"You Can Count On It"
Title: You Can Count on It
Author: storyfan
Fandom: Save Me (2007)
Pairing/Characters: Mark Malloy/Scott Cooper, Lester
Rating/Category: PG-13/slash
Prompt: Lester comes to visit
Spoilers: A couple of move spoilers, one of them major
Summary: Lester has a decision to make. Mark gives him a new perspective.
Disclaimer: I'm not making a cent from these characters. I'm just having a bit of fun with them.
Notes: This was written for smallfandomfest. This was written as time was running out, so it hasn’t been beta’d. If you spot errors, please let me know.
“I’d better peel an extra potato.”
“Why?” Mark didn’t look up from his algebra homework. “Two are enough.”
“Lester might want one.”
Now Mark did look up. Scott was standing at the sink, peeling potatoes and carrots for dinner. At least he was peeling them. Now he was peering out the tiny kitchen window at something Mark couldn’t see from where he was sitting at the table, puzzling out tricky equations.
He got up and went to stand beside Scott.
“That’s Lester, isn’t it?” Scott pointed at the window with his paring knife. “He looks thinner, but I’m pretty sure that’s him.”
Mark stared out the window. A man was standing on the sidewalk in front of their little house. As Mark watched, the man took a few steps toward the house, retraced those steps and stood looking once more.
“That’s him,” Mark said. A grin spread across his face. “That’s really him.”
“Better have him come in before he melts out there.” Scott picked out another potato from the small mesh bag. “It’s a good thing I picked up an extra steak.”
Mark hugged him. “You think of everything.”
“Almost everything,” Scott said, smiling his wide, crooked smile. “I never thought we’d see Lester again.” He tipped his chin toward the front door. “Go get him.”
Mark didn’t need to be told twice. Lester looked like he might bolt at the slightest provocation.
“Lester!” Mark barreled down the front steps and pulled Lester into his arms. “It’s good to see you!”
Lester’s embrace was tentative at first, but then he hugged Mark hard enough to make him gasp for air, then pressed his hot face against Mark’s neck and began to cry.
“Hey, it’s all right.” Mark slid one hand to the back of Lester’s head, holding him steady while he wept. “You’re here; everything’s gonna be fine. I promise.”
Lester shook his head, but he didn’t loosen his grip on Mark. “No, it won’t.”
“Let’s go inside. We can talk about it.”
“I didn’t mean to butt in-”
“You’re not butting in.”
Mark look up to see Scott standing beside them. He gave Scott an I-don’t-know-what-to-do glance, and Scott nodded. He pried Lester’s arms loose from Mark’s waist, picked up his duffle bag and drew him toward the house.
“We’re glad to see you,” Scott said as they climbed the steps to the porch. “Have dinner with us, and then we’ll talk about whatever you want.”
Lester wiped his eyes with the back of one hand and nodded. “I am hungry,” he said.
“Good.” Scott dropped the duffle bag inside the door and led the way into the kitchen. “We’re having steaks.”
“You sure you have enough?”
“We have three,” Mark said as he cleared his books and papers from the table. “Scott must have had a premonition you’d be here. Have a seat.”
Lester sat down, still looking ill at ease. Mark didn’t ask him the questions that were foremost in his mind; those could wait until later. He got Lester a bottle of water from the refrigerator, as well as one for himself and one for Scott.
Scott began a rambling conversation about his latest roofing job, and Mark joined in, talking about his classes at the community college and his job at the campus bookstore.
“Me working in a store,” Mark said. “I still can’t believe it. I meet all kinds of people. He nudged Lester’s hand with his water bottle. I’ll have to take you over there. It’s a nice place.”
Dinner was a quiet affair, quieter than Mark was used to having. He and Scott tried to keep a neutral conversation going, but they finally ran out of things to say. He was dying to know if Lester finished the program at Genesis House and if his family had taken him back. He wondered about Gayle and Ted, too. Mostly he wondered how Lester had managed to find their tiny, out-of-the-way house in Phoenix.
