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dear friend,
i miss you.
how have you been? how is your summer? mine has been... calm? Its odd what IB does to you. I catch myself just... relaxing sometimes and I feel guilty. I don't miss it at all though. I love not having this constant weight of stress surrounding me. I like freedom.
But there's this different kind of wind rushing about. ( Read more... )
i miss you.
how have you been? how is your summer? mine has been... calm? Its odd what IB does to you. I catch myself just... relaxing sometimes and I feel guilty. I don't miss it at all though. I love not having this constant weight of stress surrounding me. I like freedom.
But there's this different kind of wind rushing about. ( Read more... )
because i just called you. and i'd rather not blather on in voicemail when i can do so better in writing...(never mind, i gave you some voicemail blather anyway.)
even though i don't know you that well, and haven't really seen or talked to you in over a year, i care. i recognize those feelings. i used to feel that way myself. i struggled, and still struggle, with letting my pain build up to the boiling point.
you can't fill yourself with what the world has to offer. i'm very glad and proud of you that you see through the emptiness of the materialistic, hedonistic diversions our culture has to offer. however, your mistake is depending entirely on other people, who will always let you down. they are sinful and imperfect just like you. (remember what i wrote the other time, about people letting you down and vice versa? that's only a small part of the picture.) because only God won't let you down. centering your life on yourself doesn't work. your hopes and dreams are subject to your own failure, are they not? (God will give you the desires of your heart...)and leaning on other people to fulfill your needs, to understand the pain that runs through you so deeply you can't articulate it, doesn't work either. if anyone understands, it's Jesus. He experienced all the pain of being human. and it is definitely legitimate and necessary to voice those emotions in prayer. lament IS legitimate. it's the last expression of faith in God when you feel like He's turned His back on you and forgotten you. you're in the throes of despair (the opposite of lament) because you essentially placed your faith in your friends and family instead. not to say you shouldn't depend on them at all... that's another dangerous extreme. we definitely do need each other. we were made that way. but the Lord is supposed to be your primary source of strength.
even when it doesn't feel like He's listening. even when it feels like you're talking to the ceiling. let the perfect Father comfort you. i know this sounds very bizarre / possibly stupid if you're not a Christian. so this is all i'll say for this post. please feel free to call me at absolutely any time, and if i can't answer, i'll return your call as soon as possible. if you don't want to talk to me, i understand, but please talk to someone about it.
i'll be praying for you.
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