, this one! Just a quick side note to our listeners out there, today's entertainment is brought to you by Hogwarts' own George Weasley. Give the crowd a wave, George, there's a good lad. Oh! Now turn your attention back to the chase and you'll see Professor Trelawney is mere INCHES away from Hagrid! She's gaining.... gaining... AND SHE'S GOT HIM! Wait... Wait a minute! Hagrid is still running, I repeat, the bloke is STILL RUNNING! Trelawney's dangling from Hagrid's back the way a glob of grease would be to Snape's head! What a grip she has! Uh-oh, folks, I see some more mud puddles up ahead... Hagrids teetering... teetering... he's down! Trelawney's moving in for the kill... here it comes... and... HE'S BEEN SNOGGED! TRELAWNEY HAS PASSED THE SNOG! THE CROWD'S GOING WILD!"
Katie let out a shrill giggle. "Oh, you're loving this nonsense and you know it! No come here, you sexy Professor you!" The chase continued.
George shook his head. "No, each person can only have it once. Ginny's still got the Snog. There wasn't any magic involved in that last kiss at all..." He thought about that statement for a moment. "So wait... agh! Katie, why would you snog my sister if there wasn't any magic involved." More shuddering on the part of Harry and the Weasley twins.
"KATIE BELL IF YOU SNOG MY SISTER ONE MORE TIME I'LL SIC A BLUDGER ON YOU!" howled Fred. Katie stopped herself, for she was indeed leaning in for another kiss. Fred took a deep breath. "Er.. sorry about that. But, you know... you're tainting my little sister, man."
Dumbledore shrugged. "Very well, Minerva. You leave me no choice." The wizard cleared his throat and met McGonagall's eyes, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He bellowed: "L is for the way you look at me! O is for the only one I see!"
"No, no! Anything but that, Dumbledore!"
"ALL RIGHT!" he screamed to get the attention of the common room. "I want to settle this once and for all. I, Harry Potter, AM NOT GAY!!!" He exhaled in relief, glad to have gotten that off his chest. After a moment, he noticed that everyone was silent and staring at him.
"That's fabulous news, Mr. Potter," said a voice from the crowd. Harry looked to the head of the room and saw that Professor McGonagall was standing there, looking authoritative. "But if you wouldn't mind, may I please get on with my announcement?"
Harry blushed. "Er... sorry, Professor."
The fear in George swelled to unspeakable heights. "You mean... you mean WE have to Snog?"
McGonagall nodded solemnly. She looked as though someone had just died. "Otherwise, we BOTH get stuck with the curse. I don't know about you, Mr. Weasley, but I'm not keen on having boils all over my lips for a year. So..." She took a deep, meditative breath. "We must do what we must do!" Without another word she dove for the boy, who yelped and dodged out of the way.
"Now, George, don't make this any more difficult than it has to be!" said the Professor, chasing him around her office.
"No way!" cried George. "It's not worth it!" McGonagall tried to cut him off, but he skillfully leapt over her desk to escape.
This, well, proceeded in Fred beating him down and cursing him with pimples in certain... -cough- unnatural -cough- places.
George opened a piece of parchment and began to read “If one does not perform the snog within one half of an hour, there shall be dropping of the teeth, thy skin shall wrinkle, thou shalt have boils on thy bottom and be subject to the following: night sweats, ringing in the ears, flaking dandruff, arthritis, lumbago, uncontrollable dribbling, deafness, runny nose and ingrown toenails.” George finished clearing his throat and closed the parchment.
“Why are the hot ones always straight as a curly fry?”
“Oh wait...” the evil author appeared from thin air, “I didn’t talk about how it works so you’ve got a lot more work to do and a lot less time to do it!”
“Aw, man.” said the two incredibly sexy twins together.
“All you have to do is drink this; it’s a mixture of a love potion and Amortentia. Pansy won’t be able to keep her hands off of you.” I said, noticing that I sounded quite like a door-to-door saleswoman.
“That’s easy! I told Malfoy I’m in love with Blaise,” I said as if the answer were obvious.
Harry choked on his toast, Ginny spit out her pumpkin juice and Ron sat shocked.
Draco’s first reaction after all of this was of course ouch, but after that he thought he would have been mad at Pansy or at least disappointed with her for making such a scene but he wasn’t. His mind just kept slipping back to his kiss with Crabbe, why had he never noticed Crabbe’s beautiful brown eyes, the were so rich they almost looked yellow, like honey. Wait was he just talking about Crabbe’s eyes! And why wasn’t he trying to get Pansy back.