“Hector told me where you were,” Lester said, uncannily reading Mark’s mind. He glanced at Scott. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Scott shook his head. “Not at all. It was no secret.”
Lester pushed his plate away and laced his fingers together on top of the table. “I finished at Genesis,” he said. “They had a party for me and everything.”
Lester stared down at his hands. “It was all a lie, though.”
He didn’t say anything for a while, but just as Mark was about to ask him a question, Scott shook his head. Mark nodded. The rest of it could wait.
“You must be exhausted,” Scott said. “Why don’t you have a shower, and while you’re doing that, Mark and I will make you up a bed on the couch. It’s a fold-out, so you should be comfortable.”
“I don’t want to be a bother,” Lester said.
“It’s no trouble,” Mark said. He got up and patted Lester on the shoulder. “Everything will be all right. You’ll see.”
Lester smiled for the first time. “At least I’m visible again.”
*******
“I wonder if his parents wouldn’t take him back,” Mark said as they got ready for bed that night. “Or maybe he couldn’t find a job.”
“We’ll find out in the morning,” Scott said. “Or rather, you’ll find out. I have to be at work at six.”
“It’s almost ten now,” Mark said. He got into bed, waiting for Scott to settle himself before he shut off the bedside light. “You’ll be exhausted.”
“I’ll be fine,” Scott slid under the covers, stretched out and closed his eyes.
Mark turned off the light and curled up against Scott’s side. “I wonder how long he’ll want to stay.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Scott yawned and his jaw cracked. “He might need a day or two to calm down; then he can think about what he wants to do.”
Mark was quiet for a minute. Money was tight; it had been from the beginning. “Can we afford to have him here?”
Scott kissed Mark’s cheek. “We can take care of a friend for a while.”
“I’ll get some more hours at the store,” Mark said. “One of the clerks needed some time off, so I’ll volunteer for her shifts.”
Scott yawned again. “Let’s just see what happens.”
*********
“I don’t have class until one, but I need to be at the store by ten,” Mark said as he cleared away the breakfast dishes. “Do you want to come along? You could see the store, and the campus is pretty nice. Class gets over at two-fifteen, and then we could come back here.”
Lester shrugged. “I guess so.” He glanced around the kitchen. “This is a nice place. Did you guys buy it?”
“It’s a rental. We’re still not sure where we’ll end up, and we didn’t want to get locked into buying a place.”
“It’s still nice,” Lester said. “I wish I had a place like this.”
Mark sat across from him. “A place like this or a place like this - which one?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe that’s what you came here to find out.”
Lester leaned back in his chair. “I just want to be happy. Like you guys.”
“Let’s talk about it on the way to the bus stop,” Mark said. He got up, clapped Lester on the shoulder and picked up his backpack. “We can talk after my class, too.”
Lester didn’t move. “You’re sure it’s all right if I stay here? I won’t get in the way. I just … I just don’t know what to do.”
“Sure.” Mark grinned at him. “We’ve never had anyone stay with us. It’ll be fun.”
“I have some money.”
“Don’t worry.” Mark tugged on his arm. “Let’s go, or we’ll be late.”
It only took a few minutes to reach the bus stop, and talking about anything important on the noisy bus was impossible. When they reached campus, Mark showed Lester where to find the student union, the library and the bookstore.
“I’ll meet you at the bookstore after class,” Mark told him. “Have fun.”
Lester nodded. “That’ll be fine.
Mark turned to go, but then looked at Lester once more. “You’re sure you’ll be all right?”
“I’ll be fine.” Lester punched his arm. “You’d better get going, college boy.”
*****
Mark saw Lester sitting at a table just outside the bookstore. He watched him for a minute, wondering how to ask about his plans. Mark hated being asked anything of a personal nature, and he assumed other people felt the same way. Well, except for Scott - Scott never seemed to mind Mark’s questions.
Lester looked up from the newspaper he was reading and waved. Mark hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and trotted over to meet him.
