Reading, Writing, Running Out of Gas
Maybe I'll keep this up. No promises.
I never do as well Spring Semester as I do Fall Semester, both my grades and attitude reflect this. This is disheartening since I truly wish to do well, especially in the classes pertaining to my major. I feel I should offer some explanation...Fall Semester starts up and within weeks I have a system all worked out, and my days just fall in succession. It's comfortable, and safe. Class, Swim, and Work all have their place in my schedule and I'm content with my routine. Also, fresh off of summer vacation I come into the school year with something to prove, like that rookie fresh off the bench after the better half of a season with his fingers crossed. This tends to fizzle out after returning from winter break, and I can't explain why it is the case.
I already feel I am falling behind. I have 4 english classes this semester, all of which require over a handful of books I cannot afford to buy, or the time to read. This poses quite an issue. I do enjoy reading, but I am extremely bad at it. I am easily distracted and dreadfully slow. Regardless, the real issue is that; due to time restraints and the amount on my plate I am taking short-cuts. Sparknotes. Pink-Monkey, and the like. I feel I am cheating myself by not reading everything I am supposed to. I can't be content just getting by...I feel like a phony.
I guess all of this is part of a bigger problem. I can't keep all the aspects of my life in balance. Maybe I'm not alone in this, and maybe that's just how life is...but...well...it sucks. If I'm doing well in school, there is no major family crisis, making enough money to get by comfortably, and swimming is going well, then my social life suffers. Not to mention that my non-existent love life remains a figment of fantasy. On the contrary though...If something in the department of the heart begins to blossom, then something else begins to suffer. It's always that while 90% of my life is going well, the other 10% keeps me off kilter.
I keep telling myself that once swimming ends I'll have more time on my hands to get back on my feet. But part of me knows that I won't put it to use. Once the warmer weather gets here too...my motivation plummets. We'll see how things turn out I suppose. Hopefully I can keep my feet on the ground.
I'm not trying to complain. As of now my life is going wonderfully...Swimming is going well, the semester has only just begun, and finally I starting to connect with someone. Things are good, it's just the looming feeling that it won't last that scares me.
I never do as well Spring Semester as I do Fall Semester, both my grades and attitude reflect this. This is disheartening since I truly wish to do well, especially in the classes pertaining to my major. I feel I should offer some explanation...Fall Semester starts up and within weeks I have a system all worked out, and my days just fall in succession. It's comfortable, and safe. Class, Swim, and Work all have their place in my schedule and I'm content with my routine. Also, fresh off of summer vacation I come into the school year with something to prove, like that rookie fresh off the bench after the better half of a season with his fingers crossed. This tends to fizzle out after returning from winter break, and I can't explain why it is the case.
I already feel I am falling behind. I have 4 english classes this semester, all of which require over a handful of books I cannot afford to buy, or the time to read. This poses quite an issue. I do enjoy reading, but I am extremely bad at it. I am easily distracted and dreadfully slow. Regardless, the real issue is that; due to time restraints and the amount on my plate I am taking short-cuts. Sparknotes. Pink-Monkey, and the like. I feel I am cheating myself by not reading everything I am supposed to. I can't be content just getting by...I feel like a phony.
I guess all of this is part of a bigger problem. I can't keep all the aspects of my life in balance. Maybe I'm not alone in this, and maybe that's just how life is...but...well...it sucks. If I'm doing well in school, there is no major family crisis, making enough money to get by comfortably, and swimming is going well, then my social life suffers. Not to mention that my non-existent love life remains a figment of fantasy. On the contrary though...If something in the department of the heart begins to blossom, then something else begins to suffer. It's always that while 90% of my life is going well, the other 10% keeps me off kilter.
I keep telling myself that once swimming ends I'll have more time on my hands to get back on my feet. But part of me knows that I won't put it to use. Once the warmer weather gets here too...my motivation plummets. We'll see how things turn out I suppose. Hopefully I can keep my feet on the ground.
I'm not trying to complain. As of now my life is going wonderfully...Swimming is going well, the semester has only just begun, and finally I starting to connect with someone. Things are good, it's just the looming feeling that it won't last that scares me.