“Hurry up, you whore,” George said.
Fred fell of his chair. “GEORGE! LANGUAGE!” he said, “THIS IS A CHILDREN’S FIC!”
“No it’s not.” George said.
“Oh, okay then proceed.”
“I love you my Blaisey-waisy-poo.”
“I love you too Pansy-kins.”
“Blaise Zabini... BLAISE ZABINI! Isn’t he a girl?”((Fred))
Now, normally Dean Thomas was a nice boy, but when another guy messed with HIS chick that was it. The nice front came off and Dean turned into the black boy he was.
Without think Dean dived on top of Harry and began punching him - fist of fury that one has. However, Harry did know a thing or two about fighting himself; who knew all those miserable summers with Dudley would pay off? Harry stuck his leg up and right in between Dean’s legs. Dean gasped and fell to the floor next to Harry.
Dean, however, had just one thought on his mind ‘Must kill Harry...’
Instead, he bent down and snogged Dean for about 7 seconds and then proceeded to spit for the next few minutes. Dean laid on the ground, shocked and very much appalled at what had happened.
“That’s an... um... odd way to fight.” Neville said to no one in particular. Seamus silently nodded in agreement, bewildered by his two roommate’s behaviors.
“Um... just fine...” Neville responded, “Dean... you’re kind of invading my personal bubble.”
Seamus walked into the Great Hall with his head held up high. “I am such a ladies man,” he thought, “This is going to be So easy, the girls will just be lining up to snog the wonderful and spectacular Seamus Finnigan. Just as he entered, looking quite cocky and pompous (sort of like Percy), the majority of the girls in the Great Hall took once glance at him and left, as if they knew what was on his mind. Seamus sighed, ‘Guess my handsomeness made them all shy. Oh well, they’ll be back for some of my hot Irish sexiness.’ He shrugged and sat down to eat his lunch.
“Great, so I look like a girl now!” Neville said; quickly looking down since his eyes starting to tear up.
“Well, from the back, yeah...” Seamus said quietly.
“Atleast he said you looked like a pretty girl, mate.” piped Dean, trying to be comforting but failing miserably.
“Now, for that matter of my hippopotamus…” Fred said smirking.
George sighed, “Do you take IOYH’s?
“What’s that?”
“I owe you a hippopotamus?”
‘7 minutes... 7 minutes... must find girl. Wait...’ Neville began to panic but then he realized something. “Hey, Luna… you’re a girl!”
“Why, thank you for noticing!”
“Geez... okay ‘Mione. And don’t worry, you’ll be able to snog your little Ronniekins soon enough.” Harry smirked at Hermione. She glared, ‘Oh, you’re going down Potter.’ She threw a book at the poor kid, who took that as his cue to run from the library.
‘That girl can teach Voldemort a thing or two.’ He thought.
“WILL YOU SHUT UP? NO, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU PICTURES OF HARRY! NOW LET ME MAKE SMALL TALK WITH YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER SO I CAN SNOG HIM! Is that so much to ask for!”((Luna!))
“I have a plan involving Swiss cheese, duct tape, a paper clip and a mongoose and I can’t find the mongoose.” Stated George as if the answer were obvious.
“He needs to get laid,” whispered Luna to Ginny, “BADLY.”((((whoa, I was more of a Luna then I thought!!!))))
“What is this? National Incest Day?” Snape questioned. “Did I miss some kind of memo? Oh, who cares! 20 points from Gryffindor and 20 from Ravenclaw as well!”
"It's Alicia..." Katie cringed, as if the very thought of it gave her chills. "I just found her... in a broom closet... snogging.... with Filch."
Ron's face had grown rather green. "And to think... she put her Filch-ified tongue in MY mouth. I'm not feeling so good..."
George shrugged with a menacingly innocent (how's that for a superb oxymoron?) grin on his face.
Lee exploded into laughter. "Trelawney? That nutter? She's going to have to find someone in a coma to get rid of it!"