“So what did you do for four hours?” Mark sat down in a chair across from Lester.
Lester folded his newspaper and set it neatly aside.
“I’ve been thinking. About what to do.”
Mark nodded. “What to do about what?”
Lester blushed. “You won’t believe it.”
Mark reached out to touch Lester’s hand, but stopped himself. The staff and students he’d met knew he was gay; after all, Scott had picked him up at the bookstore a few times, and they hadn’t refrained from holding hands on their way back to the truck. But maybe Lester wasn’t ready for that kind of exposure.
“I’ll believe anything you say,” Mark said. “From the way your face is all red, I’m going to assume it’s something good.”
“I don’t know if it’s good or not. It’s just that … it’s just that I’ve met somebody. I wanted to tell you about him last night, but I just couldn’t seem to do it.”
This time, Mark didn’t hesitate to touch Lester’s hand. “Well, that’s great. Who is he? What’s he like?”
Lester’s blush intensified. “Andy Sedona. His name’s Andy Sedona. God, it feels good to say his name out loud.”
It was if he’d uncapped a gushing oil well. Mark sat and listened as Lester described Andy, how kind he was, how smart and nice-looking, too. Andy had gone to Dallas two weeks ago, and not a day went by that he didn’t call and ask Lester to join him there.
“I knew he was going there when I met him,” Lester said. “I guess I didn’t believe he would go, but then he did. He had a job waiting for him, a good one.”
“Why didn’t you go?” Mark asked. “Were you worried about what people would say?”
“Kind of.” Lester looked around the wide lobby of the student center and then back at Mark. “I was living with my folks. I was lying to them enough as it was, seeing Andy after work and telling them I had to do overtime.
“Packing up and leaving is hard,” he said. “Even leaving Genesis was hard, in weird way. I think I’d be all right with Andy, but I don’t know that for sure. What if I go to Dallas and it doesn’t work out? What if I get there and things aren’t the same? I need something I can count on.”
“We can’t be sure of anything,” Mark said. “We can’t predict what will happen today or tomorrow or even in the next five minutes.”
Lester shook his head. “That’s not true. You can be sure of Scott, can’t you?”
“Yes, but-”
“You know that no matter what, he’ll be there for you.”
Mark nodded.
“Because he loves you. And you love him. That’s what makes the difference.”
Mark drummed his fingers on the plastic tabletop. “Do you love him?”
Lester looked at him. “I asked you that once, remember? You wouldn’t answer me, but I knew the truth.”
Mark stared into the distance. Rejecting Scott was the worst mistake he’d made in a lifetime of mistakes. He’d hurt himself and Scott. Had he admitted his love for Scott, if he had accepted who and what he was, then Lester never would have tried to take his own life. Scott had said it wasn’t his fault, and Mark had tried to believe him, but that niggling doubt was always there.
“I probably would have done that anyway,” Lester said in a soft voice.
Mark forced himself to look at Lester’s kind, open face. There was no animosity and no blame. There was only kindness and generosity, two of Lester’s best qualities.
He would have apologized, but Lester held up his hand. “Let’s not talk about it.”
Mark tried to smile. “Should we talk about Andy instead?”
Lester shook his head. “Let’s go back to your place. It’s … it’s nice and peaceful there.”
Mark knew what Lester meant. Every time he walked through his front door he felt the same. The home he and Scott had made together filled him with contentment and happiness, and it was good to know that other people could feel it, too.
******
Lester, who said cooking was the only useful skill he’d learned at Genesis House, insisted on making dinner. Mark let him. Lester wanted to be of use, and Mark knew how it felt to be useless, a drain on the emotions and resources of other people. So he sat at the kitchen table and did his homework, answering Lester’s questions about Phoenix and what it was like to go back to school “when you’re so old.”
Lester put the casserole in oven, then sat down at the table. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Mark put down his pencil. “Yeah?”
Lester picked up Mark’s calculator, fooled with it for a minute, then put it back on the table. He opened his mouth once or twice, as if trying to force out the words.
