(no subject)
i guess i keep thinking about moving, it poisoning my happiness. why should i sit here and waste away my last month and a half.so from now on im gonna do something special everyday! today i sat and relaxed, something i havent done im a while, its kinda funny how you dont get bored by yourself,like today i didnt do anything and if anything it made me more happy. last night i heared this song and it made me really upset, and now ever time i hear it i cry, its crazy. leaveing home makes me kinda happy, i get to learn what lifes all about and its time for me to let go of my safe childhood, and as sure lame as im gonna sound right now, i know that i will have a freedom a heaven that ive never had before, i feel like i wanna sing agian, i want to be a beautiful person and sing my heart away.and if being alone is the way for that to happen then so be it, and by alone i dont mean leaveing all my friends and braking things off with alex i mean, just when i leave, that i will make that my new home and i willdo what it takes for me to be the best, i still want to come back to Orlando like every 2 weeks and see all my friends, i just dont want to comeback everyday like i was planing to. and my parents keep tellin me that they met the 1st week of college and they make it sound like i should pretend like have have nothing here anymore. i dont know, to be honest if i do end up without alex, then i want to be alone for a while, i kinda like being alone it makes me happy, and powerful,i sure as hell dont wanna date around, i hate that, i always have, i like haveing boys just some how falling into my life. i think this is the 1st time ive felt happy about leaving, i want to have a going away party, ill talk to Brandi about it, she can plan it. maybe a pool party or something, hahahaha fun times. well i have to go to work now...
vanna
vanna