"Ladies and gentlemen of the Seventh-year Care of Magical Creatures' Class, if you'll kindly turn your attention to your left you'll see a large man in a moleskin coat being chased by a wiry old bat of a teacher. Today's competitors are none other than our own groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid, weighing in at... well, a hell of alot, I can tell you that much, versus the all-seeing divination diva Professor Trelawney. As you can see the chase is just heating up as Trelawney attempts to pass the cursed Snog to Hagrid? Oh! And as you can see Hagrid has taken a nasty dive into a puddle... Trelawney's gaining... and she's... why, hell, she's leapt right into the air, ladies and gentlemen! She's going to land right on-- wait, no, Hagrid's rolled out of the way. Trelawney takes a nasty spill in the mud, as Hagrid struggles to his feet. The chase continues! This will be an interesting race indeed, folks. And there goes Trelawney, hot on his tail! Extremely hot... in fact, I believe she's on fire! Yes, Hagrid has cast some sort of mild fire spell on her as a diversion. What determination, folks! He won't be taken alive, this one! Just a quick side note to our listeners out there, today's entertainment is brought to you by Hogwarts' own George Weasley. Give the crowd a wave, George, there's a good lad. Oh! Now turn your attention back to the chase and you'll see Professor Trelawney is mere INCHES away from Hagrid! She's gaining.... gaining... AND SHE'S GOT HIM! Wait... Wait a minute! Hagrid is still running, I repeat, the bloke is STILL RUNNING! Trelawney's dangling from Hagrid's back the way a glob of grease would be to Snape's head! What a grip she has! Uh-oh, folks, I see some more mud puddles up ahead... Hagrids teetering... teetering... he's down! Trelawney's moving in for the kill... here it comes... and... HE'S BEEN SNOGGED! TRELAWNEY HAS PASSED THE SNOG! THE CROWD'S GOING WILD!"
Katie let out a shrill giggle. "Oh, you're loving this nonsense and you know it! No come here, you sexy Professor you!" The chase continued.
George shook his head. "No, each person can only have it once. Ginny's still got the Snog. There wasn't any magic involved in that last kiss at all..." He thought about that statement for a moment. "So wait... agh! Katie, why would you snog my sister if there wasn't any magic involved." More shuddering on the part of Harry and the Weasley twins.
"KATIE BELL IF YOU SNOG MY SISTER ONE MORE TIME I'LL SIC A BLUDGER ON YOU!" howled Fred. Katie stopped herself, for she was indeed leaning in for another kiss. Fred took a deep breath. "Er.. sorry about that. But, you know... you're tainting my little sister, man."
Dumbledore shrugged. "Very well, Minerva. You leave me no choice." The wizard cleared his throat and met McGonagall's eyes, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He bellowed: "L is for the way you look at me! O is for the only one I see!"
"No, no! Anything but that, Dumbledore!"
"ALL RIGHT!" he screamed to get the attention of the common room. "I want to settle this once and for all. I, Harry Potter, AM NOT GAY!!!" He exhaled in relief, glad to have gotten that off his chest. After a moment, he noticed that everyone was silent and staring at him.
"That's fabulous news, Mr. Potter," said a voice from the crowd. Harry looked to the head of the room and saw that Professor McGonagall was standing there, looking authoritative. "But if you wouldn't mind, may I please get on with my announcement?"
Harry blushed. "Er... sorry, Professor."
The fear in George swelled to unspeakable heights. "You mean... you mean WE have to Snog?"
McGonagall nodded solemnly. She looked as though someone had just died. "Otherwise, we BOTH get stuck with the curse. I don't know about you, Mr. Weasley, but I'm not keen on having boils all over my lips for a year. So..." She took a deep, meditative breath. "We must do what we must do!" Without another word she dove for the boy, who yelped and dodged out of the way.
"Now, George, don't make this any more difficult than it has to be!" said the Professor, chasing him around her office.
"No way!" cried George. "It's not worth it!" McGonagall tried to cut him off, but he skillfully leapt over her desk to escape.
This, well, proceeded in Fred beating him down and cursing him with pimples in certain... -cough- unnatural -cough- places.
George opened a piece of parchment and began to read “If one does not perform the snog within one half of an hour, there shall be dropping of the teeth, thy skin shall wrinkle, thou shalt have boils on thy bottom and be subject to the following: night sweats, ringing in the ears, flaking dandruff, arthritis, lumbago, uncontrollable dribbling, deafness, runny nose and ingrown toenails.” George finished clearing his throat and closed the parchment.
“Why are the hot ones always straight as a curly fry?”
“Oh wait...” the evil author appeared from thin air, “I didn’t talk about how it works so you’ve got a lot more work to do and a lot less time to do it!”