Mark touched his hand. “What is it?”
“I … I wanted to know what it’s like.”
“What’s what like?”
Lester shrugged. “Being with someone.”
“You mean the same person every day? That part’s great, if you find the right person.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Lester looked out the kitchen window, then back at Mark. “I know it’s a really personal question, but I wondered what it’s like to be with another man.”
The last words came out in a rush. Mark stared at Lester for a second, then smiled.
“You haven’t been with Andy that way?”
Lester blushed. “We’ve kissed and kind of touched each other, but that’s all. I was scared to do more, and he said he didn’t want to push me.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “Then why are you here?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said he’s nice, smart, good-looking and he wants you to be with him.” Mark squeezed Lester’s hand. “And now you’re telling me he’s patient and willing to wait for you not to be afraid.”
“But -”
“Do you know how special that is?” Mark’s own past pushed its way forward, but Mark pushed right back. He hated remembering that terrible part of his life, when he was no more than a piece of ass or a drug score. “A lot of guys - it doesn’t matter if they’re gay or not - want everything, right now. If Andy says he’ll wait, that’s saying a lot.”
Lester stared at him. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
******
After having Lester back in his life, even for just a few days, it was hard to let him go again. Mark couldn’t hold back his tears as he hugged Lester good-bye.
“Call when you get there,” Scott said as he hugged Lester in turn. “We’ll worry about you, otherwise.”
“I will.” Lester picked up his bag. “I want to thank you guys, for everything.”
Scott squeezed Lester’s shoulder then put his arm around Mark’s waist. “Anytime.”
“We could visit, once you’re settled,” Mark said. “Maybe we could come to Texas to see you.”
“Or you could come here,” Scott said.
Lester nodded. “I’ll bring Andy.”
The bus driver made his last boarding call.
“I have to go,” Lester said, his grin lighting up his face. “Andy’ll be waiting for me.”
“He will be,” Mark said as he glanced up at Scott. “You can count on it.”
Author: storyfan
Fandom: Save Me (2007)
Pairing/Characters: Mark Malloy/Scott Cooper, Lester
Rating/Category: PG-13/slash
Prompt: Lester comes to visit
Spoilers: A couple of move spoilers, one of them major
Summary: Lester has a decision to make. Mark gives him a new perspective.
Disclaimer: I'm not making a cent from these characters. I'm just having a bit of fun with them.
Notes: This was written for smallfandomfest. This was written as time was running out, so it hasn’t been beta’d. If you spot errors, please let me know.
“I’d better peel an extra potato.”
“Why?” Mark didn’t look up from his algebra homework. “Two are enough.”
“Lester might want one.”
Now Mark did look up. Scott was standing at the sink, peeling potatoes and carrots for dinner. At least he was peeling them. Now he was peering out the tiny kitchen window at something Mark couldn’t see from where he was sitting at the table, puzzling out tricky equations.
He got up and went to stand beside Scott.
“That’s Lester, isn’t it?” Scott pointed at the window with his paring knife. “He looks thinner, but I’m pretty sure that’s him.”
Mark stared out the window. A man was standing on the sidewalk in front of their little house. As Mark watched, the man took a few steps toward the house, retraced those steps and stood looking once more.
“That’s him,” Mark said. A grin spread across his face. “That’s really him.”
“Better have him come in before he melts out there.” Scott picked out another potato from the small mesh bag. “It’s a good thing I picked up an extra steak.”
Mark hugged him. “You think of everything.”
“Almost everything,” Scott said, smiling his wide, crooked smile. “I never thought we’d see Lester again.” He tipped his chin toward the front door. “Go get him.”
Mark didn’t need to be told twice. Lester looked like he might bolt at the slightest provocation.
“Lester!” Mark barreled down the front steps and pulled Lester into his arms. “It’s good to see you!”
Lester’s embrace was tentative at first, but then he hugged Mark hard enough to make him gasp for air, then pressed his hot face against Mark’s neck and began to cry.
“Hey, it’s all right.” Mark slid one hand to the back of Lester’s head, holding him steady while he wept. “You’re here; everything’s gonna be fine. I promise.”
Lester shook his head, but he didn’t loosen his grip on Mark. “No, it won’t.”
“Let’s go inside. We can talk about it.”
“I didn’t mean to butt in-”
“You’re not butting in.”
Mark look up to see Scott standing beside them. He gave Scott an I-don’t-know-what-to-do glance, and Scott nodded. He pried Lester’s arms loose from Mark’s waist, picked up his duffle bag and drew him toward the house.
“We’re glad to see you,” Scott said as they climbed the steps to the porch. “Have dinner with us, and then we’ll talk about whatever you want.”
Lester wiped his eyes with the back of one hand and nodded. “I am hungry,” he said.
“Good.” Scott dropped the duffle bag inside the door and led the way into the kitchen. “We’re having steaks.”
“You sure you have enough?”
“We have three,” Mark said as he cleared his books and papers from the table. “Scott must have had a premonition you’d be here. Have a seat.”
Lester sat down, still looking ill at ease. Mark didn’t ask him the questions that were foremost in his mind; those could wait until later. He got Lester a bottle of water from the refrigerator, as well as one for himself and one for Scott.
Scott began a rambling conversation about his latest roofing job, and Mark joined in, talking about his classes at the community college and his job at the campus bookstore.
“Me working in a store,” Mark said. “I still can’t believe it. I meet all kinds of people. He nudged Lester’s hand with his water bottle. I’ll have to take you over there. It’s a nice place.”
Dinner was a quiet affair, quieter than Mark was used to having. He and Scott tried to keep a neutral conversation going, but they finally ran out of things to say. He was dying to know if Lester finished the program at Genesis House and if his family had taken him back. He wondered about Gayle and Ted, too. Mostly he wondered how Lester had managed to find their tiny, out-of-the-way house in Phoenix.
“Hector told me where you were,” Lester said, uncannily reading Mark’s mind. He glanced at Scott. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Scott shook his head. “Not at all. It was no secret.”
Lester pushed his plate away and laced his fingers together on top of the table. “I finished at Genesis,” he said. “They had a party for me and everything.”
Lester stared down at his hands. “It was all a lie, though.”
He didn’t say anything for a while, but just as Mark was about to ask him a question, Scott shook his head. Mark nodded. The rest of it could wait.
“You must be exhausted,” Scott said. “Why don’t you have a shower, and while you’re doing that, Mark and I will make you up a bed on the couch. It’s a fold-out, so you should be comfortable.”
“I don’t want to be a bother,” Lester said.
“It’s no trouble,” Mark said. He got up and patted Lester on the shoulder. “Everything will be all right. You’ll see.”
Lester smiled for the first time. “At least I’m visible again.”
*******
“I wonder if his parents wouldn’t take him back,” Mark said as they got ready for bed that night. “Or maybe he couldn’t find a job.”
“We’ll find out in the morning,” Scott said. “Or rather, you’ll find out. I have to be at work at six.”
“It’s almost ten now,” Mark said. He got into bed, waiting for Scott to settle himself before he shut off the bedside light. “You’ll be exhausted.”
“I’ll be fine,” Scott slid under the covers, stretched out and closed his eyes.
Mark turned off the light and curled up against Scott’s side. “I wonder how long he’ll want to stay.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Scott yawned and his jaw cracked. “He might need a day or two to calm down; then he can think about what he wants to do.”
Mark was quiet for a minute. Money was tight; it had been from the beginning. “Can we afford to have him here?”
Scott kissed Mark’s cheek. “We can take care of a friend for a while.”
“I’ll get some more hours at the store,” Mark said. “One of the clerks needed some time off, so I’ll volunteer for her shifts.”
Scott yawned again. “Let’s just see what happens.”