“Aw, man.” said the two incredibly sexy twins together.
“All you have to do is drink this; it’s a mixture of a love potion and Amortentia. Pansy won’t be able to keep her hands off of you.” I said, noticing that I sounded quite like a door-to-door saleswoman.
“That’s easy! I told Malfoy I’m in love with Blaise,” I said as if the answer were obvious.
Harry choked on his toast, Ginny spit out her pumpkin juice and Ron sat shocked.
Draco’s first reaction after all of this was of course ouch, but after that he thought he would have been mad at Pansy or at least disappointed with her for making such a scene but he wasn’t. His mind just kept slipping back to his kiss with Crabbe, why had he never noticed Crabbe’s beautiful brown eyes, the were so rich they almost looked yellow, like honey. Wait was he just talking about Crabbe’s eyes! And why wasn’t he trying to get Pansy back.
“Hurry up, you whore,” George said.
Fred fell of his chair. “GEORGE! LANGUAGE!” he said, “THIS IS A CHILDREN’S FIC!”
“No it’s not.” George said.
“Oh, okay then proceed.”
“I love you my Blaisey-waisy-poo.”
“I love you too Pansy-kins.”
“Blaise Zabini... BLAISE ZABINI! Isn’t he a girl?”((Fred))
Now, normally Dean Thomas was a nice boy, but when another guy messed with HIS chick that was it. The nice front came off and Dean turned into the black boy he was.
Without think Dean dived on top of Harry and began punching him - fist of fury that one has. However, Harry did know a thing or two about fighting himself; who knew all those miserable summers with Dudley would pay off? Harry stuck his leg up and right in between Dean’s legs. Dean gasped and fell to the floor next to Harry.
Dean, however, had just one thought on his mind ‘Must kill Harry...’
Instead, he bent down and snogged Dean for about 7 seconds and then proceeded to spit for the next few minutes. Dean laid on the ground, shocked and very much appalled at what had happened.
“That’s an... um... odd way to fight.” Neville said to no one in particular. Seamus silently nodded in agreement, bewildered by his two roommate’s behaviors.
“Um... just fine...” Neville responded, “Dean... you’re kind of invading my personal bubble.”
Seamus walked into the Great Hall with his head held up high. “I am such a ladies man,” he thought, “This is going to be So easy, the girls will just be lining up to snog the wonderful and spectacular Seamus Finnigan. Just as he entered, looking quite cocky and pompous (sort of like Percy), the majority of the girls in the Great Hall took once glance at him and left, as if they knew what was on his mind. Seamus sighed, ‘Guess my handsomeness made them all shy. Oh well, they’ll be back for some of my hot Irish sexiness.’ He shrugged and sat down to eat his lunch.
“Great, so I look like a girl now!” Neville said; quickly looking down since his eyes starting to tear up.
“Well, from the back, yeah...” Seamus said quietly.
“Atleast he said you looked like a pretty girl, mate.” piped Dean, trying to be comforting but failing miserably.
“Now, for that matter of my hippopotamus…” Fred said smirking.
George sighed, “Do you take IOYH’s?
“What’s that?”
“I owe you a hippopotamus?”
‘7 minutes... 7 minutes... must find girl. Wait...’ Neville began to panic but then he realized something. “Hey, Luna… you’re a girl!”
“Why, thank you for noticing!”
“Geez... okay ‘Mione. And don’t worry, you’ll be able to snog your little Ronniekins soon enough.” Harry smirked at Hermione. She glared, ‘Oh, you’re going down Potter.’ She threw a book at the poor kid, who took that as his cue to run from the library.
‘That girl can teach Voldemort a thing or two.’ He thought.
“WILL YOU SHUT UP? NO, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU PICTURES OF HARRY! NOW LET ME MAKE SMALL TALK WITH YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER SO I CAN SNOG HIM! Is that so much to ask for!”((Luna!))
“I have a plan involving Swiss cheese, duct tape, a paper clip and a mongoose and I can’t find the mongoose.” Stated George as if the answer were obvious.
“He needs to get laid,” whispered Luna to Ginny, “BADLY.”((((whoa, I was more of a Luna then I thought!!!))))
“What is this? National Incest Day?” Snape questioned. “Did I miss some kind of memo? Oh, who cares! 20 points from Gryffindor and 20 from Ravenclaw as well!”