*********
“I don’t have class until one, but I need to be at the store by ten,” Mark said as he cleared away the breakfast dishes. “Do you want to come along? You could see the store, and the campus is pretty nice. Class gets over at two-fifteen, and then we could come back here.”
Lester shrugged. “I guess so.” He glanced around the kitchen. “This is a nice place. Did you guys buy it?”
“It’s a rental. We’re still not sure where we’ll end up, and we didn’t want to get locked into buying a place.”
“It’s still nice,” Lester said. “I wish I had a place like this.”
Mark sat across from him. “A place like this or a place like this - which one?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe that’s what you came here to find out.”
Lester leaned back in his chair. “I just want to be happy. Like you guys.”
“Let’s talk about it on the way to the bus stop,” Mark said. He got up, clapped Lester on the shoulder and picked up his backpack. “We can talk after my class, too.”
Lester didn’t move. “You’re sure it’s all right if I stay here? I won’t get in the way. I just … I just don’t know what to do.”
“Sure.” Mark grinned at him. “We’ve never had anyone stay with us. It’ll be fun.”
“I have some money.”
“Don’t worry.” Mark tugged on his arm. “Let’s go, or we’ll be late.”
It only took a few minutes to reach the bus stop, and talking about anything important on the noisy bus was impossible. When they reached campus, Mark showed Lester where to find the student union, the library and the bookstore.
“I’ll meet you at the bookstore after class,” Mark told him. “Have fun.”
Lester nodded. “That’ll be fine.
Mark turned to go, but then looked at Lester once more. “You’re sure you’ll be all right?”
“I’ll be fine.” Lester punched his arm. “You’d better get going, college boy.”
*****
Mark saw Lester sitting at a table just outside the bookstore. He watched him for a minute, wondering how to ask about his plans. Mark hated being asked anything of a personal nature, and he assumed other people felt the same way. Well, except for Scott - Scott never seemed to mind Mark’s questions.
Lester looked up from the newspaper he was reading and waved. Mark hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and trotted over to meet him.
“So what did you do for four hours?” Mark sat down in a chair across from Lester.
Lester folded his newspaper and set it neatly aside.
“I’ve been thinking. About what to do.”
Mark nodded. “What to do about what?”
Lester blushed. “You won’t believe it.”
Mark reached out to touch Lester’s hand, but stopped himself. The staff and students he’d met knew he was gay; after all, Scott had picked him up at the bookstore a few times, and they hadn’t refrained from holding hands on their way back to the truck. But maybe Lester wasn’t ready for that kind of exposure.
“I’ll believe anything you say,” Mark said. “From the way your face is all red, I’m going to assume it’s something good.”
“I don’t know if it’s good or not. It’s just that … it’s just that I’ve met somebody. I wanted to tell you about him last night, but I just couldn’t seem to do it.”
This time, Mark didn’t hesitate to touch Lester’s hand. “Well, that’s great. Who is he? What’s he like?”
Lester’s blush intensified. “Andy Sedona. His name’s Andy Sedona. God, it feels good to say his name out loud.”
It was if he’d uncapped a gushing oil well. Mark sat and listened as Lester described Andy, how kind he was, how smart and nice-looking, too. Andy had gone to Dallas two weeks ago, and not a day went by that he didn’t call and ask Lester to join him there.
“I knew he was going there when I met him,” Lester said. “I guess I didn’t believe he would go, but then he did. He had a job waiting for him, a good one.”
“Why didn’t you go?” Mark asked. “Were you worried about what people would say?”
“Kind of.” Lester looked around the wide lobby of the student center and then back at Mark. “I was living with my folks. I was lying to them enough as it was, seeing Andy after work and telling them I had to do overtime.
“Packing up and leaving is hard,” he said. “Even leaving Genesis was hard, in weird way. I think I’d be all right with Andy, but I don’t know that for sure. What if I go to Dallas and it doesn’t work out? What if I get there and things aren’t the same? I need something I can count on.”
“We can’t be sure of anything,” Mark said. “We can’t predict what will happen today or tomorrow or even in the next five minutes.”
Lester shook his head. “That’s not true. You can be sure of Scott, can’t you?”
“Yes, but-”
“You know that no matter what, he’ll be there for you.”
Mark nodded.
“Because he loves you. And you love him. That’s what makes the difference.”
Mark drummed his fingers on the plastic tabletop. “Do you love him?”
Lester looked at him. “I asked you that once, remember? You wouldn’t answer me, but I knew the truth.”
Mark stared into the distance. Rejecting Scott was the worst mistake he’d made in a lifetime of mistakes. He’d hurt himself and Scott. Had he admitted his love for Scott, if he had accepted who and what he was, then Lester never would have tried to take his own life. Scott had said it wasn’t his fault, and Mark had tried to believe him, but that niggling doubt was always there.
“I probably would have done that anyway,” Lester said in a soft voice.
Mark forced himself to look at Lester’s kind, open face. There was no animosity and no blame. There was only kindness and generosity, two of Lester’s best qualities.
He would have apologized, but Lester held up his hand. “Let’s not talk about it.”
Mark tried to smile. “Should we talk about Andy instead?”
Lester shook his head. “Let’s go back to your place. It’s … it’s nice and peaceful there.”
Mark knew what Lester meant. Every time he walked through his front door he felt the same. The home he and Scott had made together filled him with contentment and happiness, and it was good to know that other people could feel it, too.
******
Lester, who said cooking was the only useful skill he’d learned at Genesis House, insisted on making dinner. Mark let him. Lester wanted to be of use, and Mark knew how it felt to be useless, a drain on the emotions and resources of other people. So he sat at the kitchen table and did his homework, answering Lester’s questions about Phoenix and what it was like to go back to school “when you’re so old.”
Lester put the casserole in oven, then sat down at the table. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Mark put down his pencil. “Yeah?”
Lester picked up Mark’s calculator, fooled with it for a minute, then put it back on the table. He opened his mouth once or twice, as if trying to force out the words.
Mark touched his hand. “What is it?”
“I … I wanted to know what it’s like.”
“What’s what like?”
Lester shrugged. “Being with someone.”
“You mean the same person every day? That part’s great, if you find the right person.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Lester looked out the kitchen window, then back at Mark. “I know it’s a really personal question, but I wondered what it’s like to be with another man.”
The last words came out in a rush. Mark stared at Lester for a second, then smiled.
“You haven’t been with Andy that way?”
Lester blushed. “We’ve kissed and kind of touched each other, but that’s all. I was scared to do more, and he said he didn’t want to push me.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “Then why are you here?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said he’s nice, smart, good-looking and he wants you to be with him.” Mark squeezed Lester’s hand. “And now you’re telling me he’s patient and willing to wait for you not to be afraid.”
“But -”
“Do you know how special that is?” Mark’s own past pushed its way forward, but Mark pushed right back. He hated remembering that terrible part of his life, when he was no more than a piece of ass or a drug score. “A lot of guys - it doesn’t matter if they’re gay or not - want everything, right now. If Andy says he’ll wait, that’s saying a lot.”
Lester stared at him. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
******
After having Lester back in his life, even for just a few days, it was hard to let him go again. Mark couldn’t hold back his tears as he hugged Lester good-bye.
“Call when you get there,” Scott said as he hugged Lester in turn. “We’ll worry about you, otherwise.”
“I will.” Lester picked up his bag. “I want to thank you guys, for everything.”
Scott squeezed Lester’s shoulder then put his arm around Mark’s waist. “Anytime.”
“We could visit, once you’re settled,” Mark said. “Maybe we could come to Texas to see you.”
“Or you could come here,” Scott said.
Lester nodded. “I’ll bring Andy.”
The bus driver made his last boarding call.
“I have to go,” Lester said, his grin lighting up his face. “Andy’ll be waiting for me.”
“He will be,” Mark said as he glanced up at Scott. “You can count on it.”